Community Chat

[croemer]

Well I stand behind your good points Marianne and agree for what that is worth.

[QueenDanceALot]

On 2/18/2014 Marianne is complicated said:

Kitty-- if they have been employed for many years-- they have a skill set and an employment history, right?

I am done fighting this.

I was just giving a pov, not belittling anyone else.

Many are finding that their skills are no longer useful in the current job market.

I thought you would know that.

Not fighting, Marianne, but you did ask me to justify my opinions, which is what I was doing.

[Catitude]

On 2/18/2014 Marianne is complicated said:

Kitty-- if they have been employed for many years-- they have a skill set and an employment history, right?

I am done fighting this.

I was just giving a pov, not belittling anyone else.

Marianne, I totally agree with you. You're making perfect sense.

The OP has been married her entire adult life, has been supported financially by her husband who was the main bread winner and doesn't have the skills, the experience, the knowledge that someone who has been single a long time (like Kitty) has developed.

It shouldn't even be an argument.

[QueenDanceALot]

I suspect that some women who have been married for many years don't understand what single women deal with, just as single women may not fully understand long time married women's issues.

We all have them.

[Marianne1]

I was single, married, single with 2 babies for years and then married again.

I can see if from many directions.

[Milfy]

By the many responses on this thread I think a lot of people can relate to you.

[Catitude]

On 2/18/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 2/18/2014 Marianne is complicated said:

Kitty-- if they have been employed for many years-- they have a skill set and an employment history, right?

I am done fighting this.

I was just giving a pov, not belittling anyone else.

Many are finding that their skills are no longer useful in the current job market.

I thought you would know that.

Not fighting, Marianne, but you did ask me to justify my opinions, which is what I was doing.

It's hard for both single and married woman close to 60 (like the OP) to find a job and support themselves. How do you expect her to go out and work full time in this economy with limited skills? Especially since admittedly she likes to shop and has been a stay at home Mom and "didn't have to work." She will have to change her lifestyle dramatically since she is accustomed to things that perhaps you aren't.That's why she needs a lawyer if she is serious about this. She might have to sell the marital home, divide up their assets, seek financial support from her husband, etc.

Stats show a high percentage of women over 65 that are single are living near or at poverty level.

[Catitude]

On 2/18/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

I suspect that some women who have been married for many years don't understand what single women deal with, just as single women may not fully understand long time married women's issues.

We all have them.

On the contrary, I believe you expect married women to make it, because you have made it alone. You're used to being single and self reliant. How could you even compare what you're doing to someone fresh out of a divorce? They need time to adapt, to learn, to become adjusted and at the OP's age that will take longer to do than someone who was single or became single in their 20's, 30's or even 40's.

[QueenDanceALot]

On 2/18/2014 Opurrra said:

On 2/18/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

I suspect that some women who have been married for many years don't understand what single women deal with, just as single women may not fully understand long time married women's issues.

We all have them.

On the contrary, I believe you expect married women to make it, because you have made it alone. You're used to being single and self reliant. How could you even compare what you're doing to someone fresh out of a divorce? They need time to adapt, to learn, to become adjusted and at the OP's age that will take longer to do than someone who was single or becam single in their 20's, 30's or even 40's.

You know nothing about me or my life or what I "expect" married women to do.

I had an opinion about the OP's situation.

That's it!

[Marianne1]

On 2/18/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 2/18/2014 Marianne is complicated said:

Kitty-- if they have been employed for many years-- they have a skill set and an employment history, right?

I am done fighting this.

I was just giving a pov, not belittling anyone else.

Many are finding that their skills are no longer useful in the current job market.

I thought you would know that.

Not fighting, Marianne, but you did ask me to justify my opinions, which is what I was doing.

And if you are going to say things like the line I bolded, it is difficult to believe you.

I do "know that". But at least they have some work history, and most likely unemployment resources to gain a new skill that will make them marketable. A middle aged or older woman entering the workforce for the first time, has neither.

I am not saying it is an impossible hurdle-- I NEVER said that, what I did say was that just leaving a marriage is not always that simple of a decision, and one that should not be taken lightly.