Weigh In On This - Page 4

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

You should be careful what you say in texts to your sister because your BIL may read them since he seems so interested in your sister's communications, especially with you.

And I suspect your sister would tell her husband about your conversations anyway even if he wasn't around to listen in.

Your sister's husband sounds very controlling, and I'd just say nothing to your sister that you don't want him to know.

I doubt this situation will change. It is what it is.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Jordan2 wrote:
My sister has a landline phone she doesn't use, I call her on her cellphone. She has a habit of having her calls on speaker. I don't like her husband, he doesn't like me and has bean mean and emotionally abusive to me. She will talk to me on speaker with him sitting right next to her! I have told her please don't put me on speaker when he is around, I don't want him to know anything that is going on in my life. She will take her children's calls off speaker when I am with her for privacy which is fine by me. I said something to her again today, she says well there my be times I can't call you, I said that's fine. I always felt a conversation is between two people, I don't need a third party hanging on every word.

@Jordan2 This isn't about you, however.

You have had this BIL for how many years?

There is no answer here because all we have is your story.

Certainly there are "red flags" regarding his behavior and the concern for your sister by others is valid.

You have choices here: accept the calls as they are because that issue is not going to change. You have made your discomfort very clear to your sister.

Whether you can step in regarding abuse is difficult because you have nothing more here than the phone calls.

If your concern is just about the phone calls, then nothing else can be said.

Since you do not know all there is to know about her marriage, and you base this on your feelings about not liking him and he not liking you-your perception is out of line.

Your other choice is to simply stop calling and texting; her decision to have him sitting there (how do you know it is every time?) is hers, not yours.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

My hearing impaired husband puts every call on speakerphone and still has trouble hearing. The landline has captioning though but it's always a bit behind.

I know my response is off topic but I am throwing it out there anyway 😏

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Jordan2 wrote:
My sister has a landline phone she doesn't use, I call her on her cellphone. She has a habit of having her calls on speaker. I don't like her husband, he doesn't like me and has bean mean and emotionally abusive to me. She will talk to me on speaker with him sitting right next to her! I have told her please don't put me on speaker when he is around, I don't want him to know anything that is going on in my life. She will take her children's calls off speaker when I am with her for privacy which is fine by me. I said something to her again today, she says well there my be times I can't call you, I said that's fine. I always felt a conversation is between two people, I don't need a third party hanging on every word.

Stop calling your sister and text her or send her an email. A lot easier than trying to analyze the situation when you don't really know all the facts of their relationship @Jordan2 .

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

You can't even have a private conversation with your sister without her husband listening in? Nope, no way would I do that. Controlling and inappropriate.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

Spurt · ‎03-20-2010

@Jordan2

This sounds very disturbing to me----why does her husband sit there while you two are carrying on a conversation----most men would be bored and get up and walk away especially since he doesnt particularly like you--it seems that talk would be down right boring to him-

It sounds like her husband is there on purpose because he's paranoid, controlling, and possessive of your sister, which is not normal and it's a form of abuse----He can be emotionally abusive without being physically abusive!

Your sister may be in denial ---- and what did she mean "there may be times I can't call you".....does she mean because of her husband...???? he wont allow her to make calls unless he's around....???? This situation doesnt sound good at all and your sister may need to get away from him whih may require some professional help!

Animals are reliable, full of love, true in their affections, grateful. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@tansy wrote:
My hearing impaired husband puts every call on speakerphone and still has trouble hearing. The landline has captioning though but it's always a bit behind.
I know my response is off topic but I am throwing it out there anyway 😏

@tansy no your response isn't off topic. Maybe her sister is hard of hearing and the OP doesn't know. Some people say it works better for them.