Went to a "black tie" wedding and - Page 11

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
Although I think the jar was inappropriate, I also believe someone who attends a dinner reception and gives a cheap gift or no gift is equally tacky. We had that experience at our daughters wedding. My daughter and her groom invited people from his workplace. Many of them gave nil or just a card, but were not shy about eating or drinking. They just st came for the free food! Tacky.
When my granddaughter got married, they only invited family and close friends to celebrate this special day. People who attended loved this young couple and were there to truly celebrate their life long union. There may have been 100 guests ( including children) and they could have easily had 400 if they invited distance relatives , co workers, etc. They wanted this special day to be meaningful for everyone , therefore only close loved ones were included.

IMO the wedding should not be about the gifts. I was happy my guests took the time and showed up. It was all you can eat (catered) food and no cash bar.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Calcgirl. My brother just got married last month and had three people not give gifts. One even came up to him at the reception and apologize for not being able to afford a gift.

Miss Shelly · ‎03-28-2011

@panda1234 wrote:
@Miss Shelly wrote:
@cater wrote:
Me being from a Polish and Slavish family we did have the big wedding over 400 guests. Mass then breakfast then dinner for immediate family then the reception with food, more food, drinks, and yes we had what was called the bridal dance were everyone who cared to dance with me put a $1 in a apron. We had a live polka band that played for 4 hours and when I say everyone had a good time they did. Our wedding and reception was the best wedding people told us for years later. Would I do it again? in a heart beat had the best time of my life that day Sad thing is all most everyone who attended are now gone including my husband but 57 years ago we had a happy day with family and friends. By the way my husband and I helped pay for our wedding. My parents were not stuck with a wedding bill.
I grew up in a small town in SW PA with a large Polish/Slovack heritage. Every wedding does the Bridal Dance. A dollar is tossed into the maid of honor's apron as each guest steps in to do a twirl with the bride to the Wedding Polka that starts out slow and increases in speed. Guests receive a shot of whiskey, cigar, and a piece of wedding cake after their turn. They join a circle dancing around her as others take their turn. As the line comes to an end the Bride's female friends and family form a tight circle around her and the Groom must push his way in to grab his Bride. He picks her up and carries her out the door and they leave the wedding with the apron of money. The party usually lasts about another hour after their departure. Such a fun tradition.

If you know it sing it........la, la, la, la, la, la, la......la, la, la, la, la, la la....la, la, la, la, la, la, la....la, la, la, la, la, la, la
@Miss Shelly How sweet, do they still do it today? I can picture everything you said, sounds so nice to have a tradition like that.

The tradition still goes on. Even those who aren't of Polish/Slovak heritage have the Bridal dance. It is expected at most weddings in town, big or small.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Cakers3 wrote:
@Caaareful Shopper wrote:
@Cakers3 Exactly. Thank you.
@Caaareful Shopper You're welcome. I personally have never attended a wedding with a money dance but would have had no problem with one.

Putting a jar on a table with a specific "Honeymoon Fund" is in poor taste.

The couple can do as they please with $$ gifts; but putting conditions on what people are giving is just plain out of line.

Sorry but I find a "money dance" just as tacky too!

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

We were invited to a wedding last year that stole my heart. The invitation said "in lieu of gifts, please bring as many nonperishable foods as you can for the local food bank. We would love to donate as much as we can to the war on hunger in our community"
There was so much food brought they had to fill trucks with it and make several trips to the food bank. I think it was a selfless, wonderful way to celebrate a special day. You can celebrate by thinking of others as well.

A far cry from other weddings I have attended since then.

mamaslittlepotato · ‎03-09-2010

@lovesrecess......Great idea! More “no gifts please” wedding, anniversary party, etc. invitations should state this.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@Miss Shelly wrote:
@cater wrote:
Me being from a Polish and Slavish family we did have the big wedding over 400 guests. Mass then breakfast then dinner for immediate family then the reception with food, more food, drinks, and yes we had what was called the bridal dance were everyone who cared to dance with me put a $1 in a apron. We had a live polka band that played for 4 hours and when I say everyone had a good time they did. Our wedding and reception was the best wedding people told us for years later. Would I do it again? in a heart beat had the best time of my life that day Sad thing is all most everyone who attended are now gone including my husband but 57 years ago we had a happy day with family and friends. By the way my husband and I helped pay for our wedding. My parents were not stuck with a wedding bill.
I grew up in a small town in SW PA with a large Polish/Slovack heritage. Every wedding does the Bridal Dance. A dollar is tossed into the maid of honor's apron as each guest steps in to do a twirl with the bride to the Wedding Polka that starts out slow and increases in speed. Guests receive a shot of whiskey, cigar, and a piece of wedding cake after their turn. They join a circle dancing around her as others take their turn. As the line comes to an end the Bride's female friends and family form a tight circle around her and the Groom must push his way in to grab his Bride. He picks her up and carries her out the door and they leave the wedding with the apron of money. The party usually lasts about another hour after their departure. Such a fun tradition.

If you know it sing it........la, la, la, la, la, la, la......la, la, la, la, la, la la....la, la, la, la, la, la, la....la, la, la, la, la, la, la

@Miss Shelly@ @cater

Same experience here. I remember attending a family wedding in Youngstown OH when I was 16. Wedding in morning. Then family went to reception luncheon. Later in evening returned to the reception venue for huge celebration that went on into the wee hours. Live band, hundreds of home made cookies. Those were big wedding celebrations of old.

When I remarried at age 40 into a slovak family the bridal dance was expected. Almost like a ritual for my husband's family and they and my husband would have been very disappointed if I had refused to partake. Remember the shaking of the hankies during the dance.

Anyway my wedding was 25 years ago. I have noticed at some of the more recent family wedding this tradition is starting to wane. I think it is because of the passing of some of the older family members who encouraged the young couple to partake in the tradition.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Omg! That has to be the tackiest thing I ever heard of.

Rockycoast · ‎03-02-2016

@Calcgirl wrote:
Although I think the jar was inappropriate, I also believe someone who attends a dinner reception and gives a cheap gift or no gift is equally tacky. We had that experience at our daughters wedding. My daughter and her groom invited people from his workplace. Many of them gave nil or just a card, but were not shy about eating or drinking. They just st came for the free food! Tacky.
When my granddaughter got married, they only invited family and close friends to celebrate this special day. People who attended loved this young couple and were there to truly celebrate their life long union. There may have been 100 guests ( including children) and they could have easily had 400 if they invited distance relatives , co workers, etc. They wanted this special day to be meaningful for everyone , therefore only close loved ones were included.

@Calcgirl Sorry, but guests attending a wedding are not required to bring a gift. Cheap, expensive, or none at all. They are invited guests. Payment to attend is not required. It is a nice gesture, but that is all it is. You are going into weddings with the wrong mind set, Guests also don't have to give a gift (if they do), that "pays" for their dinner and drinks or is equal to the cost of that plate. You need to peruse some wedding sites and books. It may help you.