Valentine's Day Snub! - Page 5

Bridgegal · ‎03-09-2010

@noodleann wrote:
Do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to fill the information void with your own script.

For all you know, the husband has been unwell because he has an inoperable cancer, or some other untreatable disease, and this may be his last Valentine's Day with his wife. They've decided to keep their bad news private, but they're really not thinking of social graces in the face of this terrible impending event. They just want to wring all the happiness they can out of the time they have left, together, without having to deal with friends and family at the moment.

I certainly hope this isn't the case, but it could be, and wouldn't that change the picture? Doesn't that make you glad you didn't leave a bit of snark on their Facebook page and possibly spoil their day?

Like another person here said, let it go. The day is supposed to be about love, and hopefully that can extend beyond our nearest and dearest.

While I agree with your 'let it go' suggestion, I have to disagree with your 'horrible disease' example. Even if this is the case, there is still no reason to lie about it. All they had to say was "sorry, but we already have plans for that night". Their plan could be to go out just the two of them or their plan could be to stay home or not to have dinner with OP and husband. There is no reason to make up a story especially if FB pics might be involved later.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

It's unlikely they have outgrown the friendshp, it's more likely more personal. Perhaps it's to do with the other couple and nothing to do with the OP.

golding76 · ‎05-19-2012

Although at first I agreed with others that you may have outgrown this friendship, something just popped into my mind. It is a long shot, and I hope, in one sense, that it is not so, but it could be that the woman's husband was just diagnosed with a serious disease.

There is a remote possibility that she (and he) wanted to celebrate this particular Valentine's Day together -- just the two of them -- while he is still strong. I recall that you offered other dates, and your friend still did not accept one of those dates either. That part I cannot explain. But, maybe something unfortunate, health-wise, has occurred and they are not yet prepared to share that news. Just a thought -- it is remote, I admit.

nooldleann, apologies to you! Only now did I read your post and mine looks like a direct steal from yours. I must have been feeling your vibes on this. Sometimes I jump right in after reading the OP, and by not reading other posts, I do not know what has already been stated.

AngusandBuddhasMom · ‎03-10-2010

@JSpring wrote:
We went to a Super Bowl party at friends we did a lot with when our kids were in high school but now usually just go to their annual party although we have had dinners out on Valentine's Day. It's always fun so I wanted to do more with them and another couple. I suggested we all have a meal at our place. Either Valentine's Day, the weekend before, or the weekend after. The third couple was open for any date. The couple hosting the party was enthusiastic and said they'd let me know what was good.

Last Thursday, I Facebook messaged the wife. I got word that the husband was sick, could they reschedule. I thought it weird since I gave 3 very separate dates. Well, tonight on Facebook, that couple posted a pic enjoying Valentine's dinner at a restaurant. The husband looked very healthy.

Clearly, they really didn't want to come over for dinner. Why lie? You always get caught. I would so love to comment that I thought he was sick but I decided not to. I think I'm just going to avoid them from now on and never reschedule that offer. I will add they pulled something like this once before at the last minute but didn't have the Facebook proof.

Am I being too harsh or missing something? No mean comments, I'm kinda hurt the way it is

Well wait a min. You did not specify which day was set. As it seemed both couples were open. So had you picked the Weekend? Then the husband was sick on Thursday so the weekend was out. But you didn't say that you rescheduled? The other wife asked for a reshed. You didn't they went out. So why are you upset? You didn't reschedule and nobody stopped you from going out with the other couple.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I haven't read the other posts; could be that the husband wasn't feeling well on Thursday, but by the time the weekend arrived, the DH felt better and they (the two of them) went out for a quick dinner. Forgive me if there are updates here. Just ignore.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Pqfan · ‎03-09-2010

@JSpring I would have been hurt too.

Hugs to you. ((()))

PurpleBunny · ‎03-09-2010

I wouldn't comment that the husband looked healthy, I'd post something like, "What a wonderful photo! Such a fun night out!"

That will drive her nuts. Lol.

( \_/ )
(='x'=)
( " )_( " )

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

The husband became ill on Thursday. Valentine's Day was on Tuesday. 'Could be' that they didn't want to spread his germs around on that weekend or on Tuesday (VD). 'I don't know'..........it just seems to me that he just wasn't feeling up to going to O/P's house; could be that they had a quick dinner to celebrate, and then returned home. Maybe he had tummy issues, and it is uncomfortable to be at someone's house for hours with various tummy problems. Seriously, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Just accept that friends (all of us) aren't completely perfect. I'd 'shake it off', and let them do the inviting. Personally, I believe that some couples like to spend the time (VD) alone, or perhaps a quick dinner with another couple, then return home. (Of course, I'm the one who doesn't like sitting around for hours in someone else's house. I'd rather meet friends for a nice dinner, and then 'high-tail it' on home....).

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

KateE · ‎01-07-2011

What they did was wrong, plain and simple! People can be so rude and unkind of others. Been there several times and it's really hard to know what the right thing is to do. Call her, not or wait and see. That is something you'll have to weigh yourself. Are they worth it? Will they do this again? I wish you the best as this is a tough decision.