The Silent Treatment - Page 5

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

I would not be around anyone who behaved in that manner. I know that's easy for me to say. My family is not like that. I would not have married my wonderful husband had he exhibited behavior of that type. It's inexcusable, childish, passive aggressive. There is nothing you can do about it but be quiet yourself. Pushing won't help. I had a friend years ago who tried that. Needless to say, we aren't friends anymore. She kept calling and asking why I seemed to have dropped her. I told her it was because I am an upbeat, positive person, and I am direct. I don't play games. She seemed to want to find something to pick fights about and then she would do the silent thing. I told her she had issues that I wasn't prepared to deal with and wished her good luck and perhaps a bit of counseling. I will dig in and talk with people who want to talk, even about tough issues. I can deal with that. Angry silence? No.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

If someone wants to not enjoy my company, their loss. I've got better things to do and, not once, have I ever woken up and said to myself 'I'm going to have a really bad day and not enjoy myself if this person doesn't talk to me.'

Never. And I do speak from experience. My father has ignored me for over 25 years and counting. His loss because I am wonderful and frankly it is the ultimate definitive testament to his character (not mine) as a non-quality human being. I grew up a long time ago. It's a shame other people don't seem to reach the same level of maturity.

You can be angry at someone and say "I just don't want to talk to you right now" and be an adult for as long as you need to take rather than have someone guess when you will deign to speak to them again.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Why do people think they need to lie on a couch or bed for weeks and weeks after an operation? It is the worst thing one can do. She was WRONG - he was RIGHT. She needed to get on her feet. I was back to work, lifting patients and on my feet all day 6 weeks after my hyster.

jaxs mom · ‎04-18-2012

@LilacTree wrote:
@jaxs mom wrote:
@LilacTree wrote:
@cherry wrote:
There is a difference between not fighting with someone and giving them the cold shoulder completely imo
@cherry
I agree completely, and feel the "fight" is healthier than not speaking for days at a time (actually all the time . . . on and off).
Maybe the other person doesn't like fighting and is sick and tired of talking about it. There are people out there that think that talking about it and saying you're sorry is what matters and then go on to do the exact same thing that caused the problem in the first place. Eventually people get sick of talking about something that has proven it's never going to change.

I know I'd talk to my mom a lot more if it was actually enjoyable, but all she does is complain about other people, especially her husband who doesn't deserve it. Even more annoying is that it's often people I don't even know. It's too much work to try and steer the conversation to something safe all the time.
@jaxs mom
In this case, there is no fighting, no talking about it . . . no communication at all.

Which means she's hit her limit on talking and fighting over it. People don't stop talking to other people for no reason. The only reason I still talk to my mom is because when I didn't, she sent the cops to my house convinced that the house blew up or something. We were out of town.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval

dmod nj · ‎10-04-2011

@momtochloe wrote:
@Preds wrote:
I enjoyed the silence until they couldn't stand it any longer. Didn't bother me. It was their choice.
I couldn't agree more @Preds. For me, it was a nice reprieve from sniping and nitpicking.

@Hi @Preds and @momtochloe, I could not agree more!! I looked forward to the silence.

@momtochloe, did you know my mother when I was growing up? lol

You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the girl. Jersey Girl living in CNY.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@jaxs mom wrote:
@LilacTree wrote:
@jaxs mom wrote:
@LilacTree wrote:
@cherry wrote:
There is a difference between not fighting with someone and giving them the cold shoulder completely imo
@cherry
I agree completely, and feel the "fight" is healthier than not speaking for days at a time (actually all the time . . . on and off).
Maybe the other person doesn't like fighting and is sick and tired of talking about it. There are people out there that think that talking about it and saying you're sorry is what matters and then go on to do the exact same thing that caused the problem in the first place. Eventually people get sick of talking about something that has proven it's never going to change.

I know I'd talk to my mom a lot more if it was actually enjoyable, but all she does is complain about other people, especially her husband who doesn't deserve it. Even more annoying is that it's often people I don't even know. It's too much work to try and steer the conversation to something safe all the time.
@jaxs mom
In this case, there is no fighting, no talking about it . . . no communication at all.
Which means she's hit her limit on talking and fighting over it. People don't stop talking to other people for no reason. The only reason I still talk to my mom is because when I didn't, she sent the cops to my house convinced that the house blew up or something. We were out of town.

@jaxs mom

We have never fought about it. She became a victim because of the verbal and emotional abuse she took from her ex for 18 years married and which he continues to this day. Since then she has become ill and, I think, desperately needs help. But obviously not from me.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

dmod nj · ‎10-04-2011

Hi Ford,

I don't use it. It was used on me by my mother. Like Preds and mtc, I relished the quiet. LOL It did not have the desired outcome.

I speak with someone if I have an issue with them.

You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the girl. Jersey Girl living in CNY.

mac116 · ‎03-26-2010

My mother-in-law did this to us when we were a 20 something couple with two young boys and very little money. She felt slighted when she was not the center of attention (I was overwhelmed with my life at the time), and she did not speak to us for a months and months. My sons are in their 40s now, and to be honest, our family's relationship with "Granny" has never been good. I would never do that to someone...ever!

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@dmod nj wrote:
Hi Ford,

I don't use it. It was used on me by my mother. Like Preds and mtc, I relished the quiet. LOL It did not have the desired outcome.

I speak with someone if I have an issue with them.

@dmod nj

Does nothing. I get a blank stare for a few seconds and a walkout. Now I've said too much.

Thanks to all of you for your experiences and opinions. You always come through.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

My mother was the queen of the silent treatment. Then all of a sudden she would start talking to whoever peeved her off, as if nothing ever happened. Because of that, I had a very hard time communicating with anyone I was upset with because my tendency was to just not talk about it, let it blow over and act as if nothing happened. In reality, nothing gets solved that way.

I'm sure sometimes my DH wishes I'd give him the silent treatment.