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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,905
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

I have always used Mrs. John Smith, and I still do.

 

This is not a sympathy card, but I want to address a card to a younger widow whose husband died a while back. Should I still use Mrs. John Smith or should I put Mary Smith? TIA! Smiley Happy

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,167
Registered: ‎01-27-2014

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

I would definitely not use Mrs. I suggest her name only or Ms.

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Super Contributor
Posts: 287
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

[ Edited ]

I would use her first and last name.
In today's society, using the formal ('mrs john smth') is for invites to fancy weddings.

T.H.I.N.K. before you speak.
Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?
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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,633
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

I am no expert, but if her husband is deceased I don't think she is Mrs. John Smith any longer.  I would use Mary Smith.

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,308
Registered: ‎10-14-2016

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

I would error on the side of caution and just use Mary Smith.  I would not use Ms because being a widow that might hurt a bit depending on how recent it was.

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,225
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

@beach-mom  I have no idea what is proper, but if I was a widow whose husband had died a while back, I wouldn't be offended in the least to be addressed as Mrs.  On the other hand, I don't care for MS.  Just Mary Smith would be okay, too.  Probably the only wrong address would be Miss.

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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

I tend to agree with most that just her name would be good.

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Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

Thanks everyone!

 

The traditional way I've done it is what Emily Post also says: widows as Mrs. John Smith and divorcees as Mrs. Mary Smith. My one SIL has been divorced since her children (now adults) were young and she has always gone by "Mrs" Mary Smith. 

 

I'm going to address it "Mary Smith." Thanks again. Smiley Happy

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,460
Registered: ‎03-24-2018

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

Not long ago I had to address an envelope to a widow and looked it up and found this.

 

Although there are no legal, grammatical, or lexicographical rules governing what courtesy title is "correct" for a widow, in general, when a woman's husband dies, she retains the title of Mrs. So-and-so. ... But, when in doubt, stick with Mrs. — or just ask.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,563
Registered: ‎01-19-2015

Re: The Newest Way to Address an Envelope to a Young Widow

I would go with Mrs. Mary Smith.

~~Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the 'm' is silent.~~