Wedding Invite - Page 3

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

I don't think you're being overly sensitive by thinking your daughter should have received an invitation of her own at her own address. She should have. Also, many wedding invites lately do not include a guest for the single invitees.

Cakers1 · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/5/2015 CardinalGirl said:
Definitely over sensitive. Yes, the bride should have taken the time to inquire about her cousin's address and mailed her her own invitation. But, really--is it really such a big deal? Just be honored that she wants the three of you to be a part of her special day.

I hope you have the good taste not to mention it to anyone that may spread the word to the bride or her parents.

^^^This.

It's an invitation and honestly the wedding isn't about this.

Now if it had to do with thank you cards..........lol.

WenGirl42 · ‎07-05-2012

On 3/5/2015 brii said:
On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
On 3/5/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/5/2015 brii said:
I'm guessing the invite doesn't include a date for the daughter.

It doesn't have to, does it?

But it would have if it had been sent to her at her own address as she is an adult and most likely would like to bring an escort.

I think that's why she was included on her parents' invitation.

I agree. The single invitation suggests she is being invited as part of this family unit with the assumption being that her parents will be her "escorts." This way they are inviting 3 people instead of 4 and sometimes every guest counts! Unless the daughter is engaged/married herself, or in a long-standing relationship where the bride interacts with them as a couple, I think it's fine to handle the invitations this way.

BellaPaprika · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/5/2015 WenGirl42 said:
On 3/5/2015 brii said:
I think that's why she was included on her parents' invitation.

I agree. The single invitation suggests she is being invited as part of this family unit with the assumption being that her parents will be her "escorts." This way they are inviting 3 people instead of 4 and sometimes every guest counts! Unless the daughter is engaged/married herself, or in a long-standing relationship where the bride interacts with them as a couple, I think it's fine to handle the invitations this way.

You may well be right that this is to keep the guest list down but then it would have been better to just invite the parents. What is the cut off age for being included with your original family unit? If you're over 30 do you get your own invitation? Does she check with the guest to determine if they are now involved or living with someone? The more I think about it, it seems so tacky. I think if you choose to invite a single person you have to assume they will bring a guest so if you're trying to keep numbers down have that in mind.

WenGirl42 · ‎07-05-2012

On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
On 3/5/2015 WenGirl42 said:
On 3/5/2015 brii said:
I think that's why she was included on her parents' invitation.

I agree. The single invitation suggests she is being invited as part of this family unit with the assumption being that her parents will be her "escorts." This way they are inviting 3 people instead of 4 and sometimes every guest counts! Unless the daughter is engaged/married herself, or in a long-standing relationship where the bride interacts with them as a couple, I think it's fine to handle the invitations this way.

You may well be right that this is to keep the guest list down but then it would have been better to just invite the parents. What is the cut off age for being included with your original family unit? If you're over 30 do you get your own invitation? Does she check with the guest to determine if they are now involved or living with someone? The more I think about it, it seems so tacky. I think if you choose to invite a single person you have to assume they will bring a guest so if you're trying to keep numbers down have that in mind.

Well she must want her cousin there, which I think is nice. But like I said, unless she knows/is involved with the person the cousin is dating, it's not necessary to invite him or her. I mean it wouldn't really be necessary then either, because people are free to include or not whomever they wish at their weddings. And invited guests are free to decide to attend or not. Whether this is a nicer or more proper way to achieve that than sending her her own single invitation (not including a guest) is something I don't really have a strong opinion about...I agree with you it's more gracious when inviting a single adult to an occasion like a wedding it's nice if you let them bring somebody with them, but I understand why people don't. Most people aren't willing these days to make the tradeoff between what they can afford (or the limitations of the space they have chosen) and whom ettiquette dictates they invite, so they try to get away with cutting corners like this. Tacky is a good word for it. Personally, if I were the OP I would think it was odd, but I wouldn't be upset about it...if I were, I would just send a nice, modest gift and decline to attend.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

When my baby brother was born, my mom sent a birth announcement to my father's mother and aunt to the same address (they lived together right in back of us). They were livid that they didn't get separate announcements and stopped talking to my parents altogether.

Horribly, my father's mother died a few years later and no one in the family told him. He went to work on Monday as usual, and his buddies were cruel to him, saying "now we believe what your family says about you, you didn't even go to your own mother's funeral." My father was stunned beyond belief and totally devastated. He told them he never knew! He ran home and to the house in back of us and I remember the screaming and some punches were thrown. It was very frightening, they were all yelling in Italian and even my mother did not know what had happened until later.

We had to move out then because the aunt owned the cottage we lived in. The rift lasted until I was eighteen years old (I was seven when the birth announcement incident happened).

Although they made peace of a sort, there was never any closeness in that family from then on, not that there ever really was. I think we saw my one cousin (the only one we had) twice after that.

All over nothing, and obviously everyone's dead now. If that doesn't prove the old adage about not sweating the small stuff, I don't know what does.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

On 3/5/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/5/2015 brii said:
I'm guessing the invite doesn't include a date for the daughter.

It doesn't have to, does it?

Unless the envelope says "and guest", no guest is included in the invitation.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

They might not know her address. (I haven't had time to read all of the comments.) Anyway, I'd just let it go, make a copy and send it to your daughter. This shouldn't bother you or take up much, if any, of your time thinking (about). It's very nice that they included your daughter in the invitation. Smile Try to think positive in this matter. p.s. They might have done the same with several other cousins.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

BellaPaprika · ‎03-09-2010

But, Ford, in this case the daughter does not live with her parents. Different situation. But I agree that I would not get upset over it. I would just chalk it up to people's increasingly ignorant behavior. And I would call my niece and tell her that I would contact my daughter for her (making it clear that she lives elsewhere) and that if she can come she will of course be bringing an escort. LOL.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
But, Ford, in this case the daughter does not live with her parents. Different situation. But I agree that I would not get upset over it. I would just chalk it up to people's increasingly ignorant behavior. And I would call my niece and tell her that I would contact my daughter for her (making it clear that she lives elsewhere) and that if she can come she will of course be bringing an escort. LOL.

Having recently been involved in a wedding, DO NOT EXPECT OR ASK TO BRING A GUEST UNLESS THEY ARE INVITED!! PERIOD!!