Community Chat

[terrier3]

On 8/7/2014 BlueCollarBabe said:

Call her and tell her you're sorry for your part in whatever transpired and that you love her. If she doesn't answer her phone, leave the same in a message. It costs you nothing and will help clear the air. It's our pride that gets us into a lot of these family kerfuffles. No one wants to be the first to let go and move on. You know you love her more than you were irritated by what she said so let her know that too.

ITA.

Ford - Your first sentence says it all Y You have the best kids in the world."

Just stick with that thought and let her know!

[LilacTree]

Thank you all so much. I'm going to get off the BB for now or I'll say too much . . . and I've been there, done that and not going to do it again.

You folks . . . are just great. I hope you know how much I mean that. It's a beautiful day outside. I will go out on my deck and sit in my lounge chair and do some crossword puzzles.

Thanks again.

[Luv2Decorate]

I'm a fixer by nature. I hit things head on and air it out. I have found with my kids (although teenagers), the first thing out of my mouth is "you know how much I love you" and I pause and let them respond, they always respond, I love you too.. It calms them down, redirects their focus and reminds them of what is important. Family.

If I were you, I'd call her.

[occasionalrain]

On 8/7/2014 stilltamn8r said: I had words with my mom after a funeral - out of character for us and I was being a brat, admittedly...though my mom wasn't perfect either... We didn't talk for a day, the following day, she called me at work, said she wasn't feeling well.. I thought she was faking, but drove over there, cause that was so out of character for her..she WAS. I'll, i took her to the ER and she ( who had been healthy as a horse), was dead within 24 hours.. I regret my actions so, that I cannot even tell you how much...Ford, don't let it play out???call her.... Please

You were there for her when she needed you, that's what matters.

[ive been framed]

Hi Ford. I remember having the occasional argument with my mom that would blow over and be forgotten within moments (our relationship while I was growing up was great), but as she grew older she got more feisty in her opinions and would lash out at me ... but I knew in my heart she loved me unconditionally, even if she disagreed with my ideals and opinions!

I'm sure your daughter knows how much your love for her prevails all else. You say this episode is unusual and she didn't seem herself. That speaks volumes, and is likely why it affects you so deeply. Give her a call if she doesn't get ahold of you first and see how she is doing, which is what I would do if she were my kid (she'll always be your kid, even if she is pre or post menopausal!). I wish you both well.

[MomOf4]

Ford, I have 4 daughters too and I understand how difficult it can be sometimes. I think sometimes we (as mothers) get our feelings hurt easier than our kids do.

Sometimes things pertaining to my girls leave me almost in tears but the girls don't even remember what happened. Eventually everything blows over.

Hang in there mom. Good luck.

[hckynut]

I've had many unpleasant interactions with adults, but beings I have no human children? What I can relate to is whenever I've had an unpleasant experience with an adult friend or associate of mine, either face to face or by phone, this is how I handle it.

My choice is to wait a couple day or more to allow the past situation to be pretty much calmed down a few notches. I then call the person, and in my experience, we both leave the past in the past and move on from there.

I had 3 older sisters, one died in 1989 of liver cancer, and I have had times were we did not talk for a couple years. The one that died was closest to my age and we never had any issues like I have had with my 2 remaining older sisters over the years.

An issue with one was over the care of my mother and she would not talk to me for over 2 years. The other issue was because I refused to be a witness in a divorce proceeding of her daughter and she did not speak to me for several years, and my mother was still alive at that time.

While I can't relate to children I can relate to siblings and many other way to many to count, adults. I hope all works out well for both of you.

[straykatz]

If this were my daughter I would call her and say something like: Things didn't end well in our conversation last night and I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you and I love you no matter what.

Then I would leave it at that unless she wanted to talk more.

[shy bobcat]

Many of us have daughters and have experienced problems with our relationships off and on. You know your DD best and what communication style is best. I am concerned about your personal pain because it caused you such stress. In my experience, an apology, regardless of blame, will help you to feel much better.

[stilltamn8r]

On 8/7/2014 occasional rain said:

On 8/7/2014 stilltamn8r said: I had words with my mom after a funeral - out of character for us and I was being a brat, admittedly...though my mom wasn't perfect either... We didn't talk for a day, the following day, she called me at work, said she wasn't feeling well.. I thought she was faking, but drove over there, cause that was so out of character for her..she WAS. I'll, i took her to the ER and she ( who had been healthy as a horse), was dead within 24 hours.. I regret my actions so, that I cannot even tell you how much...Ford, don't let it play out???call her.... Please

You were there for her when she needed you, that's what matters.

Thank you