Community Chat

[SuhseK]

I'm an RD and from time to time we're required to participate in medical ethics classes.  

This scenario came up today. While it's not one I'm likely to be involved in, you never know. 

It's such an ugly, humiliating situation, and I was thinking, I don't know how I'd get over it. Could the relationship survive?  

A woman experiencing pelvic discomfort, goes to the Dr.  She is stunned to get a diagnosis,of an STD.  

Married, she felt the relationship was strong. Like all couples, they'd had some ups and downs, but, they'd been together 15 years, and infidelity had never been a concern. She was faithful, she'd always believed, he had been, as well.  

The husband insisted, he hadn't cheated, but, she knew she hadn't, and knew she couldn't get past this. 

Our focus was on, helping this woman deal with such shocking news, but, on a personal level, is there any chance you'd try to forgive and get past this,or would you be so done, relationship over! 

[Grand Happy]

I don't think I would handle it well, you can forgive but not forget which wouldn't make for a very happy marriage.

[sktchy]

Over - he took care of getting himself treated but disrespected the woman by not manning up.

It NEVER gets better.

GET OUT.

[San Antonio Gal]

Over!

[nana59]

not only is the wife in emotional pain...but also physical pain.......kick the guy to the curb.......

[jannabelle1]

Absolutely over and done with! The fact that he would put his wife in this situation is terrible. My ex had an affair and left me to move in with her. No STD's for me thankfully...I filed for divorce. No way did I want him anywhere near me ever again. No forgiveness....he made his choice.

[stevieb]

Theoreticals don't work for me. In the absence of knowing the individual, the specifics about the overall nature of the relationship, and the specifics of who knew and did what and when, both with respect to the infidelity and any treatment, it's impossible for me to say what I'd do or not do. 

[suzyQ3]

If my husband admitted it and further discussion was promising, yes, I would continue with the relationship.

[Etoile308]

Before I accused someone I trusted and loved I would see a second doctor, have a second examine and test, and get a second diagnosis. Then have my loved one tested. 

[CAcableGirl2]

@Etoile308   I agree.  After a 2nd opinion and testing for the spouse and assuming it came back positive, it would be over since trust would be very difficult to get back. 

Since I don't have any experience with those issues, I would be blunt with the doctor and confirm that the ONLY way I could have gotten it would be from him, and not some thing that sat dormant for years and then appeared due to stress or something else. 

Not saying it can't be done, but it would be over for me.