Community Chat

[CatsyCline]

@Shanus     Will I ever be good enough  was quite a revelation.  i always bypassed it because of the "N" word. Not my mother!   oh yes my mother. a narcissist.  it helped me .  i stopped beating myself up trying to be better and be perfect. . accept her limitations. even as we are both older now (she is 86)  the rift between us has grown wider. sad

[Moonchilde]

Thanks, @chickenbutt :-)

I get to see two excellent moms (my niece and her adult daughter) in action daily; they are both what mothers should be - mothers, not just women with kids. Wise, involved, informed, always supportive and loving. That's getting difficult with the 16-year-old lol, but that too shall pass ;-)

[tansy]

I've read that book, too, and found it insightful, @CatsyCline and @Shanus.

[Shanus]

@CatsyCline. After reading that book, I was able to understand where she was coming from and why. I knew to accept that I WAS good to myself (all that really mattered) and just go on from there w/ a "watchful eye". 

[Vivian]

My mother's 95th birthday is this Mother's Day weekend. I am making a huge birthday party for her. On May 13. All my cousins will be coming in from each coast. Then on Mother's Day we will have brunch for all. I told my mother she is to do no work. I want her to conserve her energy for enjoyment only.

[CatsyCline]

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@Shanus wrote:

@CatsyCline. After reading that book, I was able to understand where she was coming from and why. I knew to accept that I WAS good to myself (all that really mattered) and just go on from there w/ a "watchful eye". 

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i always thought that if i lived nearby her, as an adult,  we would have been closer.  now i do not believe there would have been any difference.   i think she liked the distance between us. every time i visited she would be fine for 3 days and then i knew it was time to leave.  there is a lot more though ii won't go into.  i had been in therapy off and on since my 20s.   finally a year ago i decided no more therapy.

[SilleeMee]

My mother is from another culture...a Japanese one. Family and the expressions of love are very different over there. I struggled for many years trying to figure out why my mother was the way she was and how the war changed her way of thinking. It wasn'nt until I learned from a college history class about the Japanese culture that I finally got a glimpse of how things might have been for my mother as she grew up and came to this strange place called the USA. All I can say is that she was tremendously courageous and very much of an adventurer...like me! 

[fourpaws56]

Mother passed away in 1992...i hope she is finally happy...

[songbird]

Lost my mom when I was very young.  Still in college.  I also lost my dad when I was 16.  All I kept thinking after she died was...I guess this makes me an orphan. 

[Noel7]

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@beckyb1012 wrote:

Lost mine three days after Mother's Day in 2013.  I spent the whole day that day sitting next to her in bed thinking she was cooking for me and asking me if it was any good?  It was the best meal of my life.

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@beckyb1012