Community Chat

[Peaches McPhee]

Hubby and I are attending a wedding in a few weeks.  We are giving them a check.  Mary Doe is marrying John Smith.  How does one write out the check?  I don't know if she is assuming his last name. 

Mary Doe and John Smith? 

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith? 

John and Mary Smith?

Thanks in advance for the advice!

[lolakimono]

@Peaches McPhee

Mary Doe OR John Smith- that way either one can cash it with ID.

But if you're attending, and not mailing the card early, I would just do CA$H. 

[Abrowneyegirl]

If Mary is your friend or relative, then write the check out to her with her maiden name.  Mary's name (assuming she is changing her name) will not be legally changed until she files all the paperwork after the wedding.

In the subject line you may want to write a congratulations note to the 2 of them.

[seaBreeze]

Glad you are giving a check .... known 2 couples who "lost" cash envelopes (either through disorganization or "unsavory person in the room helping themselves.")

I use the groom's name only on the check.

[Abrowneyegirl]

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@seaBreeze wrote:

Glad you are giving a check .... known 2 couples who "lost" cash envelopes (either through disorganization or "unsavory person in the room helping themselves.")

I use the groom's name only on the check.

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Agreed.  Do NOT give cash.  At weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and other celebrations there is too much confusion and excitement.  envelopes are small and easily misplaced or stolen.  Men put them in their suit coats then take off the coats when it gets hot.  
A friend of our worked in a tux shop and they freq found envelopes of cash in pockets!!!

[Trix]

Cash for many of the reasons already given is not a good idea at a big event.  Misplaced and lost happens more frequently than outright stolen, but the result is still the couple doesn't get your gift.   I would make the check out to whichever one of the couple is the reason you are attending the wedding.  If you are the groom's guest to him, and vice versa if you are the bride's guest (using her maiden name). 

[betteb]

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@Trix wrote:

Cash for many of the reasons already given is not a good idea at a big event.  Misplaced and lost happens more frequently than outright stolen, but the result is still the couple doesn't get your gift.   I would make the check out to whichever one of the couple is the reason you are attending the wedding.  If you are the groom's guest to him, and vice versa if you are the bride's guest (using her maiden name). 

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Yes, this.

[lainey1]

This is according to The Knot website:

Q:
If you give a gift of money at the wedding ceremony, to whom should the check be made out? Bride and/or groom? Married names or names before marriage?

A:
The basic rule of thumb is that before the wedding, you should make the check out to the bride or groom, depending on who you're closer to (if it's the bride, use her maiden name, in case she hasn't changed it yet or isn't going to!), and send it to him or her. If it's the wedding day or later, make the check payable to both bride and groom (using married names unless the bride is keeping her own name).

[beach-mom]

Whether or not I mail it before or take it to the wedding, I always make the check out "John and/or Mary Smith." That way the bride can have a little delight in seeing her married name (if she takes her groom's), and only one needs to be present to deposit it. If the bride keeps her maiden name, which believe it or not, we've never had to deal with, I would write "Mary Doe and/or John Smith." 

[Kitlynn]

I always make the check out to the person I am personally friends with or related to.