Community Chat

[Starpolisher]

Okay, I admit it. I'm sixty and was raised with 1950's rules and etiquette which I am perfectly happy with!!!!!

My son is getting married this month and I am surprised how some things are changing and are now considered acceptable(I read "The KNOT" too!)

First, when I saw the invitation - Black! I thought black! Black is for funerals!!! No one when I got married in 1974 would have had a black invitation(the outer sleeve was black-inside-black, white, pink-very pretty) I just received an invite for a dear friends son's wedding - guess what, BLACK! I guess black is the new white!( I looked on line and there are many black invites)

Next, at the tasting the coordinator suggest cutting the wedding cake and putting it in a little box for guess to take home.(What no cake? they serve pastries at the reception. It's like going to a birthday party with no cake. I was all set for the "cupcake cake", I actually like this but no cake, never heard of this) My future DIL is going to serve the cake at the reception.

Now I find out my future DIL(whom I love) is not throwing the bouquet or garter(son okay with this) instead there will an anniversary dance where the couple being married longest is left standing. Apparently, some couples are doing away with the "tosses" as they don't feel comfortable with it or don't find it necessary.

I'm not complaining, just saying and trying to keep up with this generation. It's their show and will be as they wish but it's all NEW to me!

My future DIL doesn't have a web site(I'm surprised) as many do.

Oh and for my "peers" who may not be as up on things as me(yeah..right! LOL)here's what "THE KNOT" is:

The Knot (www.theknot.com) is the number one wedding planning destination. Founded in 1996 to offer a ***much-needed alternative to the white-gloved, outdated advice of the available etiquette experts,*** The Knot has quickly become America's leading wedding brand reaching 8 out of 10 engaged couples each year through our award-winning website, mobile apps, magazines, books and broadcast platforms. (***say's them***- it was okay with me...LOL!)

Besides, I love my son and want him to come home frequently. I may be old but not stupid! I believe a happy wife makes a happy life and I want my son to be happy! I just say I love everything! At the bridal shower all the bridesmaids were telling me how much my future DIL talks about me and how they wish they had a MIL like me. I had a MIL and I want to be the MIL I wish I had!!!

Hope this made some of you laugh. I know some of you can identify with me!

Starr

[jackthebear]

Actually taking a piece of cake home is a good idea, thinking back to the weddings/bat and bar mitzvahs we have gone to the cake often goes uneaten. Plus no cake or cupcakes is probably much cheaper.

[Hayfield]

Yes, some wedding traditons will change over time and the couple who's getting married get to "plan their day, their way". I'll be 60 this year and I'm Italian and come from a big family and went to many, many weddings over the years. I don't think it matters whether you take the cake home or eat it at the reception. I also don't think it matters whether a bouquet or garter are thrown. The only tradition I think that still matters is writing Thank You notes. I sometimes don't get a Thank You note for the gift I give or going to the wedding, very rude. The most important thing is that the couple is happy, love each other and have a wonderful life together! Congratulations and enjoy the day!

[cosmic1]

Funny anecdote to share on when my maternal Grandmother was married back in the 1930's - she and my grandfather wore their Sunday clothes and after they were married, they rode around in the back of a truck to visit all the relatives. They had no reception and the wedding ceremony was very simple.

My paternal Grandmother did not have a 'wedding dress' either in her wedding photo. They just wore their Sunday best.

Traditions are always changing.

Starpolisher - congratulations on the big day for your son and future DIL and I hope everything goes perfectly!

[colliegirls]

I would not miss the throwing of the bouquet or garter, but I have been to "cupcake instead of cake" weddings. All I can say is "AWFUL"! Who wants a cupcake at such a special event?? Save the money from "save the date" cards which I think is a waste of money ( best friends know the date early anyway and people will either come or not), and get a real wedding cake!!

[violann]

My mother wore a street dress of Soldier Blue wool. They had a small family reception at a very nice local restaurant and went home to their new apartment- no honeymoon because my dad was an essential civilian defense worker and had to work Monday. When they got "home" my father walked around the corner and bought her a table radio so she could have it to listen to when he worked shifts, an almost impossible purchase in October 1942. It sure is a different world!

[Clover29]

I don't understand what OP is saying about the cake. The co-ordinator said to give the cake to guests to take home? But there is no cake, just pastries? But then the DIL is going to serve cake? Is there cake or isn't there? Is this about what other couples on the Knot are doing rather than what OP's son is doing?

[Lucky Charm]

On 7/7/2014 Clover29 said:

I don't understand what OP is saying about the cake. The co-ordinator said to give the cake to guests to take home? But there is no cake, just pastries? But then the DIL is going to serve cake? Is there cake or isn't there? Is this about what other couples on the Knot are doing rather than what OP's son is doing?

I think the coordinator suggested boxing the wedding cake for guests to take home and offering them pastries at the reception.

The OP would've liked a cupcake instead.

The bride is actually doing the traditional, cutting the cake at the reception for the guests to have.

[colliegirls]

Its been a long time since I have seen a receiving line at a wedding. I do feel the couple should go around and greet all the guests in some way.

[BellaPaprika]

Sounds like the OP is off to a good start with her future DIL. I've always said when (if) my son gets married, his bride will be the most intelligent, charming girl ever - or at least I'll act as if she is!