Community Chat

[Mominohio]

if all the work they go to for the holidays, really makes any difference, if anyone, years later, remembers or appreciates,all the work and sacrifice.

They do.

We approach the time of year where many may be questioning their dedication to the holiday preparations and celebrations. Some of us will be considering cutting back, letting go of some of the work or traditions, only because we don't feel it is appreciated, recognized, remembered past the day or treasured.

This post isn't about those who find financial, health, or other limitations that necessitate cutting back or scaling down. It is about those who truly feel unappreciated or that those they do all this work for, don't notice or really need it.

I can say, that various Thanksgivings and Christmases through my growing up and young adult years were managed by different people. Sometimes the celebration would be at home, other times at one or another great aunt's or my grandmother's home. The older I get, the more I appreciate all they did, the work, the money, the time spent. I treasure each celebration, the people now gone that gathered with us, the feelings it all left behind. 

Were there the typical family issues that can come up at holiday gatherings? Of course. But through the years, each one still holds a special place in my memories. 

I post this for those who wonder, if decades from now, anyone will remember, anyone will appreciate. I say they will. I do.

I post this for those of us who may still have those with us who gave us these celebrations and events, but we have never really let them know just how much they have meant to us over the years. 

I post this as the 'thank you' I never really verbalized to those women so long gone, and to show how grateful I am for the example they set for me to follow. 

I post this because I was considering doing less, giving less, and feeling somewhat unappreciated. Then I remembered my past, and decided that even if the words aren't always spoken, someone will be remembering, and be thankful. 

[Sooner]

That is a great thought for those women who can and want to still carry that burden and drive themselves nuts.  But on the other hand, you don't have to and that's OK too!  For those who need or want to cut back, it doesn't mean people will be deprived.  Others can take up some of the traditions or not.  

Also, there may be someone younger or more able in the family who WANTS to do that--and that's ok too.  Some of my mother's generation were unwilling to pass the torch and spread the glory--so lots of my friends never established a holiday tradition in their own homes because their mama wouldn't have it and it was too big a guilt trip NOT to show up at her house.

There are always lots of issues surrounding the holidays aren't there???  

[Perkup]

Thank you for this.  We all often wonder whether the time, the work, the dedication is appreciated. And we forget that in the years that went before, we might not have shown our appreciation to others.  A good reminder to show our love and appreciation for others today . . . don't wait until the opportunity has passed us by. We all take too much for granted.

[Puzzle Piece]

I think it will be different for everyone.  No, I don't go all out.  In fact, I just gave away my tree, lights, and ornaments two weeks ago.  For us, it's just one day.  We celebrate life and lving all the rest of the year.  Since we (by choice) didn't have children, no need to do anything as I feel it's just like Halloween - for children.  No, my relatives won't remember or care about what went on and for some, they will find all the goo-gahs that some call decor, odd and bizarre.  Once upon a time.................................................

[151949]

In my opinion many ladies make much more out of the holidays than necessary. All the baking - the shopping and the decorating. Having huge parties. Going to huge party after party. OMG. I have a simple life - I like it that way. I try hard to not complicate my life with unnecessary clutter or obligations. For years and years I would bake a ton of cookies, give them to family and friends. Not once ever has anyone ever given me a plate of home baked goods , except my Mom, at Christmas. All those neighbors and relatives just take that tin of cookies and smile while saying thank you - then nothing. I haven't baked in about 8 years since I retired and my brother said recently "remember when you used to make me those fabulous pizzelles?" I told him my pizzelle iron was broken but if he wanted the recipe I would send it to him. I wonder if anyone realizes the extreme amount of work to make dozens and dozens of pizzelles 2 cookies at a time, or to stand for hours filling cannolis one at a time, after spending hours making the shells 2 at a time.

Anyway, I know some ladies really enjoy making a magical Christmas and others not so much and in the end I really don't think anyone has a better time or not due to how well things are decorated or if the dessert is homemade or from Sam's club.I prefer to not get myself all stressed out.

[Melania]

OP you sound depressed.

If anyone has to think about if it makes a difference or there is some "reward" shows they didn't do it with the best intentions anyway. 

[qualitygal]

I've never wondered, I think my grandmother and mother and I just always just have as much family fun while eveyone is gathered, as any family member. I guess the food and talk and seeing and visiting with family was it. Don't think we ever questioned it, I guess like others, we did it all for love. JMHO, not boasting.

[qualitygal]

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@Perkup wrote:

Thank you for this.  We all often wonder whether the time, the work, the dedication is appreciated. And we forget that in the years that went before, we might not have shown our appreciation to others.  A good reminder to show our love and appreciation for others today . . . don't wait until the opportunity has passed us by. We all take too much for granted.

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@Perkup, Good points!

[jaxs mom]

I do it because I want to and enjoy it. It's not a burden nor do I drive myself nuts. I don't do it for appreciation either. I like having something to look forward to, I don't want every day to just be the same.

My husband grew up with that and hated it. He spent every holiday at friends houses because his parents did nothing, and once he was an adult and moved out he cooked Thanksgiving dinner and did Christmas for his roommates. It actually took a couple years for me to get him to let me take over areas of the holidays after we got married. Now we both have our special areas and it's great. 

[jaxs mom]

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@Melania wrote:

OP you sound depressed.

If anyone has to think about if it makes a difference or there is some "reward" shows they didn't do it with the best intentions anyway. 

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I don't think the OP sounds depressed at all, but some of the replies are depressing.