Community Chat

[Trailrun23]

If you receive a "save the date" card for a wedding, wouldn't you expect to get a wedding invitation? I cancelled a trip out of town when I learned the wedding date...but now it is two weeks before the wedding and still no invitation. Would you call the sender? The bride is the daughter of a former colleague and we worked together for years.  

[lgfan]

I would call and ask about the invitation.  I have never heard of save the date card and not get an invitation.

[RollTide2008]

I would assume plans have changed and move on.

[Suzeecat]

Did you ever get a shower invite?  If not, it kind of sounds like plans were called off, but since you went to the trouble of changing your OWN plans, I would say it's worth a call to confirm.  If something was lost in the mail, I would think the family would be horrified that you did that and did not receive your invitation, assuming that you are still interested in attending.

[Chessa35]

If you really want to attend the wedding then call .After all ,you did take time off .  If you really don't want to go , here's your reason .

[kaydee50]

It's 2 weeks before the wedding?  You should have received an invite, assuming you were sent one, by now.  And yes, I would call the sender.  To me a "save the date" implies you will be invited otherwise why save the date???

[santorini]

I don't know if I would call or not.  It would put that person on the spot.  What if they decided they had sent out too many Save the Date cards and couldn't afford that many attendees so they cut some people out.  That would make for an uncomfortable conversation if they had to admit that you were chopped.

[beckyb1012]

Yes I would but I also would not just assume plans have changed.  I received the actual invitation to a wedding connected to my office on a Tuesday.  In my Saturday mail a few days later the card informing the guests the wedding had been cancelled was delivered.  Also, in that mail that same day was the second wedding invitation of a cousin to the wedding mentioned above.  I never received the first invite so the bride to be sent me a second one.  

Very strange getting all that in just a few days times even though I knew all the ups and downs to the events.  Do not assume it could be lost or yes it could be over.

[deepwaterdotter]

Wedding plans sound a bit 'iffy'.  I wouldn't go overboard on buying a gift.

[hckynutjohn]

@Trailrun23 

Some people have their heads where the sun don't shine. Decades ago I went to enough weddings to last my lifetime. The last, being my own, in 2002.

I had an issue with a wedding/divorce in my own family. I don't walk tightropes, even though my mother wanted me to do so in this instance. With me, I am IN, or I am OUT. I leave no doubt on which side I fall.

Since you "cancelled a trip out of town" for a "former colleague's daughter"! I am not familiar with what "is standard etiquette(if there is such a thing)". I say go with your gut.

hckynut 🇺🇸