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11-26-2024 08:45 PM
@Jordan2 wrote:So, Thursday is Thanksgiving which starts the holiday season with Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's Eve, and New Years Day to follow. For many of us ( myself included) this is a lonely and sad time. People at work mean well and ask what your plans are for Thanksgiving, I usually make something up. Since my mother died the holidays haven't been the same, I just feel like I'm just trying to make it to the new year. For those that will be celebrating Thanksgiving I hope you enjoy being with family and friends. I'll be around for every holiday to check in.
@Jordan2 I am so sorry you ae hurting. Please make an effort to make the day special for you in your own way. No, the holidays aren't the same, and lots of us are without the family they had at this time of the year.
Don't expect it to be as it was, but treat yourself to some things you like to eat and do, dress up or dress down as you please, and make the day low key with things you usually don't indulge in--candy? A cake? Pie?
You can celebrate you, relax, remember good times and be thankful you had them. Some never do. And remember not everyone is having a crowd and a big meal and a party. We aren't, but are blessed to have the two of us. We are old and it is what it is. And please make the best of it for you! You deserve it.
And when people ask, say you are looking forward to a day off and some treats. And be ready with an answer if you get an invitation. You could also take part or volunteer at a shelter or church doing a meal.
11-26-2024 08:55 PM
@Jordan2 and @gidgetgh I get it. My mom passed at the end of last year before Thanksgiving. I got through them last year but this year it's different. Reality bell has gone off. I never had kids. My DH has one child who staying at home in Alabama this year. He's not married either. My only brother died 10 days before Christmas in 2016. So the holidays aren't the same since then. But I invite my neighbors and other friends for Thanksgiving that don't have anyone and we have a good time. Christmas this year we are going out of town. Told hubby Sunday that I cannot be here this year. It's not the same as you say. Just know that a lot of us carry around a lot in our little wagons and we are loved.
11-26-2024 09:03 PM
@monicakm wrote:I'm sorry @Jordan2 . It's tough to "celebrate" when our loved one is gone. This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mother. I can't cook because of my back and DH is in the woods at the Davy Crockett National Forest deer hunting. So I'm taking a pumpkin pie and a can of whipped cream to the Assisted Living facility dad lives in. He's mostly unresponsive but when we were there yesterday, he was pretty chatty. Couldn't understand most of what he said but he thought he was funny (g)
@monicakm I have been in your shoes many years. I hope you have a good dad visit. When you do it is a blessing you will treasure, but even a good visit is difficult in your situation. My heart goes out to everyone dealing with loved ones in care facilities. I hope you have a blessed day.
11-26-2024 09:18 PM
@Jordan2 wrote:So, Thursday is Thanksgiving which starts the holiday season with Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's Eve, and New Years Day to follow. For many of us ( myself included) this is a lonely and sad time. People at work mean well and ask what your plans are for Thanksgiving, I usually make something up. Since my mother died the holidays haven't been the same, I just feel like I'm just trying to make it to the new year. For those that will be celebrating Thanksgiving I hope you enjoy being with family and friends. I'll be around for every holiday to check in.
I wish we had some kind of regional directory, where we could search for fellow posters from here in our area.
In some ways we have become family and I'll be looking for your Thanksgiving post and we'll all cheer together.
11-26-2024 09:23 PM
OP here, thank you all for your kind words and understanding. I will make myself a nice dinner and a special dessert and will binge watch some shows. I have a sister but she and her family always go to her sister-in-law for Thanksgiving. I had a brother who died much too early, I miss him a lot. My mother and I were extremely close, I miss her the most.
11-26-2024 09:48 PM
That's great to read @gidgetgh. I know the holidays still have to be hard for you but for you to rise above it and help others and go out with friends shows your perseverance to get thru it the best you can. It sounds like you're making the very best of a sad situation.
11-26-2024 10:00 PM
Thank you @Sooner
As a Christian, like my parents and brother, I am 110% positive that my mother and brother are in a far better place and in perfect health. This knowledge gets me thru life (on this earth) without them. I have times when I feel I NEED my mom and feel sadder that she will never be here again but it's short lived and I think about her beautiful, perfect self that will live, pain-free, forever. I can't be sad about that. Mom and I could talk about things we didn't talk to anyone else about. I miss that. I miss her telling me, "this too shall pass". I miss making her laugh. BUT, I look forward to the time I'm with her again. I look forward to seeing my parents together again. They were so in love!
11-26-2024 10:31 PM
@Jordan2. I'm so sorry you are having trouble with the holiday season. I am glad you are taking steps to still have a good meal, some dessert, and some binge watching. I would so much know I would have you to dinner. My small family is getting smaller. My dads health is starting to fail. My sister and I have (she has a husband and I have a SO, but we still feel alone) My SO lost his dad last year too.
We never had children, and a few good friends of mine don't have children either. As we grow older, it does get scary. For many years, my dad invited others who were alone, or didn't have children or family near by, to his home on Christmas Eve. It made for some great Christmas Eve's with my mom being gone for so long. I miss her alot and it's 24 years. I think it's never the same without our moms.
Try to have a good day. I have friends near Ashville that 2 months later they still have no water service. The media is gone, and people forget. I will keep everyone struggling in my prayers.
Has your sister invited you to her sister in laws? Or maybe hasn't. Or maybe you would feel uncomfortable there. I will be thinking of you Thursday and through out the holiday season. Take care my friend.
11-26-2024 10:36 PM
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