Community Chat

[petepetey]

Our family was just invited to a nephew's wedding later this spring. 

On their web site it states that the ceremony space is too small for all the guest

so unless you have a note in the invitation you are not going to the ceremony

but go straight to a cocktail reception and then on to dinner.

Our invitation does not have a note. It does have the time engraved and the location

for the ceremony and on to all the other stuff(dinner,dance etc.)

So, the web site could be wrong? or the invitations are different to those not invited

to the ceremony? 

To me it means we aren't invited to the ceremony.

Either way it doesn't matter to us but I would hate to miss the ceremony if they saved space for us to attend. 

Now I guess we have to ask the family what they mean. 

[Laura14]

I would guess you are right.  No note, no ceremony,  

[chrystaltree]

It's as straight foward as it can possibly be.  You didn't get the "note" so you aren't invited to the ceremony.  Please do not put the family in an uncomfortable position and embarrass youself by asking.  

[camelot]

No harm in asking. Communicate & find out.   

[beckyb1012]

No ceremony for sure regarding your invite.  I would imagine there will be a very small amount of invites to the ceremony.  Mainly siblings, grandparents, ect.....

You will have a great time seeing all of the relatives, blessings to the Bride and Groom on their speical day.

[petepetey]

As I said in the OP, I am just fine not being invited to the ceremony---no stress

just on to the drinks and party!

However, if they saved the space for us to be there I wouldn't want to disappoint. 

With today's easy to create wedding invites, why not just make a version for those

going to the ceremony and one for those not?

[Peaches McPhee]

Agree with the others.  You are not invited to the ceremony. 

Darn silly way to do the invites, though.  They should have printed 2 separate invites.  What if you did not check the website?  I am not sure I would have, so I'd have shown up to the ceremony plain as day.

[occasionalrain]

The invitation was poorly written. Those not wanted at the ceremony should have been invited only to the cocktail party and dinner following the private ceremony. Not everyone receiving an invitation will visit their website and think they are invited to the ceremony. 

The small venue excuse was unnecessary. 

[Kitlynn]

I would say if you don't have a note you are not invited to the ceremony. A lot of times people pick churches or venues for their ceremony that will not accommodate the number of guest they have invited. My personal opinion is if you don't have room for your guest then you need to not send out invitations to people. This to me is just chumming for a wedding present. I know this sounds rude but I would feel like if I wasn't important enough to be at the ceremony then I wouldn't be important enough to participate in the rest of the event.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

@petepeteyYou understood accurately.  You aren't invited to the ceremony.  Personally I think that's rather tacky on their part.  They should have selected a venue that would accommodate the entire guest list.  JMO

I agree with @chrystaltree - PLEASE do not contact anyone, asking for clarification.  It does put someone on the spot and it will embarrass you in the process.  When my DH and I were about to be married, our invitations went out at the appropriate time to everyone one we hoped would attend.  A day or two before the wedding, someone we both knew, but was intentionally not invited, called him asking if her invitation got lost in the mail.  That was both awkward and uncomfortable.