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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,481
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Sounds like your invitation is not an invitation but rather announcement.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,801
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

[ Edited ]

Many couples do not have a wedding reception.  They just have a church ceremony.  You receive a wedding invitation only.

 

Most couples have a wedding ceremony and a reception after.  The invitations  should be sent out for the wedding ceremony.  Included in the envelope should be another invitation to the reception.  Sometimes a response card is enclosed to RSVP with a stamped envelope.   There might also be a card to choose your dinner entree.

 

Then too, some couples print something on the bottom of the invite saying...reception following the ceremony at.....  which seems to be a accepted, but not for a formal affair.

 

If there is no return RSVP enclosed, you should respond by mail.

 

If the couple is inviting guests to the reception only, they should not receive an invitation to the ceremony.  It Is not proper to send an invite and put a note in it, saying..never mind, you are only invited to the reception.

 

I am amazed at the lack of proper manners today.  I have received a few wedding invitations address to John and Susan Doe, instead of Mr and Mrs. John Doe and the envelope was addressed in large letters for the name and very small letters/numbers for the address in sloppy 1st grade penmanship.  These came from college grads!

 

my sister received a baby shower invite by e-mail with a respond button on it where you could accept or decline.  That would be okay for a casual backyard BBQ, but not a shower.  Sheesh.

 

i guess this sloppy way of doing things is the new norm.  

 

To the OP.  If you received a wedding invitation to the ceremony and there is nothing else in the envelope suggesting you are not invited.. you should consider yourself invited and go if you wish.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,801
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion


@qbetzforrealwrote:

Sounds like your invitation is not an invitation but rather announcement.


Announcements are sent out the  day after the wedding ceremony, not before.  Well, they are supposed to anyway.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion


@sunshine45wrote:

 

 

i dont see this as a "gift grab" at all. (lol, how i hate that term......i only first heard it on THESE forums.) weddings/baby showers/receptions always make the "best"  threads.


 

I've never heard the term "gift grab" anywhere other than here on these forums.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

[ Edited ]

This couple really made things more difficult for themselves than they needed to be.  Not to mention annoying and confusing to guests.

 

All they had to do was have invitations printed with details for the reception, and send those out to everyone.  Then a small card/invitation enclosed, just for guests they wanted to invite to the ceremony also.  Easy and not at all expensive.

 

No details re time and place should be given to anyone for an event they are NOT invited to.  That makes no sense on any level, and is easily avoided.  The convoluted way they went about this was unnecessarily complicated and confusing.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,124
Registered: ‎07-05-2012

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

[ Edited ]

@NYC Susanwrote:

This couple really made things more difficult for themselves than they needed to be.  Not to mention annoying and confusing to guests.

 

All they had to do was have invitations printed with details for the reception, and send those out to everyone.  Then a small card/invitation enclosed, just for guests they wanted to invite to the ceremony also.  Easy and not at all expensive.

 

No details re time and place should be given to anyone for an event they are NOT invited to.  That makes no sense on any level, and is easily avoided.  The convoluted way they went about this was unnecessarily complicated and confusing.


ITA, and that is why I think people are making it much more complicated than it actually is. When one receives an invitation to an event, one is invited to that event. It's right there in the word Woman Wink

 

I do think the website announcement was an inane way to try to accomplish what the couple is trying to accomplish, and it doesn't even appear to accurately convey the situation. Specific invitations would really be the only way that made sense. Or in the case of a change in circumstance after they'd gone out (like the fire another poster mentioned), phone calls with an explanation, an apology, and a warm invitation to the added cocktail hour are the only solution.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,358
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Talking about weddings, what is the general rule of thumb for sending thanks you notes.

We went to a wedding Memorial Day last year and no thank you as yet. Our check was deposited with in 48 hours of the wedding.

The bride is the daughter of and old and dear friend, but I think the lack of a thank you is manner less

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,515
Registered: ‎03-02-2016

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

I'm with the others that stated you are not invited to the wedding ceremony. You didn't receive the additional note so just go to the reception. Not that confusing really.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,351
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

[ Edited ]

@I am still oxoxwrote:

Talking about weddings, what is the general rule of thumb for sending thanks you notes.

We went to a wedding Memorial Day last year and no thank you as yet. Our check was deposited with in 48 hours of the wedding.

The bride is the daughter of and old and dear friend, but I think the lack of a thank you is manner less


Honestly, at this point I'm thinking you won't be getting one.

 

Bet you get an invite to the baby shower tho...

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,051
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

@NYC Susan  I think the first time I saw it used was in a Miss Manners column.