Community Chat

[Puppy Lips]

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@spiderw wrote:

When I was growing up we weren't privy to adult conversations and were kept in the dark as to any serious issues going on among adults.  We didn't care because we were too busy being kids and teens and having fun.

However, the down side of being kept innocent was that we now wish we knew so much more. There are many unanswered questions and yes, I wish I knew more about family members, our family's heritage and history. 

My grandparent's, parents, aunts and uncles have passed and we are the next generation. We wish we had them here to ask those questions we didn't ask.

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@spiderw I sometimes think that those people that lived what we would consider a very exciting life, don't think of it as exciting at all, and don't think anyone cares to hear about it.  Personally, I am in awe of anyone who moves to a different country, because I can not imagine doing that myself.  People who fled communist countries, or just immigrated to find a better life, or were forced to leave with family members - that I would find interesting.  Also, what work did they do and for whom?  Where did they live and why?  Adults might not realize that the next generation would care to know these things.  I bet a lot of kids were kept in the dark and were allowed to enjoy being "kids."  And I think their parents enjoyed giving that carefree freedom to their children, when maybe they themselves were not so blessed with a worry free childhood.  Of course I don't know your situation, I am just thinking in print.

[Mominohio]

I was one of those kids that liked to hear the 'old' people in the family talk about the past. But I fear I didn't hear nearly enough. 

I have tons of stuff I'd like to ask many of my now gone on relatives. 

I'd like to know how my great grandparents and their kids weathered the Spanish Flu in 1918. 

I'd like to know more about my great grandma's first baby that died and why (I've been told pneumonia)

I'd like to know about my great grandparents own parents and grand parents. I really would like to have heard stories about them. 

I'd like to know about my maternal grandmother. She died in childbirth with my mother, and we know virtually nothing about her. She was only 26.

I'd like to know about my grandfather's and great uncle's WW II service but it is something they didn't talk about. They were in far away lands and I know nothing about their experiences. 

I'd love to talk to my ancestors that served in the Civil War and those in the Revolutionary War. 

So many things I'd love to ask and hear about.

[Puppy Lips]

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@jeanlake wrote:

I would ask my 38 year old mother (the last time I saw her) how she was so brave. Cancer took her after 4 children and a 20 year marriage. Her first child died of German measles; 6 months old. Mom was sick for years but continued to work as a supervisor for a telephone company. Dad lived through some lay offs with major airline and mom knew her salary and benefits came in handy. And she needed reliable insurance for health issues. Mom didn't make day-to-day life about her. She worked at the telephone company until the end because she wanted her family to have life insurance. She was brave, kind and beautiful. At her young age, how was she so brave?     

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@jeanlake So sorry about your mother.  She sounds like an incredible woman.  I think mothers can garner a tremendous amount of strength when it is needed.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

sooner, sometimes the truth can be pretty harsh. I really understand.

[Puppy Lips]

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@Sooner wrote:

NOTE:  The response below is harsh.  I am sorry and my heart goes out to everyone for the people we have lost.  I've lost birth family all but one who has dementia and is in lockdown far away now.

I guess since I'm the last I have to have this attitude or I couldn't go on.  I've closed homes, sold off stuff, struggled to pay for them, and buried them.  So sometimes I don't have much left and I have no choice but to leave sentiment alone. And I have a wonderful life now.  But If you still are surrounded by family, God bless you and enjoy every moment!  End of note, apology, explanation, whatever:

If you didn't ask, it's not important now so let it go and forget about it.

Last of my family and it is what it is. I would fret about it and think about it or think about today and who I can call or what I can read or what to cook for dinner.  

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@Sooner You are moving forward, and that is the best way to live your life.  Thank you for your comments.

[Puppy Lips]

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@Mominohio wrote:

I was one of those kids that liked to hear the 'old' people in the family talk about the past. But I fear I didn't hear nearly enough. 

I have tons of stuff I'd like to ask many of my now gone on relatives. 

I'd like to know how my great grandparents and their kids weathered the Spanish Flu in 1918. 

I'd like to know more about my great grandma's first baby that died and why (I've been told pneumonia)

I'd like to know about my great grandparents own parents and grand parents. I really would like to have heard stories about them. 

I'd like to know about my maternal grandmother. She died in childbirth with my mother, and we know virtually nothing about her. She was only 26.

I'd like to know about my grandfather's and great uncle's WW II service but it is something they didn't talk about. They were in far away lands and I know nothing about their experiences. 

I'd love to talk to my ancestors that served in the Civil War and those in the Revolutionary War. 

So many things I'd love to ask and hear about.

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@Mominohio  It seems like most men that came back from the war did not want to talk about it, ever.  I was lucky enough to have all my grandparents until I was college age.  But I never even thought to ask them about their parents.  I am wondering now about all this social media.  Will my grandchildren and great grandchilden be able to find me on Facebook and all the other platforms?   I rarely post on Facebook as it is.  But will that be how we learn about our ancestors?  

[jeanlake]

@Puppy Lips Agree. Mothers / grandmothers / aunts are pillars of strength and care. How relevant with Mother's Day this weekend.  

[spiderw]

PUPPY LIPS

Excellent comments!  I agree with what you said.  My grandaprents came from Sicily and Slovakia.  They had to struggle to bring up their children and earn livings and they wanted better for their kids, my parents generation.  Our parents wanted better for us.  Talking about the hardships they left and still had when they came to America, was probably painful in many ways.  They, did want us to be kids and enjoy our childhood and teen years, you and I agree about that and I often say that to others.

I do not hold the fact  against them , it was the way we lived and I have no regrets.  I think as an adult it bothered me I didn't ask questions and learn and by then many family members passed and those left I didn't see as much.  Thanks for your response, you said much of what I think also.  Stay safe!

[ALRATIBA]

Death wasn't an unfortunate or morbid topic in my family.  It was a normal conversation topic.  

I have a whole list of people that I'd love to chat with.  

[roeroe1005]

Great question.

This evening my cousins, sister and I had a zoom visit.  My sister is the youngest at soon to be 61.  We started talking about our parents, moms in particular as they were sisters.  My cousin Anthony has gone to the town in Italy that his dad lived before coming to the US in the late 1930s.  He also has a copy of the manifesto from the ship our grandmother, mom & aunts took to come to America.

I guess if I could speak to my parents (mom died 2009, dad May 20019), I would want to know more of their life in Italy, history, and write it down or record it.  My sister and I did not know our grandparents and sometimes I feel that I've missed out not being able to learn from them.

I would want to know more about their lives, in Italy and early years of marriage here.