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Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Actually , as far as duel incomes go - by the time women pay for work appropriate clothing, a second car & it's maintainence , insurance and operating cost plus add lunches and child care costs. Subtract that from that second salary and consider that your children are being partially raised by someone other than you & you may decide you don't really need to work. yes, one income families must watch their expenses but it is do able, esp. when you consider what is best for your children.

As for my personal choice to have a career - along with that choice was the fact that I was not able to have children. if i had a child I would have stayed home. I stayed home with my stepchildren when my first  husband was alive and I was able to do so, I worked only 2 shifts a week and they were nights when their father was home with them.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 29,716
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

I understand what the OP and some others are saying.  I was born in the 40's and understand the way of life for some, I also understand it was a different way of life for others.  It's always that way, even and especially now.

 

I don't believe in the good old days.  I believe the good old days (meaning days when we realize life is pretty good, not financially, but mentally) is what you're living now.  That's not to say it is good for everyone, that's to say (my opinion) make the most of it.  It you don't like it, work hard, make it better.

 

I think if you yearn for tomorrow you are wishing away your life.  You know, "I can't wait until so and so".  There are many people who have had difficult childhoods (I'm one of them), but I always knew one day I'd have a good life.  Until then it was what it was. 

 

I feel there are many people who are like me (people, including the OP was probably like that).  I think some misunderstood what they were saying.

 

Here's my version.  I'd like to see a time when the majority of people in this country had values where they weren't 'tested' to have them shown (like 9/11).  I'd like to see TV on regular channels where people didn't have s,e, x  or be shown laying in bed (unclothed), etc.  I'd like to see a time where we respected teachers (and supported them), gave our military more support and more importantly made it so our veterans (especially the wounded) wanted for little or nothing.  I'd like to see more respect shown to the police (but also have them better trained where they knew other options other than use their guns so often).  I'd like to see the prisions less full because people knew that if they broke the law they wouldn't be watching TV or get computers or use of a phone and they'd be in there for a l-o-n-g time if guilty. 

 

I'd like to see a time where I didn't have to push 1 for English (the key here is better education for everyone).  Silicone Valley is yelling "We need educated workers.  We don't care what color they are".  I know because my relative lives and works there.  He says we are going to regret this lack of knowledgeable people and it will be soon.

 

I won't go on.  This what I'd like to see.  Call it in the future.  I prefer not to because then I'd be wishing my life away, and I already said I don't want to do that.  My guess is that's what the OP and some were thinking (at least a few of my bla bla's were).

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,647
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I agree with the Op.  When we were kids, we went outside and played, no computers, no cell phones, the family sat down and ate together, the wife usually stayed home and took care of the house and her children, no day care centers where very young children are brought up by strangers and mothers miss their child's first word or first step.  

 

No calling companies and having to go through multiple automated systems before, or even if you could, speak with a real live person.  When you called companies, you spoke with people right here in the U.S., no outsourcing to foreign countries, when there are so many people right here that need jobs.  All our ancestors learned the English language because they were happy to be in America.  No killings of innocent young people and children in schools, which seems to be a daily occurrence.  No bullying where young people take their own precious lives.  

 

And more important, we were proud to be an American because we loved this country and we were respected by other countries, not like today.   So yes, I do believe those were the Good old days where you weren't afraid to go anywhere and not live in such a stressed environment.   

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,051
Registered: ‎08-05-2011

It seems like older folks talk about the olden days so much they forget to live their here and now.  

 

It is best to keep talking about the future, and looking forward to a wonderful future.

 

If some say they do not see a wonderful future.   Well make it a wonderful future.  Go do something wonderful with your life.   Keep living.  Your life is what you do with it daily.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,144
Registered: ‎03-04-2015

I miss the good ole days.It's a scary dirty world we live in today....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,953
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@151949 wrote:

Actually , as far as duel incomes go - by the time women pay for work appropriate clothing, a second car & it's maintainence , insurance and operating cost plus add lunches and child care costs. Subtract that from that second salary and consider that your children are being partially raised by someone other than you & you may decide you don't really need to work. yes, one income families must watch their expenses but it is do able, esp. when you consider what is best for your children.

As for my personal choice to have a career - along with that choice was the fact that I was not able to have children. if i had a child I would have stayed home. I stayed home with my stepchildren when my first  husband was alive and I was able to do so, I worked only 2 shifts a week and they were nights when their father was home with them.


..................................

 

You have to catch up, HH.   My MD is a woman, our family lawyer is a woman. Both are mothers.  Women are CEOs now, technology leaders.  They aren't a second income as you think in many cases.  They can be the main source of income.  

 

What is best for children is having good role models and happy and fulfilled mothers and fathers. Sometimes that means staying home with children, sometimes it means working outside the home.

 

Back in the really old days, women worked on the family farm, they worked full time.

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,953
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The good ole days

[ Edited ]

@Luvtoshopathome wrote:

I agree with the Op.  When we were kids, we went outside and played, no computers, no cell phones, the family sat down and ate together, the wife usually stayed home and took care of the house and her children, no day care centers where very young children are brought up by strangers and mothers miss their child's first word or first step.  

 

No calling companies and having to go through multiple automated systems before, or even if you could, speak with a real live person.  When you called companies, you spoke with people right here in the U.S., no outsourcing to foreign countries, when there are so many people right here that need jobs.  All our ancestors learned the English language because they were happy to be in America.  No killings of innocent young people and children in schools, which seems to be a daily occurrence.  No bullying where young people take their own precious lives.  

 

And more important, we were proud

 

to be an American because we loved this country and we were respected by other countries, not like today.   So yes,

 

"I do believe those were the Good old days where you weren't afraid to go anywhere and not live" in such a stressed environment. " 


..............................

 

That was true for some of us, not so much for people of color.

 

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

In our Pittsburgh neighborhoods we walked to elementary school with the other kids from our neighborhood and our brothers and sisters. We all walked together and played together and no one excessively bullied anyone or else we other kids would have stopped them. We knew perfectly well right from wrong and if some kid did not know - we kids taught them both by older kids telling  them and by the example we all lived. Of course at times some kids picked on other kids but it was never excessive.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@NoelSeven wrote:

@151949 wrote:

Actually , as far as duel incomes go - by the time women pay for work appropriate clothing, a second car & it's maintainence , insurance and operating cost plus add lunches and child care costs. Subtract that from that second salary and consider that your children are being partially raised by someone other than you & you may decide you don't really need to work. yes, one income families must watch their expenses but it is do able, esp. when you consider what is best for your children.

As for my personal choice to have a career - along with that choice was the fact that I was not able to have children. if i had a child I would have stayed home. I stayed home with my stepchildren when my first  husband was alive and I was able to do so, I worked only 2 shifts a week and they were nights when their father was home with them.


..................................

 

You have to catch up, HH.   My MD is a woman, our family lawyer is a woman. Both are mothers.  Women are CEOs now, technology leaders.  They aren't a second income as you think in many cases.  They can be the main source of income.  

 

What is best for children is having good role models and happy and fulfilled mothers and fathers. Sometimes that means staying home with children, sometimes it means working outside the home.

 

Back in the really old days, women worked on the family farm, they worked full time.


 

 

So because the mother is a professional person with a high income does that mean her children do not need their mother at home for them???? Do you have a clue the hours these professional women work per week ? And the effect on their children of hardly ever seeing their mother? Most professional women are married to professional men so , in those cases, neither parent is home with them. We will NEVER agree on this - IMO - if you have a child then you have a responsibility to raise them. If your career is more important - maybe you should not have children.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,044
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The good ole days

[ Edited ]

We look at the past through rose colored glasses. Our memories are distorted by our need to remove the discomfort of reality and truth. My parents and grandparents also spoke about the good old days. Those days also included the Depression and emigration from war torn Europe and the Holocaust. Yet to hear them speak in their nostalgic memories, life was wonderful until questioned for specifics.


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown