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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,021
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

texasmari wrote:

I am so glad that I stopped to read the replys. I lost my beloved husband of 25 years on May 20, 2017. I feel like I am in a fog, just going through to motions. I considered going to group therapy, but could not make myself go. I feel like I gained so many good suggestions, and am going to start a journal now. I want to thank you for your ideas. OP my deepest sympathy for your loss. 


 

            (((@texasmari))),  I'm so sorry.   I've walked that path, too.   You have my condolences, and I hope it's okay if I say a prayer for you, too.   (((gentle hugs)))Heart

 

⭐️Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Howard W. Newton⭐️
Valued Contributor
Posts: 909
Registered: ‎12-18-2012

I listened to the author Eldon Taylor this week on the radio. 

He used this therapy for a patient.  I have begun this exercise.

Every morning the first thing you do is to Smile.  Your brain does not know that this might be a fake smile.  It still releases endorphins.

2nd, you do one nice thing a day and write down how it affected you and the other person.

The 2nd week you do 2 nice things a day and so on.  He said by the fifth week his patient had her medication reduced by 1/2.

I am going to try it for anxiety.  It can't hurt.

An opportunity presented itself last night when a first time aquaintance admired my necklace.  I told her what I was doing and gave her my necklace.  I got a big hug!

I lost my mother a year ago and I understand how you are feeling and offer you best wishes.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,021
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Lapdog wrote:

I listened to the author Eldon Taylor this week on the radio. 

He used this therapy for a patient.  I have begun this exercise.

Every morning the first thing you do is to Smile.  Your brain does not know that this might be a fake smile.  It still releases endorphins.

2nd, you do one nice thing a day and write down how it affected you and the other person.

The 2nd week you do 2 nice things a day and so on.  He said by the fifth week his patient had her medication reduced by 1/2.

I am going to try it for anxiety.  It can't hurt.

An opportunity presented itself last night when a first time aquaintance admired my necklace.  I told her what I was doing and gave her my necklace.  I got a big hug!

I lost my mother a year ago and I understand how you are feeling and offer you best wishes.


 

            @Lapdog,  My eyes welled up with tears as I read your post.   Thank you for sharing this.❤️   I'm sending another big (((hug))) to you across the miles...  I hope you can feel it.  

 

⭐️Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Howard W. Newton⭐️
Valued Contributor
Posts: 909
Registered: ‎12-18-2012

@dooBdoo  I do feel your hug so much.  Thank-you.  Sometimes life is just hard.  You have made mine softer tonight.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,021
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Lapdog wrote:

@dooBdoo  I do feel your hug so much.  Thank-you.  Sometimes life is just hard.  You have made mine softer tonight.


 

           Oh, dear @Lapdog.   Through the tears, the healing tears, you have made mine softer tonight, too.   Thank you.❤️

 

⭐️Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Howard W. Newton⭐️
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Loss hurts and changes life as we know it. I'm so sorry for those who are walking through loss and disppointment. Whatever you can do to stay upright and find a reason to smile, please try. My mom died when I was 12. Military dad told us kids we had a week to grieve, then back to school. She had a long illness. When dad passed I was 39. I knew more about the grieving process by that time. Acceptance was my friend. Accepting so many things affected by loss helped me greatly. I trust life will be kind to those who are suffering.   

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,021
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: Therapy for grief

[ Edited ]

 

             @Firestripes,  I decided to separate this out from my earlier post.  There's so much good advice on this thread.   I think the best advice, from my experience, is that of being open with the counselor -- you should be telling her the 2nd visit felt exactly like the first, asking her what you should expect, letting her know specifically how you feel.   If you don't, she cannot help you.    

            Also very good advice is that the help doesn't come in one visit.   Therapy is a process of 2 people working together toward a common goal.    And those things worth achieving usually are not quick or easy.

            I posted to you on your earlier thread with other thoughts and suggestions so I won't repeat those here.   My heart goes out to you, and you remain in my prayers.❤️

 

⭐️Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Howard W. Newton⭐️
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,527
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

@jeanlake...you are one strong lady.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,728
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Firestripes - our church has a group that meets at our church. The group is called To Live Again. It is for grief. 

 

I am not sure if the group has other groups or not. Maybe you can look into a group at a local church. 

 

Our church also has Weight Watchers, Red Cross Blood Drive, Montessori school and a food bank. So we have all kinds of groups meeting at our church.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,903
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

@Firestripes,

I sincerely hope you are pushing yourself each day to be active, and work thru your grief.   Therapy/counseling helps, but I don't think it's realistic to pin your hopes on just doing one thing, and expect it to be your total fix.  

 

Do you leave the house every day?   Do you meet friends for coffee, lunch, or a movie?   Do you get out and walk in your neighborhood, or walk at the mall?   Do you call, or visit other people?   You must find something to do every day to help push yourself forward, not stay in the house dwelling on your moms passing, and re-living anything you wish you'd have done differently.   

 

I have not attended therapy.   My 2 friends who grieved hardest for their losses really had to push themselves hard to get out of their homes every day.   One friend kept her house dark, like a tomb, and had to be forced to get out and about.   Both friends lived inside city limits, and eventually learned that even a walk around the block, or a quick trip for coffee and food lifted their spirits.  That first walk around the block was forced, but it helped, and it grew into more frequent walks, longer walks, and walks with older neighbors who were afraid to get out and walk alone.  

 

Just waiting for the next therapy appointment wasn't enough, my friends had to help themselves with some type of mental or physical activity every day.