Community Chat

[panda1234]

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@ID2 wrote:

Simple solution...if you don't like this custom then don't leave any money in the jar. Problem solved.

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@ID2  And that is what we did along with the other people we sat with. 

[missy1]

no.

Very tacky. I would have moved the jar to the next table over.

[ciao_bella]

Very rude and tacky!  Many things have changed these days and not all for the best.  If you can't afford something, don't look for people to fund it for you!

Years ago, I remember looking in bridal shops for my wedding gown.  My budget was very small and the gowns were out of my limited budget.  There was a rack marked 'as is' and I proceeded to look there.  A very pretty gown had some damage to the bottom layer where the flouncy lace attached to the gown.   It appeared someone had stepped on the bottom and part of it was just hanging .  My mother was with me and, although she wasn't a professional seamstress, she was darn good with a sewing machine and hand sewing.  We both loved the gown and if you can believe, the gown was marked $20 as is, no returns.  I bought that gown and my mother fixed it perfectly!  No one would ever know it had been damaged.  It looked beautiful and I felt like a princess that day!

[RedHeadedWench]

My daughter‘s best friend from childhood is getting married in a couple of weeks....and she hasn’t seen her or heard from her in about five years. When she showed me the invitation, it also indicated formal and it also included directions to a website where they were having a honeymoon fund in lieu of gifts.

 Now, this family is not a wealthy one but my daughter’s friend has a champagne pocketbook. She and her new husband to be are planning a honeymoon trip to Bali. 

 I told my daughter what I thought of this and because I have known this girl since she was five years old, I am not at all surprised. I think this trend is tacky .

 My own daughter is getting married next spring, and when she saw this invitation she kind of said well mom that’s a really good idea because we really can’t afford a honeymoon. I told her asking for money for a honeymoon is tacky, if you can’t afford one now you can afford one in the future.  There are  no rules on when a honeymoon should take place.  You should be grateful for whatever anyone gives you for your wedding or your shower. 

Did I mention that her friend marrying a doctor?

[YorkieonmyPillow]

Generally speaking, begging and/or asking for money has become more common. To be read two ways...

[NicksmomESQ]

    It amazes me how shameless people are today.I was raised that if you can’t afford it you just don’t do it,period.

    DH & I paid for our own weddding.We wed in my mother in law’s living room & had our reception in the back yard. Total cost $500.

    All of our friends were going into debt having lavish country club weddings.They looked down on us. Many of them are divorced today & still in debt.DH & I are going on 38 years of happiness. We have a very comfortable life, live well & have no debt.

   If you have to set up a fund & ask for cash contributions you’re planning the wrong event.

   Oh! I just found out last night that a friend of mine is throwing her daughter a $45,000 sweet 16 party next Spring!! I’m in shock!! My son called it “a wedding without the bride & groom”. How nuts is that!! 

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@RedHeadedWenchI've been married nearly 14 years and we still haven't taken a honeymoon.

Every time we go somewhere "different," I ask my husband is this is our honeymoon..........LOL...............

[Cakers3]

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@missy1 wrote:

no.

Very tacky. I would have moved the jar to the next table over.

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@missy1  LOL  I was just going to say the same thing-only I would have moved the jar to the wedding table. 

Selfish little twits.

[151949]

The sad thing is that there are people who will feel compelled to put money in those jars!

The thing is - young people today do things differently than we did. What we old folks find to be very very rude - their peers find perfectly acceptable. couples live together and have children years before they marry - perfectly acceptable. Young people today have sex with almost everyone they go out on a date with - also perfectly acceptable. Having your children be your ring bearer and flower girl - perfectly acceptable.  Young people today would never under any circumstances give anything else as a wedding gift but cash. The world is changing. Norms & morals are different.

[sidsmom]

Obviously y’all haven’t been to a wedding with a Money Dance.

Worldwide this is a tradition.  Would this be ok vs the jar?

Same outcome. 

Many different countries and a long-time decades-old tradition.