Community Chat

[Deanie]

I have to chuckle when I read all the outrage by those that advocate forgetting the issues of the past and letting them die with the individual.  My only thought was, I bet all those women alleging crimes against Bill Cosby would like an opportunity to write his obituary when he goes.

[Bestdressed]

I had a sibling that lived on the edge. Suffering from bipolar disorder, depression, alcoholism and drug addiction.

I was his primary care taker and POA when he was in and out of hospitals, jail, homelessness etc.  He would sometimes get a little better, take his meds  ... then like clockwork, I could always tell when he was going off the rails.

Never, ever would I post such an obituary when he died.   It is difficult when someone will not get help... but I always saw someone really suffering and knew his mental problems were not something he simply could not or would not fix with or without professional help. It makes me sad he did not have normal life ... It aged me ... but I have no anger or resentment.

[shoekitty]

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@Bestdressed wrote:

I had a sibling that lived on the edge. Suffering from bipolar disorder, depression, alcoholism and drug addiction.

I was his primary care taker and POA when he was in and out of hospitals, jail, homelessness etc.  He would sometimes get a little better, take his meds  ... then like clockwork, I could always tell when he was going off the rails.

Never, ever would I post such an obituary when he died.   It is difficult when someone will not get help... but I always saw someone really suffering and knew his mental problems were not something he simply could not or would not fix with or without professional help. It makes me sad he did not have normal life ... It aged me ... but I have no anger or resentment.

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Shoekitty said

I too take care of a mentally ill brother with schitzophrenia, bipolar and tons of medical issues because of the medication he has taken his whole life.  It is hard, and they can be mean, hard to handle ,and when the delusions start, .......oh man,duck!!!!

I see no point in this mean obituary.  Get counceling and work through it.  But to air such meanness in a newspaper only makes them look like a piece of work.!  I have no doubt the meanness and cruel nature of some humans.  I also don't care for the glowing, syrup sickening obits that some write.  But I think we all can read through those.  They aren't hurtful in my opinion.

The writer of the mean obit looks like she might have inherited some of her grandmas meanness.  Just sayin.. It is her life, so be it. But this obit can give us all food for thought I think.

[Bestdressed]

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@shoekitty wrote:

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@Bestdressed wrote:

I had a sibling that lived on the edge. Suffering from bipolar disorder, depression, alcoholism and drug addiction.

I was his primary care taker and POA when he was in and out of hospitals, jail, homelessness etc.  He would sometimes get a little better, take his meds  ... then like clockwork, I could always tell when he was going off the rails.

Never, ever would I post such an obituary when he died.   It is difficult when someone will not get help... but I always saw someone really suffering and knew his mental problems were not something he simply could not or would not fix with or without professional help. It makes me sad he did not have normal life ... It aged me ... but I have no anger or resentment.

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Shoekitty said

I too take care of a mentally ill brother with schitzophrenia, bipolar and tons of medical issues because of the medication they take their whole life.  It is hard, and they can be mean, hard to handle and when the delusions start, oh man duck!

i see no point in the mean obituary.  Get counceling and work theough it.  But to air such meanness in a newspaper ionly makes them look like a piece of work.  I have no doubt the meanness and cruel of humans.  I also dont care for the glowing, syrup sickening obits that some write.  But I think we all can read through those.  

The writer of the mean obit looks like she might have inherited some of her grandmas meanness.  Just sayin.. It is her life, so be it. But this obit gives us all food for thought.

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@shoekitty ... ITA. Sending you positive thoughts and the strength to manuever through everything put in your path.

[RedTop]

@haddon9,

I totally understand your comment.   

However, after 6 1/2 years, the very mention of my cousins name to certain people still evoke comments like "that SOB died, right?"   He died in a care facility, where his only visitors were his children.   My cousin lied, cheated, stole from, and hurt so many people in his lifetime, NO ONE cared about him, except the children he denied.   They made up the family section at the funeral home.  

A friend who works at the funeral home, told me there were 4 people seated on the opposite side of the chapel; 2 were men he had worked with, and 2 were distant cousins.   One of those distant cousins has since told me they sat there and wondered where all of my grandpa's family members were, since there are still enough cousins left to have filled the funeral chapel.   

[Cakers3]

I'm surprised the paper printed it.

No matter who "deserves" to be slammed, the person is dead.  If you cannot resolve your issues with someone while they are alive, then let it be when he/she dies.

Tacky.

[dex]

@happycat I always wonder about the pic too....very beautiful whoever she is.

[deedledeedeedle]

I thought this was terrible and very petty. What good did it accomplish? It certainly didn't hurt the deceased like it was intended.

If you cannot be gracious after a death, no comment should be the rule, then. 

dee