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Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

What are your thoughts?

 

A Utah elementary school has told girls attending its Valentine's Day dance that they are not allowed to turn down boys who ask them to dance.

 

Kanesville Elementary in West Haven holds annual holiday dance every year and has enforced this rule in the past, but this year, a parent is finally taking issue with it.

 

Natalie Richard, whose daughter is in the sixth grade at the school, told Fox 13 that she thinks the policy sends a harmful message to both male and female students.

 

Richard didn't believe it at first when her daughter told her of the school policy. She said the girl, who is 11 or 12, had told her that she wasn't allowed to say no if a boy asked her to dance at the Valentine's Day dance.

 

 

The mother insisted her daughter must have misunderstood the instructions — but later, she asked her daughter's teacher about the rule, and learned that the girl was not mistake at all.

 

'The teacher said she can’t. She has to say yes. She has to accept and I said, "Excuse me?"' Richard said, and went on to discuss her concerns with the school's principal. 

 

'He basically just said they've had this dance set up this way for a long time and they've never had any concern before,' she went on.

 

Lane Findlay, a Community Relations Specialist who works for the Weber School District, said the rule was supposed to teach students to be more inclusive, 'respectful,' and 'polite'

 

'We want to promote kindness, and so we want you to say yes when someone asks you to dance,' Findlay explained.

 

Richard said she understands the importance of inclusivity, but thinks this particularly way of teaching it is a poor one, and missed the mark. 

 

In fact, she said, not allowing one student to turn down physical contact or a romantic gesture from someone else can do more harm than good.  






You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

I agree with the mother.

"But the Emperor has nothing at all on!" ~ Hans Christian Andersen
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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

[ Edited ]

@faeriemoon

 

I agree, I think it sends all kinds of WRONG messages personally.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

    IMO the rule takes away a young girls power to not be touched by someone she chooses not to interact with.If she were my daughter I would not allow her to attend the dance.

  You can teach kids to be respectful of others without forcing them to be touched by someone they would rather not be touched by.

   This does not teach empowerment but rather submission. This is a very bad message.The school shouldn’t even have a dance if they can’t get their messaging right!!

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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

But what if a girl asks a boy to dance?  

Cogito ergo sum
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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

What if a boy asks another boy to dance?

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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

[ Edited ]

This appears to be taking the feelings of the boy over the girl. Life is full of rejection, the lesson should be to keep trying, we don't always get a yes the first time. This applies even with same genders, everyone should have the right to say no.

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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

I don't equate  having a dance with someone as a romantic gesture

 

If they  try to kiss another or touch them in a provocative way , that is another story

 

I think its good to teach kids about other peoples feelings, and  to set parameters for  behavior, what is allowed and what is forbidden

 

I recall once  going to a dance ,and a girl from a poor family crying, because no one would dance with her. It was so sad for her. She had nothing in her life to bring her any joy at all

 

Our teacher took the boys aside ,and asked them to be kind, and ask the girl to  dance. She was so happy

 

I think if you are going to have an event, it should be something everyone can enjoy

 

 

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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

Romantic gesture, would that be considered a slow dance? These dances can end up just being a popularity party. Does anyone not remember the the school dances where the walls were lined with kids who were too shy to ask someone to dance or wasn't liked enough to be asked. If the kids really don't want to be social and actually dance then they should not go. I think that the schools way of being all inclusive is a good idea. I remember back in the 50's where our elementary school required that if you were giving valentines, you must include everyone in the class. I know for sure that if it was not a requirement some poor kids would not receive valentines.

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Re: Utah Elementary Valentines Dance/Mandatory Consent?

I do see the original intent. It's too bad that they can't create something in which everybody was included in the dance. It really is hard on kids that age to be rejected, whether it's a boy or a girl.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland