Community Chat

[CrazyDaisy]

I have a new neighbor who I consider a "professional victim".  Everyone else is wrong. everyone should help her and very negative, so I tend to avoid her.  While looking a reviews of a local place her name came up with a post of a very negative review.  The owner responded with an offer of a free meal to make up for it.  Well courisity took over and I looked at other reviews she has posted.  Saw the same pattern with many other businesses. 

I googled professional victim and was amazed at all the information and studies concerning this matter.  It was interesting some of the reasons how and why people act that way.  Some want the sympathy and attention, others look for material gaines and others to justify their situation because of some wrong they feel has been done to them. 

After reading some of the articles you have to start to feel sorry for these people, in most cases they are doing this to themselves.  However it does explain a lot of how our society has evolved recently.

[phoenixbrd]

@CrazyDaisy You provided the answer for you ...."I avoid her".  When I can't avoid negative people (sometime we don't have a choice), I practice compassion and gently change the subject to a more pleasant topic or remove myself as politely as possible.  I don't indulge in negative conversation and I can't control how other's choose to live their lives, but I attempt to practice kindness.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@phoenixbrd wrote:

@CrazyDaisy You provided the answer for you ...."I avoid her".  When I can't avoid negative people (sometime we don't have a choice), I practice compassion and gently change the subject to a more pleasant topic or remove myself as politely as possible.  I don't indulge in negative conversation and I can't control how other's choose to live their lives, but I attempt to practice kindness.

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I have no intention of being rude, just not be drawn into her drama.

While have been aware that there are people like this, i was more interested in the victimhood aspect of society.

[wishmoon]

I think "Victimhood" is more of a "thing" today because ppl refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions resulting in blaming others. I, too, dislike this in ppl and steer clear of their drama.

[Buffalogal47]

"Victimhood". Standard definition: My poor life choices are always somebody else's fault." 

[dex]

I have a friend who is the nicest person and does so much for others but then she complains about it to the rest of us.She says people take advantage of her...is she a complainer?I can’t figure her out.I always say do want you enjoy doing and say no once in awhile if you are feeling overwhelmed.Other friends say she likes to be a victim.

[SilleeMee]

Seems to me that many people want to be victims rather than be heroes these days. Suing others for something and anything is much more 'profitable' and others may take sides with you in sympathy. But otoh, if you are a hero for saving the day then that seems to draw negativity and cause people to become envious and troll-like. You can't win for losing.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY

[Bri369]

I'm sure there were always chronic complainers and people who are constantly playing the victim.  I think because of the internet and social media we just hear about it more. 

I avoid those people like the plague.  I had an aunt like that.  She would just drain the life out of everyone with her constant complaining and always being wronged. 

[cherry]

I hate to say this ,but some people are really nasty. We go to a wonderful restaurant,  and have for years. My parents went there when they were newly married. The owners are wonderful people

They fired an employee for coming to work drunk. So she posted really nasty stuff about them having rats and flies ,and all manner of nasty things, all lies. I looked up her other posts and they were all nasty too

[traveler]

My mother is a victim or martyr.  Then she doesn’t understand why she pushes everyone away. It is true, all true.