Therapy for grief - Page 4

kivah · ‎03-11-2010

My needs were so simple - and several therapists had no clue. These were my experiences. Of course, there are always good ones - unfortunately, I never found one. Like I said, I "made myself healthy". Many people think therapy is the answer - and, most of the time, they'll be disappointed.

Beautiful life · ‎03-11-2010

Thanks everyone. I have written two letters to my mom and share it with my family. My letters are not all positive as I was hurt from my past. I will start writing letters to my mom about how I'm feeling and how much I miss her. I wish I did that when my father passed away 15 years ago. It took me along time to feel better over two years. I still had my mom and I used to be close to one of my brothers. I have no immediate family that I interact with.

I wish I was strong like my mom when her parents, my dad and my brother passed away. My mom felt horrible but she didn't let her effect her life.

I also didn't have pictures out. I still don't. I'll look through them but put them back.

I can't watch my wedding video.

I do get out of the house to go shopping, to eat out. I started to cook again.

I'll ask the therapist about my concerns. My daughter tells me the same things the therapist has told me. The difference is it's from someone else. I'm not religious so I don't belong to any church.

I have made myself sick today, the anxiety and crying got me a migraine. I'm going to get more exercise so I can feel better. I have bad dreams about my mom dying.

I do like to read so books are welcome especially non fiction. Thanks for the suggestion on the book.

Beautiful life · ‎03-11-2010

I don't have anyone to call, no friends. It was just mom and me and my family.

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

@Beautiful lifeI hope you're able to find solace soon. In time you will.

I've suffered two miscarriages and the first one was really devastating even though it was much earlier in the pregnancy. I found myself in a cycle of grief and what ifs. My husband was out of the country for work and I decided to stay back home due to the grief.

What helped me was to speak to the Father from the church at my university. He had baptized me before my wedding so he knew me well. Speaking to him and hearing his words of support and understanding broke the cycle of intense grief for me.

I agree with @Laura14 that writing helps. I had to break contact with my mom since she is so hurtful and unsupportive but recently I had a relapse due to a very hurtful text she sent me. I decided to write her a letter and to mail it to her but once I was done about 20 minutes later I realized that I had to need to send it. The burden was lifted. It was surreal.

So I recommend speaking to someone that you trust and that knows you and to write what hurts down so you can put it on paper. I cried so much as I wrote that letter and therefore I went through all the emotions and dealt with it. It was out of my mind and that allowed me to breathe and to feel calm.

I wish you the best.

~Live with Intention~

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

There are some people we lose ,that we never get over that feeling of loss, the tears still come ,that deep to the soul feeling of loss, never ends.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

You have to take you mind off of your grief.

Dwelling on the past isn't going to change the past, or do you any good.

Take an art class, at the local junior college, or community center.

Take up dancing, a writing class, something to get your mind off of your grief.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
You have to take you mind off of your grief.

Dwelling on the past isn't going to change the past, or do you any good.

Take an art class, at the local junior college, or community center.

Take up dancing, a writing class, something to get your mind off of your grief.

@Plaid Pants2 She has to work through the grief first. She can work out the past in therapy and hopefully gain new skills to deal with her grief.

Grief doesn't go away completely; right now grief is leading her. Eventually she will learn to walk next to grief for a time and then learn to lead the walk with grief slowly losing ground.

You just can't tell a person to let go of grief; it doesn't work that way. Her issues go beyond the death of her mom; there is much to work on here.

Her family is a focus right now, too. Reading books and journaling is ideal, too.

She doesn't appear ready to step outside of her inner circle and that cannot be rushed. Nor is it wrong.

Telling a person to just let go of grief is like telling a person to let go of a branch while dangling over a cliff because WE perceive a short drop. The fall may not be so deep but for her right now that fall seems unending.

Baby steps. One day at a time.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
You have to take you mind off of your grief.

Dwelling on the past isn't going to change the past, or do you any good.

Yes!! It can consume you if you let it.

I just lost my Mom in May...she made it very clear we were allowed to be sad but ...she loved us and we loved her and that will never change.

Image result for grief is just love with no place to go

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@Cakers3 wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
You have to take you mind off of your grief.

Dwelling on the past isn't going to change the past, or do you any good.

Take an art class, at the local junior college, or community center.

Take up dancing, a writing class, something to get your mind off of your grief.
@Plaid Pants2 She has to work through the grief first. She can work out the past in therapy and hopefully gain new skills to deal with her grief.

Grief doesn't go away completely; right now grief is leading her. Eventually she will learn to walk next to grief for a time and then learn to lead the walk with grief slowly losing ground.

You just can't tell a person to let go of grief; it doesn't work that way. Her issues go beyond the death of her mom; there is much to work on here.

Her family is a focus right now, too. Reading books and journaling is ideal, too.
She doesn't appear ready to step outside of her inner circle and that cannot be rushed. Nor is it wrong.

Telling a person to just let go of grief is like telling a person to let go of a branch while dangling over a cliff. The fall may not be so deep but for her right now that fall seems unending.

Baby steps. One day at a time.

@Cakers3

I'm not telling her to "get over it".

But, constantly dwelling on what can't be changed 24/7, isn't healthy.

Distractions, such as art (therapy), or dancing (which is doing something physical - same as exercise), will help to take her mind off of her grief, even for a short while.

What's journaling?

Journaling is writing, is it not?

Taking a writing class, is another way to temporarily, distract the mind from the grief.

They are ways of working throught the grief.

seaBreeze · ‎02-04-2014

@Beautiful life

My dear, I am sorry you are going through these "dark hours" in your life--sadly, part of life is saying goodbye, and loved ones who go before us would not want us grief stricken forever. I know I do not want my family in mourning all the time--actually I want the opposite--to be happy that I had them "in this journey called life." Time does heal, but one has to find their own path to cope. You mentioned you were not religious, for me, that is the only thing that gets me through the heaviness of life. Hugs.