Community Chat

[Ms tyrion2]

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@cherry wrote:

@Bird mama  I think a lot of employers strong armed their employees to give to the united fund, After it was discovered that funds were being embezzled,  that stopped PDQ

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That happened to me...once.

A manager returned my United Way form and suggested "I could do better".  I did a little "better" and never gave again.

[CLEM]

For a minute there I thought you actually gave her gifts for all these occasions.  I am glad you didn't.

Perhaps she only got married so she could get all these gifts.  People like that - well...............

[pigletsmom]

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@Ms tyrion2 wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

@Bird mama  I think a lot of employers strong armed their employees to give to the united fund, After it was discovered that funds were being embezzled,  that stopped PDQ

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That happened to me...once.

A manager returned my United Way form and suggested "I could do better".  I did a little "better" and never gave again.

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I worked for a place that did this United Way stuff too. They would tell you that you didn't have to give but that people would remember. I gave 5 bucks and that was it and never did it again. Why give to one big organization and have them pass on it when I can give directly to the charity I want?

[GCR18]

At this point, I would act like you don't know about the comments.

[LTT1]

@BirkiLady

I agree she is tacky, tacky, tacky.

Not everyone would agree. DD seems to have lost a friend that our family considers our 2nd daughter.

Her value system is contemporary in the worst way and I thought she valued our friendship. 

She ended up having a very privileged life, but did not prefer our level of “wedding contributions.” (Long story)

So, I think it was best that she severed ties with us.

The friends I have and admire most would never attach a “list” of any sort to an invitation. They also limit gift-giving and appear, to me, to have good etiquette and taste.

[Rockycoast]

She is about the most tacky gift grabber I have read about. Shower/Wedding gifts are not supposed to finance the wedding or the honeymoon. End of story. Telling what to specifically give is beyond the pale.  You were so great at not sending her anything but a card. That is all she deserved. Maybe your laughing at her statement about you will get back to her and now she won't be bothering you any more.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@Witchy Woman  I somehow missed your previous post; just now read your description of people "twitching down the aisle," BWAHAHAHA!!!!! 

Oh I wish I could've seen your husband's face!

[VaBelle35]

I'm the United Way administrator for our region.  Everything is done online now and the only way I know who donates and how much is if I were to go in there and look.  I have no reason to go in and look at anything unless there is a technical problem the person is having or they ask me to look to make sure they completed the sign up correctly.

I have my own thoughts on UW and honestly I prefer to donate directly to the organizations I want to support.  I don't need help donating, but I have found that young people like donating this way.  It's no different than the CFC for government employees.  Many like not having to think about who to donate to.

[TenderMercies]

For someone who begins her post by saying she has reached the age where she just doesn't care, she certainly goes on, at length, to prove otherwise.  

Maybe it's just a regional thing, but where I grew up, people have weddings, wedding showers, and baby showers, and all of these can sometimes include having registries.  They're perfectly socially acceptable.  There's no rule that you have to follow the registry, but trying to buy a gift for someone could be a real pain, so I think they actually help you out.  I'd rather give someone something they want and/or need rather than the opposite.  Some may call it greedy, but to me, it's helpful and is a win-win for both sides.  The subject of the OP's post may actually have a very large family and lots of friends and coworkers who intend to buy her gifts.  Registries help curtail situations where she might end up with 6 Vitamixes or 3 different china patterns.  

I know the topic of the "honeyfund" has been discussed and caused a great deal of division here in the past.  I think it's a great way of personalizing a gift, because a large percentage of wedding gifts are usually cash.  When friends of mine got married recently, I purchased lunch for them at a restaurant where they were spending their honeymoon.  In their Thank You card, they mentioned that they toasted me and talked about our friendships over the lunch.  That's much more special to me than having them open a card and throw a $100 bill on a pile.