Community Chat

[151949]

I have finally gotten my DH to speak to someone about preplanning our funerals. My parents had done this and when they were killed in a car accident it was truly a blessing to me that they had done this. That was 24 years ago. At that time when they did their preplanning they took out life insurance policies that were payable to the funeral home and that paid for the funerals, the mausoleum they chose etc.  DH had paid for both his parents funerals out of their life ins but that was 35 years ago. SO we were shocked at the costs now a days. We already had the graves because DH's family has a plot that still has spaces available. However, there is the cost of the opening of the grave, the cement box that is needed even if you are creamated, and the actual cremeation. There is a chatrge if you choose to have a viewing at a funeral home (expensive).And a marker at each interremt site. And, of course, if you have a church service there is a donation expected by the church and the priest. We decided on immediate cremation, then a church service . Then at the time of the actual interrment just the priest to say a prayer there.  Despite going very inexpensively it will still cost us about $4500 for each one, which we  have already paid for. Amazing to me that it is so expensive, 

[gidgetgh]

I'm glad you got him to go.  I know you feel better having that done. 

[Kachina624]

Thats why cremation is so popular.  Everyone in my family has been cremated for years and years.  It's the practical solution.  There is no cement box needed; everyone's urn was put in a niche in a memorial wall.  I've asked that my remains be scattered in the mountains.

[151949]

I wanted to add that in DH's family site there are 4 graves of stillborn & miscarried babies that are unmarked so it was important to us that we not disturb those graves and the sales man told us not to worry because they can x ray the ground and see exactly where those are and not disturb them when we are buried, as we will be basically in the same grave sites as those babies. Amazing what they can do.

[blackhole99]

Boy, where did you get a complete funeral for 4500, my MIL died 2yrs. ago and the cheapest we could bury her for was 8000. My MIL would be spinning in her grave if she knew it cost 8Large to bury her.

[151949]

It was a real learning experience - for instance there were sites where we would each be in separate plots but we had thought we would just go into one plot. WELL - if you use the same pl,ot there is a county tax to get a permit to put a second body into an already used plot of $888. So natiurally we decide to wave that and go into separate ones I asked if having the babies already there meant we had to pay that but he said bables who were never took a breath do not count as a body in the eyes of the law.

[151949]

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@baker wrote:

Boy, where did you get a complete funeral for 4500, my MIL died 2yrs. ago and the cheapest we could bury her for was 8000. My MIL would be spinning in her grave if she knew it cost 8Large to bury her.

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!. We already owned the plots

2, no showing at a funeral home

3. no having to buy a coffin

4. instead of a headstone in his family's plot they just have a bronze marker for each person and then at the head of the area is a stone about 8ft wide by 6 ft high with the family name on it.Anyway those bronze markers are much less expensive. 

5. When you preplan a funeral and pay for it up front they give significant discounts plus you lock in the price at todays prices.

[cowboy sam]

When its my time my family know i want to be cremated...my paid up life insurance policies will pay for it.

I don't even want to be shown ..I also told them where to let my ashes blow into the wind in a special wooded spot. I don't my ashes  to be buried.!!

[raven-blackbird]

When I go...........I don't want a service....don't tell me when I am dead you miss me, tell me all you need to while I can still hear it, so skip the service......I want to be cremated and my ashes go back to nurish the earth that nurished me......I've told hubs and the kids to take my ashes to the mountains and find a meadow with flowers.........scatter me there..........when you want to visit in the spring........you'll see me in the meadow flowers..........the BEST marker you can get IMO.....................................raven

[fancy pantsy]

i know that it's expensive but thank goodness you have talked your dh into going ahead with the pre-planning.   if you're like me, you'll sleep better knowing you have taken care of business! 

i have also prepaid for my cremation, and i was going to be scattered at sea, but dd has a better idea, and she wants to take care of scattering me in a very special place.