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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,546
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

@esmerelda wrote:

Wow @Laura14!  What wisdom!

 

The writing...I did and still do that.  And like you I don't re-read it.  

 

Wonderful words.  I hope @Firestripes sees them.


@esmerelda  I think it's the best kept secret in the world.  I don't do a regular journal even though I write short stories like mad but it was perfect for this.  I'm glad it helped you too.  Smiley Happy  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

@Laura14

Beautifuly said, brought tears to my eyes. It was also good advice, I am going to start writing.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,186
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I once went to this male therapist and told him of my financial problems. All he kept talking about was "how I could find a job". I know how to find a job --- I didn't need his input!!!!!

Another time, I went to a female therapist. Her waiting room was around 10'x10' (tiny) - and the "therapy room" wasn't much larger. While I was speaking to her, hercleaning lady came in and started vacuuming the waiting area. HUH!!!!!

Another time I went to another female therapist and she was LATE!!!! I waited for her to arrive. Then she told me she had to pick up her cat. OK - I give up!!!!

 

My best friend Brenda, who passed away last year,was married to a man who was a marriage/family therapist. Brenda dated him for at least 5 years - and then Brenda got pregnant (all planned) --- and Ben was afraid to get married or even live with her. Finally, they got married when their daughter was 2 years old - and she was the flower girl.

 

Most therapists NEED A THERAPIST!!!!! That's why they go into this profession.

Time does heal..

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,697
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

You have to give therapy time and find the right therapist. There are very good therapists out there but you have to find the right match.

 

I wouldn't expect much progress after 2 sessions but if you think your wasting your time, tell the therapist. Even if you like your therapist, it doesn't mean she's the right match for you at this time. Have you asked the therapist about how to find a group. As someone mentioned, churches often have grief groups.

 

Healing is  a journey and I wish you well on yours.

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.
Contributor
Posts: 21
Registered: ‎02-26-2011

I am so glad that I stopped to read the replys. I lost my beloved husband of 25 years on May 20, 2017. I feel like I am in a fog, just going through to motions. I considered going to group therapy, but could not make myself go. I feel like I gained so many good suggestions, and am going to start a journal now. I want to thank you for your ideas. OP my deepest sympathy for your loss. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,525
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

@texasmari...I am so sorry. (((Hugs)))

 

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,679
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

@Firestripes

 

In therapy YOU do the work.  Thr therapist won't tell you the answers for how YOU cope because we're all different.

 

The therapist will lead you through a series of questions & comments about which you should think seriously.  Try to think and say WHY you feel the way you do with regards to the questions. That's how you learn what is contributing to your grief.

 

Expecting improvements in two sessions is really too soon.

 

Best wishes.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,021
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: Therapy for grief

[ Edited ]

@kivah wrote:

I once went to this male therapist and told him of my financial problems. All he kept talking about was "how I could find a job". I know how to find a job --- I didn't need his input!!!!!

Another time, I went to a female therapist. Her waiting room was around 10'x10' (tiny) - and the "therapy room" wasn't much larger. While I was speaking to her, hercleaning lady came in and started vacuuming the waiting area. HUH!!!!!

Another time I went to another female therapist and she was LATE!!!! I waited for her to arrive. Then she told me she had to pick up her cat. OK - I give up!!!!

 

My best friend Brenda, who passed away last year,was married to a man who was a marriage/family therapist. Brenda dated him for at least 5 years - and then Brenda got pregnant (all planned) --- and Ben was afraid to get married or even live with her. Finally, they got married when their daughter was 2 years old - and she was the flower girl.

 

Most therapists NEED A THERAPIST!!!!! That's why they go into this profession.

Time does heal..


 

            Most therapists need a therapist and do see a counselor now and then, and they don't feel shame admitting it... because there is no shame in needing a therapist.   It's not an easy profession, especially for those who care deeply.   And many of them do.    I'm very sorry for your loss, @kivah.❤️   It's painful to lose a friend...  someone close to me passed away not long ago under tragic circumstances, and I'm still broken inside and trying to sort out what happened.

            There are good therapists, bad ones, and those who are average.   It is not unlike any other profession in that respect.    

            Unfortunately, there's still a stigma regarding anything associated with mental health issues...  and the tendency to negatively stereotype therapists perpetuates that stigma.

            I am alive today because of caring, compassionate, gifted, dedicated therapists.   May God bless each and every one of them.   I add them to my list of gratitudes daily.

❤️

 

⭐️Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Howard W. Newton⭐️
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,779
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

So sorry for your loss. I have never had therapy.

I cried every day for a long time. I hated it when people asked how was I or they knew how I felt. I can say the pain gets better with time but it's always remains in your heart with all the memories. My mom died 37 yrs ago today. She was only 47.  I was only 22.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,525
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

@Nightowlz...(((Hugs))) 

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.