Well. I Have Seen it All - Page 14

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
@CalminHeart wrote:
@Calcgirl wrote:
I went to Safeway today and I saw a lady with two kids, all of them dressed in pajamas. She also had big fuzzy slippers and a old robe on. By the looks of her hair and the kids hair, it was apparent they just got out of bed although it was later in the afternoon. Not sure if they were sick or what, but I stayed a distance away from them just in case. This is a nice area, so I doubt she was dressed this way because she could not afford clothes.

So what. Who cares why they were dressed that way. And you stayed away from them. Wow, just wow. How very judgmental and privileged of you.
APPARENTLY YOU DID NOT READ MY ENTIRE POST! I STATED I STAYED AWAY BECAUSE I WONDERED IF SHE AND HER CHILDREN WERE SICK SINCE IT WAS APPARENT BY THEIR CLOTHING AND MESSY HAIR THEY HAD BEEN IN BED. I AM NOT GOING TO BE SHAMED BY YOU FOR STATING I WAS TRYING TO STAY SAFE FROM GERMSIN CASE THIS FAMILY WAS SICK. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND DON'T EAT ANYMORE NAILS.

I read it. So, wearing pjs to a store means they are likely sick? Good grief.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@LindaSal wrote:
I'm a little surprised by the negative responses on here or should I be? I totally got what the OP was saying and didn't see anything wrong with it. I too recently stayed at an upscale hotel (so what!?) and certain floors had private lounges, again (so what?!) If you have worked hard you have a right to enjoy certain things in your life. What you share with others is up to you.........but the point I was getting at was in this "fancy pants" hotel lounge they literally had a sign on the wall that "pajama's and slippers are not allowed in the lounge area". So that says it all, don't assume everyone who dresses like a total slob in public is poor or is mentally ill. JMO.

I got what she was saying too. Who cares what they wear? Why be so judgmental? Why assume they are sick? It looks like privilege to me.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
@Calcgirl I would see the situation differently...

I would not pass judgement on her clothes or her children's clothes.... perhaps they are homeless or such... you do not know what she can afford....

I would say she is taking care of her children having them with her... the children are not left home alone or in the car.... and she getting groceries to feed them. That is a good Mother...

To put such emphasis on how they are dressed seems really discriminating. Lucky you that you are dressed to the T to go out and have such a blessed life.

I wish my posts had been as tactful as yours.

I work with the poor and it irks me to no end how people judge them. Most are much nicer than the richest person in the area. They are doing the best they can. Judgment is the last thing they need to keep doing their best.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@Trailrun23 wrote:
I am not willing to excuse every person who goes out in public with poor hygiene and dressed in pjs or dirty clothes because they might have mental illness. I have a dear nephew who has suffered with mental illness for years...he still brushes his hair and puts on clothes when he is out of the house. He always looks presentable.

Not every mentally ill person is like your nephew. You don't have to excuse people but you should still be kind and non-judgmental on the outside.

I have to admit surprise that someone would judge this long enough to finish shopping, pay, pick up/take to the care, drive home, put away groceries, and then write about it.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@bewise wrote:
I don't care what anyone writes,there always a NASTY person to respond.I just don't understand people sometime.We all have likes dislikes,no one has the right answer we all are not perfect.Many times I will respond to a statement,an boy,I will get the same treatment.

It's always interesting that someone is called nasty when they call out someone for an offensive statement.

Granted, my posts were not very tactful. The way people treat and judge the poor really bothers me. I work with the poor. They struggle for many reasons... job issues, lousy pay, lousy benefits, homelessness, loss of a loved one, lack of acces to a better education, etc, and some, mental health. They are nicer than most people making a million dollars a year.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
I went to Safeway today and I saw a lady with two kids, all of them dressed in pajamas. She also had big fuzzy slippers and a old robe on. By the looks of her hair and the kids hair, it was apparent they just got out of bed although it was later in the afternoon. Not sure if they were sick or what, but I stayed a distance away from them just in case. This is a nice area, so I doubt she was dressed this way because she could not afford clothes.

Granted, my posts were not very tactful. The way people treat and judge the poor, how others dress, wear their hair, etc, really cuts to my core.

I work with the poor; the poor at many levels. They struggle for many reasons... job issues, lousy pay, lousy benefits, abuse, discrimination, homelessness, loss of a loved one, medical bills, cost of prescriptions, lack of access to a better education, etc, and some, drugs or mental health.

Many people just struggle. It doesn't make them worthy of judgment or disdain.

Warrior2022 · ‎05-31-2018

I'm sorry your father never taught you human compassion.

Calcgirl · ‎03-10-2010

I just read all of the responses to my post and wow, I don't know if I should laugh or cry. First, some of you accuse me of harshly judging this woman. Unless she was ill and came in to get meds she was inappropriately dressed. period. Second, I got blasted for stating I lived in a nice area. I mentioned this to let the readers know the store is in a upscale neighborhood where we do not even have public transportation nearby. I can't believe someone who has little money can afford to travel 30 miles to come to a grocery store! Besides, I am not going to apologize for working by butt off all of my life to make something of myself so I did not have to stay in a poor neighborhood! When I was in school, I worked very hard when other kids skipped school and spent their time getting high. So who should be ashamed, myself or them???? I realize there are those like my parents who due to circumstances beyond their control suffer economically and my heart goes out to them. I try to do my part in giving them aid. I am considered a kind and considerate person.

By the way, I have seen this lady and her two girls since this posting and she drives a very expensive Mercedes Benz and was dressed very nicely, so I assume she and her girls had some reason to be in public in their PJ's. Also, when I have volunteered at a homeless shelter and a kitchen in a poverty stricken area, all of those dear people had regular clothes on and not PJ's. Pajamas are probably a luxury to many. Many do not even own a warm coat to keep warm in. How many who harshly judged me go out of your way to help the poor? Do you give them coats, blankets, clothing, food. Do you volunteer your time ? Or do you just sit in judgement of others? That woman has the money to dress herself and her daughters, because of this, I was surprised to see her in her jammies, that is why I wondered if she was sick and had to go to the store to pick up a script or something. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Don't forget the children who have nothing under the tree, I know from experience how that feels.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
I went to Safeway today and I saw a lady with two kids, all of them dressed in pajamas. She also had big fuzzy slippers and a old robe on. By the looks of her hair and the kids hair, it was apparent they just got out of bed although it was later in the afternoon. Not sure if they were sick or what, but I stayed a distance away from them just in case. This is a nice area, so I doubt she was dressed this way because she could not afford clothes.

@Calcgirl It is quite possible she was dressed that way because she is homeless or unhoused. It is becoming more common to find either single or camps of homeless people in wooded areas and vacant green belts in any area of town.

You will never see them unless you know just where they are. They are also housed in older motels and buildings through city programs--which you wouldn't be aware of often unless it is publicized.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
I just read all of the responses to my post and wow, I don't know if I should laugh or cry. First, some of you accuse me of harshly judging this woman. Unless she was ill and came in to get meds she was inappropriately dressed. period. Second, I got blasted for stating I lived in a nice area. I mentioned this to let the readers know the store is in a upscale neighborhood where we do not even have public transportation nearby. I can't believe someone who has little money can afford to travel 30 miles to come to a grocery store! Besides, I am not going to apologize for working by butt off all of my life to make something of myself so I did not have to stay in a poor neighborhood! When I was in school, I worked very hard when other kids skipped school and spent their time getting high. So who should be ashamed, myself or them???? I realize there are those like my parents who due to circumstances beyond their control suffer economically and my heart goes out to them. I try to do my part in giving them aid. I am considered a kind and considerate person.
By the way, I have seen this lady and her two girls since this posting and she drives a very expensive Mercedes Benz and was dressed very nicely, so I assume she and her girls had some reason to be in public in their PJ's. Also, when I have volunteered at a homeless shelter and a kitchen in a poverty stricken area, all of those dear people had regular clothes on and not PJ's. Pajamas are probably a luxury to many. Many do not even own a warm coat to keep warm in. How many who harshly judged me go out of your way to help the poor? Do you give them coats, blankets, clothing, food. Do you volunteer your time ? Or do you just sit in judgement of others? That woman has the money to dress herself and her daughters, because of this, I was surprised to see her in her jammies, that is why I wondered if she was sick and had to go to the store to pick up a script or something. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Don't forget the children who have nothing under the tree, I know from experience how that feels.

I really don't care if that woman drives a fancy car and lives in a fancy home. It doesn't tell me anything that warrants judgment.

You saw a shelter where people were dressed somewhat to your liking. That's not how it is everywhere....or even for most. They don't all have clean clothes, matching shoes, clean fingernails, clean teeth.

Yes, I go out of my way to help the poor.

I volunteer at shelters.
I donate food to shelter meals.
I donated 4 sizes of women's clothing to shelters after losing weight. That includes coats, business attire, business casual, casual clothes and a lot more. I earn 1/3 of what I did before retiring and could have sold them but cared more about people.
I donate to my parish's food pantry and the metro food pantry.
I volunteer at the metro food pantry.
I donate to my parish's Angel Tree - Christmas gifts for kids who wouldn't get any otherwise - and Toys for Tots.
I hire a day laborer from the local Catholic Worker House to help with some of the heavy duty yard work and snow plowing. He has been helping my neighbor and me for 10 years now. I've fed him, given him clothes and bedding, etc etc too.
the list goes on and on.

It sounds like you've been blessed in this world and that you appreciate that. Just don't expect others to meet your standards.