Community Chat

[mistriTsquirrel]

On 3/5/2014 kittymomNC said:

On 3/5/2014 mistriTsquirrel said:

On 3/5/2014 kittymomNC said:

Sorry to add a sad note, but in the car driving my Mom to the last of her radiation treatments for a brain tumor, the country song "Diamond in the Dust" by Mark Gray. It was actually a romantic song, but the lyrics "She was a diamond in the dust, shine beneath the rust, someone that I could trust....." made me think what a diamond she was in spite of the drastic changes in her due to her illness. I lost her a couple of months later, but recorded that song and cannot hear it now without tears - she was a real "diamond"......This is on my mind now because her birthday would be March 7.

On a happier note, the songs on Meat Loaf's Bat Out of H-ll album - I was a single mom and took my son to the beach when he was about 13-14 and we sang at the top of our lungs all the way there and back in a Camaro with the T-tops off! What wonderful memories!

kittymom, my dad's birthday is March 7th also. I cry thinking about it, because I know it may be his last.

We will find out in a couple weeks if the cancer has spread further. I'm kind of expecting them to tell us it has.

I hear "For What It's Worth" by the Cardigans playing at work sometimes, and this part makes me think of him:

"For what it's worth, I love you
And what is worse, I really do..."

I'm having a really hard time watching my family struggle. And I'm afraid my dad will die, and I'll still be wondering whether or not he ever really loved me.

Maybe if you spend some quiet time thinking over your life and try to find the good things about your Dad, it will answer your question. There were times when I wondered exactly how my Dad felt because he was not at all demonstrative and there were some problems, but I think of small individual things he did that may not have meant that much at the time, but in hindsight I can see that, added together, it does tell me how much he loved me. Best wishes to you....

Thanks, kittymom.

I hope you can find a peaceful time to think about your mom's life and what she gave you today.

I have to work a shift, but I will be headed to my parents' house afterwards to spend time with my dad on his birthday.

[LilacTree]

On 3/5/2014 mistriTsquirrel said:

On 3/5/2014 Ford1224 said:

Yes, very much. I play music every single day (TV on, but muted, it's the music that fills my space). All genres of music, and so many mirror my long life that it would take a book to go through them all.

All I can say is that it would be a hard pick for me if I had to choose between deaf or blind.

Excellent post Mistri, I may contribute again as it expands.

Thanks, Ford.

I don't know which I would pick if I had to choose either. I tend to think that I would choose to lose my sight rather than my hearing, but our society puts sight at a premium, I believe...it would be harder to get along without sight than without hearing, I think.

Yes, interesting topic in and of itself. I think they can do more to enhance deafness than they can to bring back sight, but I could be wrong about that.

I've been trying to compile in my head the music I love. It's a huge deal for me, because first I would have to separate it into genres, as I love almost all music (I eliminate "rap" which I don't consider music, but that could be my age).

That could be a good project for me someday! I know there is a lot of music my kids associate with me because they tell me that all the time. How they remember the music I used to play every day. There was hardly ever a time in our house when music was not being played, and a lot of the music I love came from them and the music they played.

[wagnerdancer]

"It's Only the Good Times I Remember" by Tommy Edwards - reminds me of my first real boyfriend - he's gone but never, ever forgotten.

[mshappy1]

When I was going through a divorce I constantly played the CD Pieces of You by Jewel.

All of the songs had some meaning, they either made me cry, gave me comfort or made me smile. When I met my wonderful new husband, I was surprised to find out that it was one of his favorite CDs too.

[mistriTsquirrel]

On 3/5/2014 Azcowgirl said: My Dad was not an outwardly demonstrative or affectionate person either. My Mom was the one I was close to in life, yet my Dad is the one who's presence I feel so strongly now. One day while going through old pictures albums, I found one of my Dad and I when I must have been two years old. His arms around me and the most adoring look n his eyes. I made that picture the wall paper on my phone, and now every day I can see that adoring loving picture and It makes me feel like my Daddy is watching over me. eta....A couple years before I lost him, I burned a cd for him of all of his favorite songs. I found that cd when going through things in his house and so many times have found comfort in listening to those songs again and feeling his presence near me.( I truly believe that our lives don't end when our earthly bodies depart , but that we go on to another dimension somewhere.)

I hope I can find a picture like the one you found of you and your dad, Azcowgirl. I'm sure there will be things my brother and I will find only after our parents have passed...and I hope those things will help us be at peace.

[RainCityGirl]

I don't know about my whole life, but the year my dad died, Sarah McLoughlin's I Will Remember You played on the radio constantly. I was particularly taken with the lyric,"Don't let your life pass you by. Weep not for the memory."

[dooBdoo]

Great thread, mistri!

I've always been a huge fan of just about every genre of music. And "soundtrack of your life" is so apropos. For me, there are far too many to list. Unfortunately, so much of it makes me sad, especially when I'm going through depression -- I'm 'way too sensitive to music and the memories or emotions evoked by it. Right now I'm trying to compile a positive, uplifting music list and I've picked up a few ideas here. Thanks for the thread and the heartfelt contributions. We have some wonderful posters, don't we.

[skuggles]

Every time I hear Sade's BabyFather, I almost cry. It is a reminder to me that my father really could not have cared less about me even though he was there, and I think there are a lot of little kids running around who are crying because of the same, and their dads aren't there. I cry for them too.

"Your daddy know you're a flame

Even to the angels it may sound like a lie

For you child

He has the troops and extra backup standing by

For you child

For you he's the best he can be

For you child

For you he's the best he can be

Oh child don't you know

Your daddy love come with a life time guarantee"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoHWjG6LUsA

[mistriTsquirrel]

On 3/6/2014 Azcowgirl said: And then there are those songs that from the very first time that you hear them, they give you goose bumps and you just can't get enough and want to hear them over and over ? I've had songs like that that I call my driving songs, and I crank them loud and sing along till I have no voice left (:

There's this song called "Prescription" by Mindless Self Indulgence that has that effect on me. If you ignore the subject matter, it's actually a pretty upbeat song.

[mistriTsquirrel]

On 3/6/2014 ennui1 said:

On 3/5/2014 mistriTsquirrel said:

I'm having a really hard time watching my family struggle. And I'm afraid my dad will die, and I'll still be wondering whether or not he ever really loved me.

mistri, if your dad enrolls in hospice care, be sure to ask them about therapy. Most hospice programs offer grief therapy at no charge, and I think it may help you.

Yes. There's a Grief 101 class they have you take before you can take part in their groups. My mom and I were supposed to go to one together, but she stood me up (that was the same day she knew I was coming over to take my dad to chemo early in the morning, and she took him 15 minutes early, so I wouldn't go. ) Anyway, I can go by myself, I just have to sign up for one that takes place at a time I'm not at work or helping my parents or something.

I already started back in counseling with a counselor I used to see who was helpful to me...so she already knows me.

My dad has an appointment about a week from now to find out the results of his CT scan. We will know then if the cancer has spread further. I suspect they will tell us it has, so it won't be a shock to me if they tell us that, but I want to be there anyway, because I'm sure my dad will be upset.

Overall, I feel that he is gradually coming to accept how ill he is...but I wish he would get counseling as well.