Community Chat

[Arianny]

Hi all.  So I am attending my cousin's wedding this weekend.  I am going to give a check as the gift from me and my "plus 1".  I am planning on giving $200.  I think that's plenty, but others have told me the standard now is $350-$400.  I think that's way too much.  What do you all think?  Is $200 enough?  I am close with this cousin, as well as all of my cousins, but I just think $400 is way over the top. Appreciate your opinions.

[faeriemoon]

You should give what you feel is appropriate, not what others think is appropriate or expected.

[SahmIam]

@Arianny  You give what you can AFFORD and NOTHING MORE. Anyone who tells you it's the "standard" is a fool.....and you know what they say about fools and their money, right?

There is no "standard". There is greed, there is money-grabbing and there are those who love to impress but there is no "standard".  People need to remember this in all aspect of life: do what YOU can afford to do and what YOU feel comfortable with. 

Hugs.

[Shanus]

I think the $200 gift is very generous. Giving more is over the top. I have read that if giving a cash gift, it should definitely cover what you think is the cost per guest & then add "some". You also have to consider your personal budget. BTW, if you aren't able to give an ample cash gift, your hosts should understand and just be happy that you were able to attend. 

[colliegirls]

That is more than enough, I feel even $100. is just fine.  It is really up to you and what you feel is comfortable.

 Unless you are their parents or grown sibling, I think anything over $200 is excessive.

[bri20]

Give what you can afford and are comfortable with.   There's no rule 

[Lilysmom]

@Arianny, $200 is a generous gift.  LM

[Mominohio]

This kind of question comes up here every so often, and the responses are as varied as the situations.

In general it depends on a number of things,  just what the 'appropriate' or 'standard' gift is for a wedding, birth, graduation etc. 

It depends on the 'circle' in which you are living. Some people and families are simply much wealthier than others, so that has some precedence in what is deemed 'standard'. The standard in one family would be considered extremely generous in another, or completely unaffordable in others.

How close you are to the person you will be gifting. Generally, the closer the relationship, the higher the amount you will be expected or want to give, in most circumstances. One would most likely give more to a sibling or cousin getting married than a business associate.

What you WANT to give. Appropriate, standard or not, you may really want to give more (or less) to someone for any number of reasons that you don't have to explain here or elsewhere.

But most important is what you can AFFORD to give, coupled with what will make you comfortable. I find that what is within my 'affordable' range might not be what I WANT to give, and I will sometimes go over that limit, because of how much I love/admire the person to whom I am gifting.

I can understand not wanting to appear a cheapskate, but in reality, a gift is just that, a gift. It is not something someone should have expectations about receiving because they have invited you to a function. Unfortunately it has turned into that, but just don't get caught up in it.

[beckyb1012]

The $200.00 is extremely generous and I would think $50.00 to $100.00 would be more in line for a cash gift.  Cousins are like siblings and best friends all rolled into one sweet person so do what is in your heart and fine with your budget.

[on the bay]

So many good answers!

My first thought was , "wow, that's a lot and very generous!" or maybe gulp-$200?!

But like others said, I guess it depends on what you are comfortable with.

I usually think for me anyway, $100 is a good and generous gift that I am proud and happy to give to those that are close(family and very close friends).

Money is always appreciated I know but if they have a registry, I'd rather chose from that.