WOW, funeral costs now a days - Page 13

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

I should add that people with low incomes should check with social services ahead and see if they are eligible for any free funeral services.

cater · ‎03-10-2010

Since we are discussing this subject what I think is worse is when you go to the cemetery and you look down in the grave and you see water, yes water and you know your family member is going to be laid to rest in that water even with the vault. All our cemeterys in our area all have water when the graves are dug. The only one that is water free is the one my husband is buried at. That feels good for us but the one where my parents, aunts and uncles, cousins are all buried in graves the have water in them . We have so many cemeteries in our area but they all have water. So no matter how much money people spend our beloved people are laying in water. graves. That never leaves my mind.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@cater wrote:
Since we are discussing this subject what I think is worse is when you go to the cemetery and you look down in the grave and you see water, yes water and you know your family member is going to be laid to rest in that water even with the vault. All our cemeterys in our area all have water when the graves are dug. The only one that is water free is the one my husband is buried at. That feels good for us but the one where my parents, aunts and uncles, cousins are all buried in graves the have water in them . We have so many cemeteries in our area but they all have water. So no matter how much money people spend our beloved people are laying in water. graves. That never leaves my mind.

I have never seen down into a grave as they always put that fake grass over the hole. I will say that every cemetary I have ever been to around Pittsburgh are on hillsides. Certainly no water there since water seeks a low point. I think all the graves that are down on the lower, level spots were used up hundreds of years ago.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Bestdressed - and it is all done very quickly after death so the body goes on to the funeral home and the funeral proceeds exactly the same as if the donation of organs had not occured.

Actually, the transplant co ordinaters are the people who come and discuss the potential for donation with the family and then if the family agrees , they stay with the family throughout the remainder of the process. They are so wonderful and have been very well trained in dealing with the families emotional needs thru this process. This allows the docotrs and nurses to do what they need to do to care for the patient while the transplant coordinator deals with the family. Sometimes it is difficult for the family to see us removing the drugs, IVs and other things that they know are keeping their loved one alive and the coordinators help them through that. We also had a great rabbi as our chaplin where I worked. No matter what the person's religion was - he was very good at assisting families at this time.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@brii wrote:
@151949 wrote:
Brii - my father was one of 16 children so , believe me when I say - I have a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins. I have been to A LOT of funerals in my 66 years and have NEVER seen one where the casket is lowered into the grave while the visitors are still present.As a matter of fact , there is a fake grass over the opening so you don't see the opening and the cement box during the graveside service at every single one I have ever been to, in numerous parts of the US and abroad.
My father in law had a graveside service. He passed just 2 years ago.

The family requested it. It's not common, but it's allowed. The priest says a few things when everyone gathers around. As people are getting out of their cars at the cemetery, the funeral director hands everyone a rose. Right before the casket is lowered, the pall bearers place their gloves on the casket and everyone places their rose on top of the gloves.

The casket is lowered, the cover is placed on the cement box, and the cemetery workers throw the dirt in the hole.

I was hesitant about it, but it actually is quite a beautiful ceremony.

It is my understanding that in many parts of Appalachia, caskets are still lowered into the ground during burial ceremonies. I have a friend from the mountains of Virginia, and she has seen it often, in little hillside cemeteries in that area.

Everyone has their preferences, but it seems kind of natural to me. (maybe I watch too many movies).

HisElk · ‎09-30-2012

@brii wrote:
@151949 wrote:
When you buy a casket from a funeral home it is bought from them - the cemetary is who opens the grave and puts in the cement lockbox. So - one really has little to do with the other as they are 2 separate businesses. Also, cemetaries do not actually lower the casket into the grave until after everyone has left, so I doubt the family was "trying to push the casket into the grave".
Yes, you can get a graveside service and watch the casket being lowered into the ground.

brii, you are absolutely correct. My dear father passed in 1999 and we had a service at the gravesite. Afterwards, the immediate family stayed to watch his casket lowered into the ground and covered.

shamalamadingdong4 · ‎12-12-2010

I've been to several funerals where the casket was lowered into the ground while mourners were still there. At some burials, mourners even shoveled dirt into the grave. It's a way to have closure.

HisElk · ‎09-30-2012

@shamalamadingdong4 wrote:
I've been to several funerals where the casket was lowered into the ground while mourners were still there. At some burials, mourners even shoveled dirt into the grave. It's a way to have closure.

Thank you. It does help to give closure.

brii · ‎06-20-2010

Yes, closure is a good way to describe it.

It's not something I would have chosen, but it was very meaningful.

By the way, the funeral director said many people choose to see their loved ones lowered into the ground as a way of making sure that it really was their loved one going into that particular grave. He said a lot of people don't trust what happens once the casket is out of sight. I thought that was interesting...

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

@shamalamadingdong4 wrote:
I've been to several funerals where the casket was lowered into the ground while mourners were still there. At some burials, mourners even shoveled dirt into the grave. It's a way to have closure.

We've done this at the funerals of our Jewish friends.