Community Chat

[JBKO]

Hi everyone. I just found out some awful news and would like to talk about it. I also figure that perhaps we can share information that will be useful for others. Many of you may feel that my questions aren't your cup of tea. That's ok. When it comes to this situation, please remember that it is a serious situation and perhaps think twice before you decide to respond. It is so saddening that all my problems (and I have many) have been put on the backburner so to speak.

I recently found out that a close family member has a pregnant 13 year old daughter. I don't know all the details but I cannot convey how much my heart breaks for both of them. The man in question is 19. This is all I know. I am in complete and utter shock and don't lnow how to quite process this. I don't even know what my question is. Maybe you can offer something that will somehow make this better. What I want to say is that I have never in my life wanted to take someone out of their despair more than I have now. Thank you for listening to me😊

[Sister Golden Hair]

@JBKO The first thing is she going to try to keep the baby? Which would be a hard situation but can be handled with love.

My birth Mother was 16 and gave me up for adoption. I doubt back then she didn't have a choice.

If she decided to give it up, there are a lot of wonderful people in the world that would love to have a child.

No matter what they decide, it must be a positive attitude towards the girl.

Yes, she is very young but it happens even though we think our children should know about birth control.

This may not be what you wanted to hear but I hope her parents won't make her feel bad.

[tedEbear]

  Right now you can do absolutely nothing.  The family needs to figure out what they want and need time to process.  It is not the end of their world or your world.  You can only be a source of support , when and if you are asked. 

    It is something that happens in a lot of families. I say ,let them know they are loved, especially the 13yr old and her child, if she keeps the baby. Always remember the 13yr old needs LOVE above all else.

  I hope I am not coming across as mean or know-it-all, I am sympathetic, but for the young person.-------tedEbear

     YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU ABOVE EVERYTHING.

[esmerelda]

I think the first thing is  the girl's family should charge "the man" with statutory rape.

Next...it's not your problem.  What, in your wildest dreams, do you think you could do to take someone...the girl? her mother?...out of her despair?

[Kachina624]

There really is not much you can do but offer non-judgmental support and your love.  The girl and her parents will have to make the difficult decisions.  If anyone ever needed this poem, you do now.

[JBKO]

Thank you so much. I will be going to sleep and will continue our discussion tomorrow.

[Catty2]

The very first thing that popped into my head is that the 19-year old father could be charged with statutory rape of a minor.  I can't imagine a 13-year old girl having to go through a pregnancy and giving birth.  She needs her family's support right now for them all to decide what to do.  Wishing them and you the best.

[Big Sister]

@JBKO, the first thought that comes to my mind is don't offer any suggestions, opinions or guidance unless you are asked by that family.

In other words, don't get involved at this point.   Also, I would hope that the child will put the baby up for adoption.

And, the 19 year old man should be arrested for statutory rape.  Period!

Really, what else is there to say?

[colliegirls]

I know what I would do immediately if my daughter was pregnant at 13, but no solution is an easy one.

[goldensrbest]

Pray for the girl, parents and baby.