Community Chat

[hckynutjohn]

Along with the sending back the invitation, I would add my wishes to whomever signed the invitation. Can assure the chances of hearing from that person again would be slim. If I did I would tell that person how I really felt, and PC?  Not a chance.

Pretty obvious she/is way above me in the Social World.

[Winkk]

I agree that I think it was an oversight.  However, I also agree with your decision to decline.  Since you have not seen this cousin since he was a toddler it isn't that much of a dissapointment.  You should use your husband'a time off and do something fun.

[gabstoomuch]

In my opinion, if they did not take the time to find out my married last name, and I had not seen him since he was very young, I would feel like a "gift guest". It cost a lot of money to go to a wedding nowadays, and I am finding that more and more young people do not seem to know etiquette.

I would have declined even if they had gotten the invite correct. That is just me though.

You may have wanted to connect with extended family members who perhaps you had not seen in a long time (which is a benefit of a wedding for people you rarely see, others are there that you DO want to catch up with), but to not invite your husband by even adding "and guest" was just rude.

Hubby is free now for that weekend, make it fun somewhere else

[beach-mom]

I agree with those who think it was probably a mistake. You said HE is your cousin. Chances are SHE and her family and friends sent the invitations. But she would still get the information from his mother, and SHE should have known your situation. It's possible she just gave her future daughter-in-law an old list(?) IDK - If you're not that close to him OR his family, which I assume is an aunt and uncle, I would politely send my regrets, by signing my married name, and spend the time with your DH! 

[missy1]

I hope you addressed the reply back in large print that states your married name, as well as your husband's name.

[guatmum]

     I agree that it was probably an error by someone given the job of writing out invitations.  I would have contacted someone closer to the bride/groom before declining if I really wanted to go.  

      All of that being said, I completely disagree with inviting individual persons to a wedding.  EVERYONE, including those that are not married, should be given the opportunity to bring someone whether it be a friend or a romantic partner.  Though weddings are supposed to be "the bride's day," they also take most if not all of the day of each of the guests.  Going to a wedding IS expensive and to spend it alone simply because one has not joined "the married club" makes it miserable.  If the couple can't afford to let everyone bring someone, they need to pare down their list.  jmo

[jackthebear]

do brides/grooms farm out sending invitations? if so it is their responsiblity to be sure that addresses and names are correct. 

In this case declining the invitation is correct, she hasn't seen the person in 30 years probably won't again.

[Nataliesgramma]

If they can't take the time to find out your married name...I am sorry...I wouldn't find the time to buy a card or attend.....

[BabyYoda]

That was the right thing to do, not to go to the wedding.

[Anniecamp]

This happened to someone in my family recently, only it was a graduation announcement.  Sent it to her by her maiden name.  Did she get offended?  No!

OP said the cousin and she met up at a funeral.  I think it's nice to establish or re-establish contact with family, even though they've not had contact.

There were too many chances of a glitch in this to get so offended.  Maybe the bride's parents wrote the invitations, etc.  How are they supposed to know everything?  Especially when it comes to a guy giving the information. (Yes, I said it, but too often it's true.)

I can imagine the criticism if the invitation was written to "Mr and Mrs. maiden name".

Families often try to re-connect after many years, and they're usually glad that they did.  We have some family that we only see each other at weddings and funerals, and we love seeing each other!

I think that the OP had a knee-jerk reaction, thinking only about themselves, without checking to see if her husband was being omitted.

I wouldn't want someone that becomes that hostile over something so petty at my wedding, anyway.