Community Chat

[Nightowlz]

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@Puzzle Piece wrote:

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

Items that have already been used.

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I have a SIL who does this and she offends people by doing so.  However, she wants the most pricey and new items anyone can afford as well as money.  We don't exchange anything with her at all.  She ever resends christmas cards - ahe uses white out or pastes a piece of paper over the senders signature. 

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@Puzzle Piece I think we all have at least one in the family. My younger sister always wants, wants, wants the expensive things. She has no job & dad is paying her bills. She gets gifts from us at Christmas but complains if it's not something she asked for. She does not buy for anyone since she has no job but still has money to get her hair done No Thanks to dad. She does not send Christmas cards, birthday cards etc. We don't even get a Thank you for the things I do buy her. Her birthday is right after Christmas so it's always where's my birthday present??????? She's in for a big wake up call when dad passes because her bank will be closed.

[LilacTree]

I was married in 1961.  Nobody gave money in those days and I didn't expect it.  However, maybe I was not "offended" per se, but I was surely shocked when one of my husband's aunts gave me two dish towels.

Wedding gifts were not a big deal in those days, I received some trays, sheet sets, etc., things most people nowadays get for showers . . . and even that was probably twenty years ago.

That said, it's way overboard these days.  It costs a fortune to go to a wedding . . . and forget being IN a wedding!!  You're in for hundreds of dollars.

[QVCkitty1]

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@mima wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@QVCkitty1 wrote:

I have heard of gifts like this called gifts of spite, I agree. If you are a bad gift giver, start paying attention, it's not that hard. Oh and buy a gift that the person would like, not what you think they should have. 

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That last sentence really resonates with me. My mother often bought me things she thought I "should" want or "should" like rather than what I'd told her I did actually want. And my sister always gave me items of clothing two sizes too small.

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I gave a gift for spite once.  You'd have to know the background to understand.  But in a nutshell, I heard my MIL say a  million times that she is a size small and has never weighed over 114 pounds.  I have been overweight most of my life, so this didn't set well with me. She would rub it in.  When I wasn't dieting she would say "it looks like you are losing weight" when I was bigger than ever.  I would be so angry.  One year I got her a really cute top in a size small for her for Christmas.  My mom was shopping with me and she said it looked like those run really small and I should get a medium.  I said "no way" she says she is a small so that is what I'm getting knowing it would be too small for her. No, I never saw her wear it.

That was mean, but there is also a history of lots of mean things she did to me over the years. 

I hope I don't live to regret telling this story here.  I'm really not that mean most of the time! 

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@mima@You know what, I think you get a pass for this one, after all you gave her what she wanted, a size small.❤️

[SeaMaiden]

I would only be offended if a gift was given with no thought as to what I would like. Like those office pools where people give unwanted gifts that they received to someone just to do the deed. If the gift is not from the heart, than I do not want it.  Fortunately I do not celebrate holidays  so I do not have to worry about it.

[sgraham30]

Something that you yourself had already gifted someone being regifted to you because the person doing the gift giving forgot that the gift came from you originally.

[cherry]

Something lewd

[Mominohio]

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@Nightowlz wrote:

Stuff we don't use or need. Most stuff we receive goes in the trash, in the attic or to the Salvation Army. We have told all on our gift lists we don't have room for any more "stuff". Buy us something that we can use & discard when it's gone or a $5 gift card if that's all you can afford. We don't want any more chia pets, ove gloves, pictures, throws, or knick knacks.

I would take that Epilator over some of the things I receive. LOL!!!

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This is sad on a number of levels.

It's sad that people who gift to you don't know you better, and it's kind of sad they we as a people, have so much that gifts 'offend' us or that we dislike or don't appreciate them, or don't have uses for them. There are so many in the world who have so little, it makes me uncomfortable to hear how people criticize things they are gifted (even thought I know sometimes the criticism feels warranted).

[nana59]

Me too...cause you know our **** doesn't stink...or so I've been told...lol...

[HisElk1]

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@circles wrote:

An  Exercise Tape...or a Diet Book....(I am heavy)...

I would NOT take it as helpful...I would be very hurt...

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@circles, that happened to  me many years ago at Christmas.  I was pregnant and my ex MIL gave me Jenny Craig exercise cassette tapes, along with a diet book.  My dear mother was sitting next to me when I opened it and after I opened it and she saw it, she leaned over and said "like she has room to talk" (my ex MIL was overweight herself).

Now, the fun part for me was after Christmas was over; I gave the cassette tapes to my then 2 year old and showed him how to play with the tape and he sat on the floor spinning the tape out of them.

When my ex got home from work and saw the mess on the floor, he was very angry at me (note I said ex).  I told him it saved us "counseling money" but he didn't see the humor.  Oh well, one of the various reasons why he's  my ex because he always sided with her and never stood up for me.

[Greeneyedlady21]

 There are spiteful gifts and gift givers, I think it's perfectly fine to be offended by that. It's hardly in the spirit of the season.

My late grandmother was one, she always favored the children of one of her other kids. One year she gave me a sweater that was about three sizes too small. I was a kid at the time and it hurt my feelings.But like my Mom  taught me to do I accepted it graciously.She treated my mother very poorly too. Luckily my other grandmother was wonderful.

If anyone gave me anything weight related that would offend me. Or cleaning products.