Community Chat

[KathyPet]

Etiquette says anyone over 18 should get a separate invitation even if they reside with their parents. there is absolutely no REQUIREMENT that a guest be allowed to come along.

[CelticCrafter]

On 3/6/2015 GoodStuff said:

On 3/5/2015 missy1 said:

On 3/5/2015 Love my grandkids said:

There is NO reason why each invitee is asked to bring a Guest. A person whose food and refreshments must be paid for. Silly expectation IMO.

Invite a guest, have them pre-pay their meal in their rsvp.

Prepay their own meal?! Talk about faux pas.........

Wedding hosts invite the people they wish to accommodate and can accommodate.....and there are usually limits on space and resources. Often there are difficult choices to be made among family relations and close friends........let along trying to make room for miscellaneous guests of invitees! If you are invited to a wedding, you RSVP for yourself. You do NOT expect to bring additional people along!

This isn't even about bringing a guest, it's about a separate invitation being sent to an adult that doesn't live with her parents anymore.

Having said that, I'd be willing to bet my last dollar that friends will not be without dates, because that's the type of people they are. It's all about putting on a show to impress others.

This whole event has been a rude and tacky fest from the beginning. Shower was hosted by the mother of the bride and mother of the groom. The shower invitation stated that they would like gifts wrapped in CLEAR. I'm surprised cards were even opened, that the gifts weren't just held up and we were supposed to raise our hand if you gave me this.

If it weren't for the fact that the brides father is my husbands only sibling, I would seriously consider not going.

[goodstuff]

On 3/6/2015 CelticCrafter said:

On 3/6/2015 GoodStuff said:

On 3/5/2015 missy1 said:

On 3/5/2015 Love my grandkids said:

There is NO reason why each invitee is asked to bring a Guest. A person whose food and refreshments must be paid for. Silly expectation IMO.

Invite a guest, have them pre-pay their meal in their rsvp.

Prepay their own meal?! Talk about faux pas.........

Wedding hosts invite the people they wish to accommodate and can accommodate.....and there are usually limits on space and resources. Often there are difficult choices to be made among family relations and close friends........let along trying to make room for miscellaneous guests of invitees! If you are invited to a wedding, you RSVP for yourself. You do NOT expect to bring additional people along!

This isn't even about bringing a guest, it's about a separate invitation being sent to an adult that doesn't live with her parents anymore.

Having said that, I'd be willing to bet my last dollar that friends will not be without dates, because that's the type of people they are. It's all about putting on a show to impress others.

This whole event has been a rude and tacky fest from the beginning. Shower was hosted by the mother of the bride and mother of the groom. The shower invitation stated that they would like gifts wrapped in CLEAR. I'm surprised cards were even opened, that the gifts weren't just held up and we were supposed to raise our hand if you gave me this.

If it weren't for the fact that the brides father is my husbands only sibling, I would seriously consider not going.

If you feel you must attend the wedding because of the family connection, then go. If I were you, I'd plan to give a basic gift, RSVP (including your daughter's RSVP) in a timely fashion, put the date on your calendar, and forget about the rest. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from stewing about the invitation or the wedding couples' shortcomings.

[WenGirl42]

On 3/6/2015 CelticCrafter said:

On 3/6/2015 GoodStuff said:

On 3/5/2015 missy1 said:

On 3/5/2015 Love my grandkids said:

There is NO reason why each invitee is asked to bring a Guest. A person whose food and refreshments must be paid for. Silly expectation IMO.

Invite a guest, have them pre-pay their meal in their rsvp.

Prepay their own meal?! Talk about faux pas.........

Wedding hosts invite the people they wish to accommodate and can accommodate.....and there are usually limits on space and resources. Often there are difficult choices to be made among family relations and close friends........let along trying to make room for miscellaneous guests of invitees! If you are invited to a wedding, you RSVP for yourself. You do NOT expect to bring additional people along!

This isn't even about bringing a guest, it's about a separate invitation being sent to an adult that doesn't live with her parents anymore.

Having said that, I'd be willing to bet my last dollar that friends will not be without dates, because that's the type of people they are. It's all about putting on a show to impress others.

This whole event has been a rude and tacky fest from the beginning. Shower was hosted by the mother of the bride and mother of the groom. The shower invitation stated that they would like gifts wrapped in CLEAR. I'm surprised cards were even opened, that the gifts weren't just held up and we were supposed to raise our hand if you gave me this.

If it weren't for the fact that the brides father is my husbands only sibling, I would seriously consider not going.

Oh. So it isn't really about where the invitation was sent either. It's about the bolded piece above.

Well, it should make you feel better that most of us agree that including your daughter on your invitation was, technically, a breach of wedding etiquette.

[Ms X]

I think if you all live at the same address that was the best way to do it.

[colliegirls]

No one HAS to go to a wedding. If you think it's so bad, send your husband alone.

[Toppers]

It could be entirely possible that when your niece addressed the envelope, she was simply thinking of your family as literally just one family unit, and that is how she sent your invitation.

It's also possible that she didn't have any kind of guidance on how to address the wedding invitation envelopes, so she did the best that she could, as to how to address them.

Those are my thoughts about it.

I believe that I probably made some social blunders when I addressed mine years ago when I was going to be married, as I was roundly criticized by a family member when theirs was received, rather than supported and guided by them, which I would have personally appreciated instead.

[guatmum]

As someone who is single, I never attend a wedding for which I'm not allowed to bring a guest. Too many times singles are treated like slightly older children and are often relegated to a table of other strangers rather than giving them a chance to at least sit with family. Most of the time they are treated as the odd one out with the excuse that the bride put them at an odd table to "meet" people. But it is just that, an excuse. Whenever this has happened to me, I just politely declined the invitation and sent a modest gift. Btw, the idea that guests should feel honored to be invited is backwards imo. Couples should feel honored that a guest would give up their day to watch two people get married. If a couple is not close enough to a possible guest to know his/her address, to me it seems like they're trying to fill a seat and there's nothing for that distant relation or acquaintance to feel honored about. Don't misunderstand. I love attending weddings, birthday parties, and other celebrations of close friends, but that's because they mean something to me and I mean something to them. Otherwise it's a wasted day for a guest.

[Cakers1]

It is amazing that some people are so self-absorbed that they truly believe somebody else's wedding (or anything else) is all about them and not about the people who are actually having the wedding (or anything else).

People yammering about how an invite is sent, or to whom, or where the event is being held - ftlog. Just say "no" and don't go.

My post is not a response to any particular post, btw.

[ROMARY]

Thinking this over, the choice is O/P's. If she wishes to be sensitive about it, then she should decide whether or not she will attend the wedding (in a cheerful manner). I sure wouldn't make a big deal about it at the wedding, ruining the Bride and Groom's day. And who knows exactly who wrote and sent the invitations. Could be a family member, helping out. Maybe even the groom's side of the family. Could be that they are co-paying for the event. All kinds of possibilities. I've attended weddings where the groom's family paid and seemed in charge, and everyone seemed very happy and grateful. Wishing all well. And, hopefully O/P and her daughter will move on, not being stuck in someone else's possible 'mistake' or unintended lack of 'manners', etc. p.s. I've received very 'different' types of invitations now-a-days. Not traditional at all. From highly professional folks, too. It's just a different era we're living (in).