Community Chat

[Trinity11]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Sometimes, no matter how gently or kindly you disagree with someone, they'll still cry and say that you were mean to them.

It's like they want to be coddled.

Some people only want this place to be a sugar and spice, and everything nice fantasy world, where nary a negative word is said.

That's not realistic because it isn't real life.

If someone is so delicate that they can't handle someone disagreeing with them, no matter how nicely and gently it's done, then maybe they shouldn't leave the house, or go on line, because real life is way harsher than this place ever is.

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The problem is that some folks cannot tell the difference between outright rudeness and trying to be disagreeable and speaking their mind in a civil manner. That has nothing to do with coddling and everything to do with just being a ...... fill in the blank.

(not directed at you, PlaidPants, you're a favorite of mine on this board)

[SoX]

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

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@catwhisperer wrote:

I was recently scolded by a poster because she said I made the same comments on two different threads and that it was not necessary for me to do so. How ridiculous is that? LOL.

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Some people should apply for board monitor jobs.

I have a couple of candidates in mind.

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[QueenDanceALot]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Sometimes, no matter how gently or kindly you disagree with someone, they'll still cry and say that you were mean to them.

It's like they want to be coddled.

Some people only want this place to be a sugar and spice, and everything nice fantasy world, where nary a negative word is said.

That's not realistic because it isn't real life.

If someone is so delicate that they can't handle someone disagreeing with them, no matter how nicely and gently it's done, then maybe they shouldn't leave the house, or go on line, because real life is way harsher than this place ever is.

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True, but some people want that in real life, too.

Honestly, some days on message boards I read a lot more mean and ugly than I hear in a month in real life.

And Yes, I am out and about with real people.

People say stuff on the internet they'd never say to someone's face.

[KingstonsMom]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@goldensrbest wrote:

There are certain posters that just seem so harsh, when they reply to peoples threads.

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I seriously believe not everyone is born with the empathy gene. The people lacking have no real clue how they come off sounding with some of their responses.

Just be happy that you have empathy and are aware....not everyone is. Clueless comes to mine.

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IMO, some aren't clueless at all, evident by repeating the same behavior over & over, even when it's brought to their attention.

[Moonchilde]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Sometimes, no matter how gently or kindly you disagree with someone, they'll still cry and say that you were mean to them.

It's like they want to be coddled.

Some people only want this place to be a sugar and spice, and everything nice fantasy world, where nary a negative word is said.

That's not realistic because it isn't real life.

If someone is so delicate that they can't handle someone disagreeing with them, no matter how nicely and gently it's done, then maybe they shouldn't leave the house, or go on line, because real life is way harsher than this place ever is.

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The problem is that some folks cannot tell the difference between outright rudeness and trying to be disagreeable and speaking their mind in a civil manner. That has nothing to do with coddling and everything to do with just being a ...... fill in the blank.

(not directed at you, PlaidPants, you're a favorite of mine on this board)

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But that works both ways. Some people can't tell the difference between disagreeing or having a different opinion, even if it's stated bluntly, from deliberate rudeness.

There are many posters on these forums who write of being "attacked", trashed, spoken rudely to, etc. when they were not. I see fairly new posters get a single response from someone that they didn't feel was warm & fuzzy enough and boo-hoo in other threads for 2-3 days about how poorly they were treated - after at least half a dozen long-time posters have basically said "WHUT?"

There ARE posters who are invariably nasty, yes. And there are posters who seem to love to whiz in the cornflakes of just about everyone. But there are also just posters who simply refuse to cater to the "wrap me in cotton, always tell me what I want to hear or you're a big nasty meanie, you are!" persona. It gets old.

Yes, people are judged by the way they present themselves here - and that goes *both* ways.

[occasionalrain]

I have read every post on this thread, most are judgemental, some demeaning, even labeling. How is that respectful of fellow posters?

There are posters I enjoy and posters I dislike. There are threads that annoy me, ones that entertain me, and ones that enlighten me.

I can't  see any reason to judge fellow posters as cranky, unloved, or miserable. To do so is unjust.

[Buck-i-Nana]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Sometimes, no matter how gently or kindly you disagree with someone, they'll still cry and say that you were mean to them.

It's like they want to be coddled.

Some people only want this place to be a sugar and spice, and everything nice fantasy world, where nary a negative word is said.

That's not realistic because it isn't real life.

If someone is so delicate that they can't handle someone disagreeing with them, no matter how nicely and gently it's done, then maybe they shouldn't leave the house, or go on line, because real life is way harsher than this place ever is.

---

The problem is that some folks cannot tell the difference between outright rudeness and trying to be disagreeable and speaking their mind in a civil manner. That has nothing to do with coddling and everything to do with just being a ...... fill in the blank.

(not directed at you, PlaidPants, you're a favorite of mine on this board)

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But that works both ways. Some people can't tell the difference between disagreeing or having a different opinion, even if it's stated bluntly, from deliberate rudeness.

There are many posters on these forums who write of being "attacked", trashed, spoken rudely to, etc. when they were not. I see fairly new posters get a single response from someone that they didn't feel was warm & fuzzy enough and boo-hoo in other threads for 2-3 days about how poorly they were treated - after at least half a dozen long-time posters have basically said "WHUT?"

There ARE posters who are invariably nasty, yes. And there are posters who seem to love to whiz in the cornflakes of just about everyone. But there are also just posters who simply refuse to cater to the "wrap me in cotton, always tell me what I want to hear or you're a big nasty meanie, you are!" persona. It gets old.

Yes, people are judged by the way they present themselves here - and that goes *both* ways.

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Ay yi yi, I've seen the woe is me come up about something posted to them YEARS ago!!

Reality is we cannot change anyone, regardless of how we approach them about their posting "style."  All we can change is our own style if we think we aren't getting the types of responses we desire, and how we react to those we find to be nasty or blunt or whatever.

[Lipstickdiva]

This topic is rehashed over and over again.  Posters aren't going to change. 

[catwhisperer]

@Buck-i-Nana.....that is why I rarely ever start a thread and avoid certain posters. It's just not worth the aggravation.

[Trinity11]

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@Lipstickdiva wrote:

This topic is rehashed over and over again.  Posters aren't going to change. 

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You know, you are probably right. It's kind of window into the world of how others behave when nobody can actually see them. It can be quite enlightening...