Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,736
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: We made the right decision....

If you care about this woman and her problems........ I see nothing wrong with having a heart to heart with her. Maybe no one has cared enough to do that.


 I noticed you seemed very relieved you didn't have to be around her and were thankful you had an excuse not to go.  If it has gotten this bad for you, I don't see how a friendship like that can survive much longer.  She will probably get worse the older she gets and, at some point, may become intolerable to you. From what you say it is already about there.


 I would speak gently with her. Tell her that you value your relationship and what needs to happen for that to continue.  You might be doing her a big favor and if you do it out of love and caring.....she may thank you some day.  If it alienates her....than at least you did everything you could to save the relationship. It takes 2 people working together to form a friendship....not 2 people where one just barely tolerates the other. That is not the basis for a solid friendship. 


Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,010
Registered: ‎08-29-2010

Re: We made the right decision....

eat them too.jpg

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,684
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

Re: We made the right decision....

@IamMrsG wrote:

@chrystaltree  I am not interested in being embroiled in an unfriendly exchange with you.  Let's not be unpleasant with each other.


Please accept that I made no attempt to accost you in my response to your description of the woman and your friendship with her.  My opinion was based solely on the words you chose (and I repeated) to describe the relationship.  In that light, your comment to me, "It appears that you are a little foggy as to what being a friend entails," felt snide and uncalled for.  

@IamMrsG  I agree with you 100%  The OP asks us what would we do if someone called us up and told us not to come to her party  if they are going to complain about the food.  Then she proceeds to explain how difficult this woman is etc.  When we answer her on what WE would do, well, then we are foggy about what  being a friend entails. 


I guess the OP wanted us to all pat her on the back for being so loyal to someone that obviously has mental issues or in the very least, an eating disorder.  Well, good for the OP if she wants to stand by this woman and skirt around the problems that she has.  I would say that is foggy about what being a friend is.  Twenty years of putting up with such nonsense.  Maybe if something would have been said a long time ago, this woman would have solved her problems and could be living a happier life. 



Fear not Brothers and Sisters! I have read THE BOOK..........we win!!!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,839
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: We made the right decision....

She sounds way too "uppity" for my down to earth world. lol. I wouldnt hang out with someone like that. And complaining about weight when she wears a size 2? Pfffff.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles