Community Chat

[Mominohio]

I consider myself a realist. 

That is perceived as a pessimist to many people. 

I think there is such a thing as too much optimism. It can prevent people from taking real stock of serious or dangerous things in life and in the world, and doing things to prepare for them or prevent them, or be part of the solution for those things. 

I really can't stand to be around people who never think, talk about, or deal with the real things in life, but live in some happy utopia that just doesn't exist. They tend to call themselves optimists, but in reality they are simply avoiders. 

I also don't want to be around people who find the gloom first in every situation, no matter how small. 

That said, I get up most days happy and looking forward to what the day may bring. I don't automatically think the worst when the test comes back bad, or the news of the day isn't something I like or condone.

[Moonchilde]

@chickenbutt, I used to call my mom 'Pollyanna'. When she was a child, she lived from the age of about 5-6 to about 12 with a family for whom positive thinking was The Way To Look At Life, period.

My mom would parrot to me all the typical platitudes, but I knew it was just parroting what she'd heard - and as an adult didn't believe it, but kept using it like a mantra.

Even as a child (especially as a child, lol) I knew life was neither 100% perfect nor "happy", and that things didn't always turn out well.

So as a child when she would say it to me I would just think dark child-thoughts ;-) but as an adult I was "oh, pleeeze!" It always seemed plastic and more than a bit Stepford-y.

[Preds]

I'm both.  Depends on the conversation, my mood or the person or persons I'm dealing with or the situation.

[truffle]

Realists aren't always pessimists but their assumptions that bring them to their "realistic" points of view are not always correct but they certainly are entitled to think however they wish. Faulty thinking from not having enough information can be dangerous and often they do not want to listen to the opinions of others.  But if it doesn't affect me I couldn't care less.  

[jubilant]

I used to say, "I can always see the light at the end of a tunnel." I don't say that anymore. Instead, even when I can't see that light, I just know it's there. I'm an optimist!

[blackhole99]

I'm definitely a pessimist, I believe if any thing can go wrong it no doubt will. I have been disappointed too many times, even with preparation. The reason I'm not depressed all the time is because I won't give up and I've learned to be thick skinned. You can think positively if that helps you get through life, more power to you.

[Burnsite]

I've only read a few of the posts and perhaps someone else has already said this.

I like to figure out a Plan B and that is not being a pessimist. It is being a realist.  I like to think about potential problems before they occur and consider what might happen.  (I mean with important things--not with small things.)  Once I have Plan B I can relax. 

[cotton4me]

I agree with John that being a realist has nothing to do with being a pessimist or an optimist. One can be a realist and an optimist or vice versa.  I think it has to do with how one interprets events.

I just found this online article.  Here’s an excerpt. 

“There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.

“The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.

“For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.

“The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting from external factors over which one has little control.

“If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, ‘Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.’  The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him."

Link to full article: http://www.budbilanich.com/the-difference-between-optimists-and-pessimists/

[Moonchilde]

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@Burnsite wrote:

I've only read a few of the posts and perhaps someone else has already said this.

I like to figure out a Plan B and that is not being a pessimist. It is being a realist.  I like to think about potential problems before they occur and consider what might happen.  (I mean with important things--not with small things.)  Once I have Plan B I can relax. 

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Perfectly expressed. ITA.

[sassenach1]

I strive to have a positive out look. It is a challenge sometimes. I have stopped listening to, watching or reading news for the most part. The negativity from the media is relentless. I cannot do it anymore. I try to live daily with gratitude and love.