Community Chat

[Mominohio]

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@italia8140 wrote:

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@DiscountDiva wrote:
How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

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By having some smarts and being perceptive.

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Actually, it is more about experience. It is more about getting burned a few times, and seeing how what first comes off as charisma is actually revealed overtime, to show the true kisser nature of the person. 

Some people are really good at the game, and they fool a lot of people for a long time. 

After awhile, you learn to trust your gut, stay at a bit of an arm's length from people for while, until you can really size them up.

[RetRN]

Many politicians come to mind when reading this thread.

[hckynutjohn]

I have met at least a thousand men, and women, in my 52 years of running my adult hockey league. I become pretty good at seeing through someone phony. 

I have never been one that buys into what a person says, I do my critique of people by what they do, or are willing to do. I also tell someone directly to their face if I think they are trying to "play" me?

I worked many years with hypocrites that would complain about everything to us co-workers, but when our boss had group meetings? CRICKETS from these same people. Me? I talked the same language and tone to my superiors as I did to co-workers. Not beating around the briar patch with me.

Lots of experience was/is my teacher when it comes to phony people, those with a smooth delivery and those not quite as eloquent.

hckynut(john)

[lulu2]

I do not know how one confuses charisma and fake.  In my world, they are miles apart both in definition and reality.

[LilacTree]

I know someone (who is no longer part of the family).  He is a doppleganger for Mario Lopez, although a little older.  He owns his own business, does all of the sales himself and always gets the contract because he is so charming.

In real life, he is a psychotic abuser who cares for no one but himself (and money).  I won't go into detail, but anything you've ever heard of is something he either has done or would do if he thought he could get away with it.  He is a life destroyer.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@RoughDraft wrote:

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@DiscountDiva wrote:
How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

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I'm not sure if we're discussing apples or oranges here.

I define charisma as a certain something that emanates from a person who is almost a force of nature, who is charming, interesting and to whom people are drawn to.

A person who is polite to his/her co-workers may simply be just that...considerate and polite.

You'll know the difference when you feel a knife in your back.

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I agree ..... it's an apples and oranges comparison.

Natural charisma emanates from within. .....  there's nothing "fake" about it.

Being friendly to everyone is a good thing .....  the fact that people still "take sides" in workplace issues shows they are petty and immature.  

Why not just be friendly to everyone ...... and do your job?

[LilacTree]

Thanks Hckynut(John). 

[marmot24]

This reminds me of when I was a banquet waitress many years ago.  I was working a sports dinner at a major Pittsburgh hotel. Lynn Swann was at one of my tables and he was just as friendly and personable with the kitchen staff as with the "celebrities " in the room.

It was clear, at least to me, that there was nothing fake about him. He made a definite good impression on me.

[JBKO]

What do you think of someone who is friendly to everyone--whether the janitor or the CEO, but badmouths the ones he/she doesn't like behind his/her back?. I have a baseline of niceness with everyone; those who i care for get extra doses and those who I don't care for don't make it to that point.

[JustJazzmom]

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@DiscountDiva wrote:
What do you think of someone who is friendly to everyone--whether the janitor or the CEO, but badmouths the ones he/she doesn't like behind his/her back?. I have a baseline of niceness with everyone; those who i care for get extra doses and those who I don't care for don't make it to that point.

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Sounds like someone I don't want to be friendly with at all! Because if she is badmouthing others, what is she saying about YOU behind your back?