Community Chat

[BirkiLady]

@Mom2Dogs 

Have you explained to your grandchildren why they no longer receive gifts from you? If their parents have not made the effort to instill manners in them, would you be interested in teaching them the basic social graces of writing letters, including thank you notes? It would certainly help them in their future lives and it may give you some much needed bonding time (if they are willing to learn).

Seems like such a win-win opportunity for both generations to enjoy some time together! Hope you are able to do so and ultimately return to exchanging gifts with your grandchildren.

They may be able to write their thank you notes with the pens, stationery and stamps provided by you (perhaps as a gift following the lessons?) 

[Mom2Dogs]

The girls were old enough at the time (16+) to not have to be told they needed to say thank you.

They have an on again /off again  relationship with their mother,  we believe that has something to do with the issue...they gravitate to their dads side.

We see them and exchange gifts at Christmas.

[Enufstuff]

@Venezia   I totally agree, especially when most of them are tethered to their phones 24/7.

[ROMARY]

For several years, I've been noticing that some mothers don't kindly, gratefullly teach their youngsters to say 'Thank you' when you ( I ) hand them a gift, toy, etc.

It's something that, I guess, they don't think about doing.

I remember my mom teaching/encouraging me to say ''Thank you" when I was very, very young.......maybe age three or four or even younger. 

'Oh, well'........It's the trend with some parents now-a-days.

It's nice to be able to witness a very grateful upcoming generation.  'Time will tell'........

[Sassycoco]

I was raised....always say please and Thank you!

I raised my kids the same way !

I've noticed though, simply holding a door open , no acknowledgement ! Or saying excuse me...all common courtesies...in my opinion.

[Jacie]

I was raised to write thank you notes.

My Mother always made certain there was a card and/or writing paper and envelopes available. I still send thank you notes. If someone has taken the time for me, i want to acknowledge their kindness and thank them for thinking of me! 

[Puppy Lips]

My daughter in law will thank me for her card and check if I hand it to her. If my son passes it on to her, I don’t hear from her. That bugs me. All she has to do is send me a text.

[CatsyCline]

i would like to have a call or even just a txt saying Thank You.    They have their phones surgically attached to their hands.  i don't get it.  my mother always made sure we wrote our bread-and-butter notes after receiving gifts.   i guess it's because i'm a boomer. on reddit once i searched this topic and it seems the younger generations say don't bother to send gifts anymore if you're hung up on getting thank you notes.

[Zoe]

Not sure this is generational...is it? All ten of my godchildren (ages 12+) always send thank you cards, not text messages -- actual handwriting on cards or stationery that require a stamp. For the most part, my inner circle all lives our lives from a place of generosity and gratitude.

• The tone was set early and throughout life that not saying "thank you" for a gift is unacceptable. A text message "thank u" or "thx" is absolutely unacceptable! A gift-giver is not a screen/machine. Writing thank you cards is intentional, soon after an occasion -- often done as a family or parent-child activity to instill good habits & behavior.
• We don't dodge the difficult conversations. When a thank you note is late, have the convo. When someone goes out of their way to give you a gift or any kind, you thank them for their time & for thinking of you (yes, even if you don't like the gift).
• If anyone ever fails to send a thank you for a birthday or holiday gift, that is probably the last gift they will ever receive from me (special exceptions below) -- but I also tell them why. It's not left to mystery. Life lesson.
• Grant grace to new parents, people planning weddings / just back from honeymoons / merging households, someone going through an illness, or anyone grieving. For weddings, I do think many months can pass before a thank you arrives (right or wrong). For babies or illnesses or anyone grieving, just call to make sure they received it and check on how they're doing. Oftentimes, they will thank you right then and there, which is fine if they are going through a tough time.

To this day, my MIL always thanks me for reinforcing the lesson of gratitude with her son.

Maybe more people today need to know that thank you notes are also about honoring the connection with important people in your life -- recognizing the thoughtfulness and returning it.

[Twins Mom]

Lack of time for thank you does not cut it!  They had time to.put their desires on line , many of which are rather pricey, and to think of who gets invite.  

Four months have passed since wedding gift sent and two months since baby gift sent prior to shower.  Disappointed in recipients.