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07-01-2020 03:49 PM - edited 07-01-2020 03:50 PM
Wrong.
Using "Mrs." to denote a married woman is not just "for invites to fancy weddings."
A widow is still correctly addressed as "Mrs. So-and-So," notwithstanding the sad fact that some in people's circles can't wait to strip them of it, even when addressing sympathy cards acknowledging the death of their husbands. Nice.
"Mrs." is correct, and I always use it to address correspondence to widows, Should I receive correspondence from them using a different title (or none) as the return address, or a specific request, I would follow their wishes, of course.
When in doubt, use "Mrs." Until you know that it's not preferred, it's always correct.
07-01-2020 03:50 PM
I literally cannot remember the last time I received an envelope addressed Mrs. Michael Ann, although I remember WITH CRYSTAL CLARITY, the rage rising when I learned for the first time that my ONLY CREDIT CARD which I had had since I graduated from HS unexpectedly was placed in my HUSBAND'S NAME with NO NOTIFICATION OR INPUT FROM ME.
Yes, Younger Ladies, that WAS how it was done in THE GOOD OLD DAYS!
07-01-2020 04:06 PM
@Travone : I agree that just first and last name are appropriate. I was a young widow many moons ago and think using Ms would have been jarring. I would not have been offended if I had been addressed as Mrs husband's name if the death was stil fresh. Took me a long time to not feel like Mrs his name. Had to deal with a lot of grief and emotions to let that go and get past.
07-01-2020 04:11 PM
07-01-2020 04:17 PM
I would and do address the envelope as Mrs. Mary Smith if the husband is deceased ...And even if the husband is still living.
Women today don't usually appreciate losing their identity by taking their husband's first name as well as his last name when the correspondence is meant for her only.
I myself, would never identify as Mrs. John Smith, unless my DH agrees to identify as Mr. Mary Smith. Those days are over.
Mr and Mrs. John Smith is okay if meant for both.
07-01-2020 04:25 PM
I would use Mary Smith. I've been married for 43 years and never ever do I use Mrs. for anything. And since I never use Mrs. if you address me by that I know you don't know me. (Think of misc phone callers) I have a first name and last name (and my middle name is not my maiden name either). I am Mary Lynn Smith etc.
07-01-2020 04:29 PM
I agree that using a first and last name is appropriate. I’ve been married for many years and have never referred to myself as Mrs. nor has anyone who knows me.
07-01-2020 04:30 PM
This has always been a pet peeve of mine. I have always preferred to be addressed as Mrs. John Smith. However, I think that went out with the dinosaurs.
Most everything I receive has been Mary Smith for quite some time, both before, and now after, I have been widowed. I also have taken to addressing others by just their given and surnames, since this seems to be the prevailing norm for my acquaintances and I assume most others prefer it that way.
I don't think there is any "correct" way to address people anymore. But then, a whole lot of people just don't send snail mail anymore either, so I guess that is old-fashioned too.
07-01-2020 04:35 PM
Most of my mail comes addressed to me without an adjective in front of the name. This is fine with me. However, should someone want to use an adjective I prefer they use "Mrs." . Though my husband is deceased and yes I am a widow in my mind and in my heart I am still married to him. We may not be together now but when the time is right we will be. As long as he is in my heart he is still with me and he will always be my husband.
07-01-2020 04:39 PM
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