Wedding guest lists - Page 2

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

I know someone who sent out save the date cards. When it was time to send out the invitations they realized that they could not invite that many people due to the size of the room. The guest list was cut and some people were not invited. One of the "save the date" guests decided to call and find out where her invitation was. It was explained to her what happened, but was told if she really wanted to attend they would make room for her. If you decide to call make sure you really want to go as they might tell you to attend anyway. If you were meant to get an invitation and it got lost they would have gotten in touch with you as you would have had to rsvp. I would forget about the whole situation and next time do not change your plans so fast.

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

Yes, I would expect an invitation, but no, I wouldn't call or inquire. I would assume I wasn't invited and calling would be awkward to say the least.

On another note, the "save the date" practice is a bunch of nonsense. Anyone you know well enough to invite to your wedding knows the date. People you don't know that well but for some reason you have to invite are no great loss if they don't come.

~What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.~ William Shakespeare

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@RollTide2008 wrote:
I would assume plans have changed and move on.

This.

Some couples/families want to include everyone they know when first planning a wedding. Then they get a dose of reality and need to start trimming the guest list. Someone in your position, @Trailrun23, would probably be one of the first to get the axe before family, friends, and current colleagues. Don't call. It only makes it awkward for both you and the hosts. Move on.

Maybe there is time to reschedule your orignal trip.

ETA - think about it. If they had your address for the STD notice, they had your address if it was their intention to invite you and said invitation would have arrived several weeks ago and they would have had to have your RSVP by now to give their cater a final number. I hate to sound harsh, but you were not invited.

Back in the Stone Age, when DH and I got married, there wasn't such a thing as STD cards. We made our list and sent the invitations. There was a girl in our young people's group at church, she was a friend but not a good friend. It was our decision from the beginning that we would not be inviting her. She used to date DH's friend who was to be a groomsman. I was good friends with his fiancé and she wa going to stand up for me. The summer before our wedding they broke up and they both stepped away from being in the wedding. We had no animosity toward either of them. She lived in another state but he attended as a guest. A day or two before our wedding, the old g/f called my DH to see if her invitation got lost in the mail. Believe me, it was awkward and unnecessary. Sometimes you just have to read the clues.

AZfem · ‎04-13-2016

Are you really close friends with this former colleague? Do you talk frequently? If so, wouldn't you be speaking of this with each other?

If your not close would assume they cut the guest list.

I would never cancel a trip to go to someone I was not really close to daughters wedding. Do you even know the daughter? Can you reinstate the trip?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Save the date cards should only be sent to people you absolutely, positively will invite to the wedding. You decide how many people people you are inviting BEFORE you send save the dates. But I think in your scenario, I would not call to inquire about my invitation nor would I accept a pity invitation knowing they didn't really want me.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

Wow that could be a tough one but I would call to ask if you are invited....after all they sent you a "save the date".

You never know, perhaps the invite got lost in the mail. My DD got married last May. As the date got closer my brother asked when she was mailing out the invitations. He had never received his even though she mailed it over three weeks before. I had her send him another one but he knew he was invited since he's my brother and we are close.

She had mailed it from Philadelphia to St. Louis. I had several problems with the mail in recent years.

ETA: Don't assume anything. My DD never had a shower and didn't want one. USPS is not perfect and has problems from time to time. Plus if they sent out too many save the date cards that's on them....it's certainly not the fault of the guest who is wondering what is going on!

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@Janey2 wrote:
I know someone who sent out save the date cards. When it was time to send out the invitations they realized that they could not invite that many people due to the size of the room. The guest list was cut and some people were not invited. One of the "save the date" guests decided to call and find out where her invitation was. It was explained to her what happened, but was told if she really wanted to attend they would make room for her. If you decide to call make sure you really want to go as they might tell you to attend anyway. If you were meant to get an invitation and it got lost they would have gotten in touch with you as you would have had to rsvp. I would forget about the whole situation and next time do not change your plans so fast.

@Janey2

Why would a person want to go after being told "you didn't make the cut"? Maybe it's a guy thing, ain't no way I would think of going. And a gift! 😂 😅

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

@Trailrun23 wrote:
If you receive a "save the date" card for a wedding, wouldn't you expect to get a wedding invitation? I cancelled a trip out of town when I learned the wedding date...but now it is two weeks before the wedding and still no invitation. Would you call the sender? The bride is the daughter of a former colleague and we worked together for years.

@Trailrun23 @This happened to my friends. Our group of friends expected to go to the wedding of the daughter of our very close friends. We all had known the bride to be since she was a one year old. One couple received their save the date card but no invitation. When my friend told me they did not get an invite, I knew it was a mistake. I told them to call the bride or bride's mother, or I would call and check to see if there was a mistake. I called the bride's mother and it turned out that they were mailed an invitation which must have been lost in the mail. I called my friend back and explained and then she called the bride's mother. They RSVPd during the call and they attended the wedding.

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

I wouldn't call because by now if they haven't received an RSVP from you they might realize that you did not receive an invitation.

@Trailrun23 I'm surprised your friend hasn't gotten in touch with you since you might be going as one of her guests.

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

Another thought....

Having organized our daughters wedding last year,...

No matter how well the hosts plan, there are those invitees who either don't pay attention to the RSVP date, or think mailing them back on time doesn't apply to them. We had a number of guests unaccounted for as the due date was closing in. All of them were contacted personally, to find out their intentions. If this friend hasn't heard from you by this stage in the timeline, as the MOB who wants everything to go smoothly, she probably would have contacted you by now if she had invited you..