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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,308
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: The Paula Dean controversy

The way I feel is that those of us who live in glass houses should be very careful where we place our stones. She was a child of the 40's (I imagine) who grew up in the South. Like it or not, (I don't dislike it, I detest it) that was the mentality in those days. For those who grew up and learned better, it is still possible to have a brief lapse in judgement, thinking something is "funny" that is actually offensive. I think what is important here is that, for whatever reason you choose to believe, she owned it, apologized for it, and tried to live better. No one has to like her, but I think, if we're all honest with ourselves, there isn't one among us who could cast the first stone! So, if you're not a fan, change the channel, but let's all try to be the better person. Forgive, forget, and move on. Just sayin'!

Never underestimate the power of kindness.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy

@itiswhatitis I totally agree with you about the difference between forgiving and forgetting.Professionals and others say that in order to heal yourself you have to forgive but it is true that you will never forget.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,242
Registered: ‎01-27-2015

Re: The Paula Dean controversy

Excuse me!!! It's offensive to suggest that people raised in the south around the same age as Paula Deen all accept and were raised to think its ok....you sound extremely narrow minded to make such a statement.

My grandmother was raised in Alabama and was born in 1922, if my grandmother heard anyone of us or anyone around her speak like that she would absolutely let it be known this is unacceptable!!!! There are many, many people raised in the south who do not think or act this way....

So ridiculous when people say that, burns my butt. Stop generalizing people based on there geographical address.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy


@Night Owl in NJ wrote:

She made a mistake and is supposed to pay for it the rest of her life?  Is there anyone amongst us who has not made a mistake we wish we could take back?  How would you feel if you were never forgiven?  Another case of political correctness gone awry!


 

 

Whether the general public or any special fans she has/had forgive/forgave her is one thing; whether a retailer wants to begin selling her products again is another thing. One is up to individuals and the other is up to corporations who are answerable to their stockholders.

 

I don't think Paula herself cares at all whether individuals "forgive" her, but she does care about her livelihood so that she can maintain the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy

It's not up to most of us on this line to forgive racist or anti-Semitic comments.  No one should have to forgive them if that's not what they feel.

 

And this glass houses thing?  Not everyone is a racist or makes bigoted comments.  I realize it's difficult for some people to believe that not everyone is like them, but it's true.   So no, not everyone lives in a glass house, that's just a weak attempt to spread the blame.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy


@CLHS68 wrote:

People need to get over themselves. You cannot say anything anymore or you are offending someone. If you don't like her watch someone else and leave people that like her watch.


 

 

People need to get over telling people who disagree with them, civilly and politely, to get over themselves. If you don't like responses that don't match your feelings, you can stop reading the thread.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy


@NativeJax wrote:
Excuse me!!! It's offensive to suggest that people raised in the south around the same age as Paula Deen all accept and were raised to think its ok....you sound extremely narrow minded to make such a statement.

My grandmother was raised in Alabama and was born in 1922, if my grandmother heard anyone of us or anyone around her speak like that she would absolutely let it be known this is unacceptable!!!! There are many, many people raised in the south who do not think or act this way....

So ridiculous when people say that, burns my butt. Stop generalizing people based on there geographical address.

******************************

 

@NativeJax

 

I agree with you.  I grew up in a liberal town on the west coast and even I heard bigoted remarks growing up.

 

There has been so much out there for decades about the harm of that kind of thing, an intelligent person figures it out and educates herself or himself on how wrong it is.  I hope the lady in question has finally reached that point.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,517
Registered: ‎09-18-2014

Re: The Paula Dean controversy


@Imadickens wrote:

The way I feel is that those of us who live in glass houses should be very careful where we place our stones. She was a child of the 40's (I imagine) who grew up in the South. Like it or not, (I don't dislike it, I detest it) that was the mentality in those days. For those who grew up and learned better, it is still possible to have a brief lapse in judgement, thinking something is "funny" that is actually offensive. I think what is important here is that, for whatever reason you choose to believe, she owned it, apologized for it, and tried to live better. No one has to like her, but I think, if we're all honest with ourselves, there isn't one among us who could cast the first stone! So, if you're not a fan, change the channel, but let's all try to be the better person. Forgive, forget, and move on. Just sayin'!


______________________________________________________________

This argument is precisely why intolerance proliferates to this day. It's giving a pass to ugly behavior and that is not the way to address it.

 

Unless Dean was in a coma for 50 years, she was quite aware what kind of speech is acceptable and what is not.   I grew up in a bigoted household in the Midwest and I figured out all by myself that those kinds of behaviors were wrong.  I don't "slip".  The words are not in my vocabulary.

~Enough is enough~
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,202
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy

Money talks--Look what happen to Martha Stewart. It was just jail they say not not voicing a racial slur.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Paula Dean controversy

I think it is true that people can be very sensitive to words but those words might have never been intended to offend.I have seen shows about people who felt they were bullied in their childhood and confronted the bullies years later.Those bullies couldn't remember what they said and were very sorry for the damage they caused with their words.i was picked on by a group of girls who later in life became my good friends.They apologized for their hurtful words and said that they felt insecure at that time in their lives too.They are very nice people and I enjoy them and their families.i am glad that I was able to get beyond the past.