Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,894
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion


@Daisy Sunflowerwrote:

@missy1wrote:

I would not attend, if I was just invited to the reception, Very tacky invitation!!


 

At first I said I'd be glad that I was only invited to the reception, but I think it's not right to separate guests into two groups. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't attend the reception either.


Suppose it was a destination wedding and they had their reception when they returned. Would you find that acceptable?

 

A bride may want to get married in the church she and her family has always belonged and it can only accommodate 100 guests. Would you rather be excluded entirely or just included in the reception?

Personally, it's the reception I prefer to attend and have skipped the ceremony on more than one occasion. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,040
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

I agree with the others here - you aren't invited to the ceremony. But what a strange invitation. It would have been so much better if they had just sent out an invitation inviting family and friends to the reception (and not even mention the ceremony) - the close family members invited to the wedding know who they are.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion


@occasionalrainwrote:

Wedding announcements allow those receiving them to know the new name of female relatives assuming they decide to take their husband's last name and address. It's not a gift grab. 

 

A gift grab is inviting those you barely know, haven't seen or spoken to since you can't remember when, and those you know won't or can't attend but will feel obligated to send a gift.


 

 

I could see if this was an elope/justice of the peace situation. If I was not invited to the wedding, but I am sent a card to tell me about the wedding (after the fact) then I am not that good of friends. Why bother to let me know? Why can't the couple email their announcements instead of having a big production of printed formal  announcements sent? IMO this is a gift grab.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

[ Edited ]

@occasionalrainwrote:

@Daisy Sunflowerwrote:

@missy1wrote:

I would not attend, if I was just invited to the reception, Very tacky invitation!!


 

At first I said I'd be glad that I was only invited to the reception, but I think it's not right to separate guests into two groups. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't attend the reception either.


Suppose it was a destination wedding and they had their reception when they returned. Would you find that acceptable?

 

A bride may want to get married in the church she and her family has always belonged and it can only accommodate 100 guests. Would you rather be excluded entirely or just included in the reception?

Personally, it's the reception I prefer to attend and have skipped the ceremony on more than one occasion. 


 

I would attend the destination reception. I would not attend the other wedding reception mentioned.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion


@Carmiewrote:

@missy1wrote:

@Carmiewrote:

@qbetzforrealwrote:

Sounds like your invitation is not an invitation but rather announcement.


Announcements are sent out the  day after the wedding ceremony, not before.  Well, they are supposed to anyway.


 

 

People send out wedding announcements? For gift grab. Sorry we had our wedding already. I have never received one of those in the mail. Always invited to wedding/reception.


Marriage  announcements have been  sent out forever.  They are not new.

I have received them from time to time, even from close family members who eloped and family and friends who live too far for me to attend their wedding.

 

Anouncements are sent out for graduations and births too. They are a token of good manners and not a gift grab.  There is no obligation to send a gift if you receive a wedding announcement. You should send a gift if you receive an invitation to the ceremony or reception.

 

Just  because you do not do something, or never heard of it does not make it bad manners or a gift grab.  

 

These things have been socially acceptable for a long, long time.

 

 


You're right.  Not only are announcements not new, but they were much more common "back in the day".  Many people have abandoned the practice, but it's appropriate to send them for several different types of occasions, as you said: graduations, births of babies, engagements, weddings, etc.

 

I don't see them as gift grabs.  I see them as people sharing their good news.  If I'm so inclined, depending on the relationship, I might send a gift.  Or sometimes a card with warm wishes.  No one is required to send anything if they don't want to.   I've never been made to feel that I had to send something or that there was an ulterior motive.

 

It's absolutely true that announcements are socially acceptable, and have been for a very long time.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,237
Registered: ‎03-29-2011

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

[ Edited ]

My husband and I were married at the church his college campus.  My relatives lived about 650 miles away, many of his lived about 900 miles away. My father chartered buses for both families to attend.  Still, we did not invite extended family and friends.

 

After the wedding, my parents sent announcements.  They did the same thing the year before when my sister married at the same church. It's just what was done in 1970 & 1971. Some people acknowledged our marriage with a gift, while others sent a card.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,373
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion


@Daisy Sunflowerwrote:

@missy1wrote:

I would not attend, if I was just invited to the reception, Very tacky invitation!!


 

At first I said I'd be glad that I was only invited to the reception, but I think it's not right to separate guests into two groups. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't attend the reception either.


I think if I was somehow informed that the invitation I received - specifically inviting me to the ceremony - wasn't "really" inviting me to the ceremony (that I should have received a "note" inviting me - otherwise I was just to go to the reception), I wouldn't go to either.  Although, I do realize that people these days are significantly challenged when it comes to clear communication - still, this is beyond rude.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,953
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

That is a terrible choice for an invitation.  There should have been separate invites for the reception only.  People are crazy!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

As someone here mentioned,  and I'm only guessing: Not every single person is going to check the wedding website.  That could be a problem (for the bride and groom and close family). 

 

I believe that O/P isn't invited to the ceremony, and I'd probably just attend the reception, dinner, etc. 

 

 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,469
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

I don't mean to sound like Sophia Petrillo from the Golden Girls...... when did getting invited to weddings get so complicated. 

 

Image result for petrillo golden girls

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise