Wedding gift question

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

We are invited to a wedding and the couple is requesting money for their honeymoon. They have setup a website for you to pick different things that you might want your money to go to....hotel room, meals, flight. My question is, how far in advance do you give the money? They would need it way before the wedding in order to make the necessary reservations. Has anyone done this before? Wedding is in November, should we give the gift now?

Lilysmom · ‎03-09-2010

@panda1234 , that is a new one for me. I kind of think that just looks like such a money grab. Am I the only one that thinks that? I know it happens but I think it’s tacky. LM

mary0129 · ‎03-07-2019

Give them a check at the wedding. Don't spend too much time thinking about it. They will be delighted. Daughter got married last year so I've been there.

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

I personally would give it as late as possible, just out of spite, LOL. I'm kidding..... maybe.

I HATE couples asking for money for a wedding gift. If you can't afford the honeymoon, don't go. To me, it's the ultimate gift grab.

My best friend's daughter did this when she got married a few years ago. Her mom (my friend) wasn't thrilled with the idea at all, but of course, didn't say anything to cause any angst. I donated (it was to a general honeymoon fund- the funds when straight to the couple), but also gave a gift as I'd had something made for them.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

MLM21 · ‎04-02-2018

I got married in 1996 and I had the opposite problem. We never register anyplace as my now husband had everything we needed (we were both in the Navy at the time and he had an apt. so he had everything to set up a house (sans Microwave)). I honestly could not care less if people brought gifts as we did not need anything. Heard through the grapevine that people actually complained that we DID NOT have a registary and did not know what to get us.

This might be the issue with this couple. Like us, they probably already have a house or apt/condo, so they don't need need bedding, pots/pans, etc. So to them if people are expecting to pay for a gift, then why not on their honeymoon? No worse than showing up to a wedding with gift cards or cash instead of bedding as an example.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@MLM21 wrote:
I got married in 1996 and I had the opposite problem. We never register anyplace as my now husband had everything we needed (we were both in the Navy at the time and he had an apt. so he had everything to set up a house (sans Microwave)). I honestly could not care less if people brought gifts as we did not need anything. Heard through the grapevine that people actually complained that we DID NOT have a registary and did not know what to get us.

This might be the issue with this couple. Like us, they probably already have a house or apt/condo, so they don't need need bedding, pots/pans, etc. So to them if people are expecting to pay for a gift, then why not on their honeymoon? No worse than showing up to a wedding with gift cards or cash instead of bedding as an example.

@MLM21 They do have everything that is why they did this. I do not have a problem with it, just don't know when to deposit the money....how far in advance.

Bri369 · ‎11-03-2018

I would put the money in a month in advance.

Personally, I think asking to contribute to a honeymoon fund is tacky. I always give a cash gift and I honesty have no problem with the couple using it any way they wish. But asking for contributions to a honeymoon just seems tacky to me.

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

@panda1234

I have the same situation with a late September wedding.

Couple registered a few items, but mostly wanted $$ for the honeymoon saying they had a household set up, etc.

It's on my husband's side and he is going solo to the wedding, which is out of town.

I'm plannng to deposit the money sometime soon, which is a few weeks before the event.

This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. The last wedding requested specific amounts for their trip to Disneyland.

While certainly not traditional by my standards, I'd rather give them what they want.

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

I would just give them a check at their wedding. At least they will have money after their honeymoon. Yup, todays society is all about instant gratification. Too bad.

"Pure Michigan"

DLew · ‎03-18-2010

The one and only time that I was asked to contribute to a honeymoon was on a save the date card. I planned to bring a card with a check to the wedding which is my way. Never received an invitation and found out that the wedding never happened. Later the groom married someone else. No shower, no reception. None of the relatives I know contributed to the honeymoon fund. I don’t know what happened to the fund. This all happened over fifteen years ago.