The Fine Line btwn Charisma and Fake

JBKO · ‎12-16-2011

How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

I don't know, I am friendly with everyone I work with. I just figure I'd rather be friendly and make work much more pleasant than be mean to someone I don't particularly care for. Sure, I limit my interactions as much as possible with a few people but when I do need to work with them, I am pleasant. My husband is the same way and yes, there does seem to be a few people who seem to resent you for this. But I guess what is the alternative- be rude, short or stand-offish with those you don't particularly care for? To me, that would only make for a more miserable work environment. I guess it is one of those situations where you just can't win!

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

@DiscountDiva wrote:
How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

I have a very hard time distinguishing between the two. In fact, I don't think I can. When people are nice and friendly I believe they are genuine. My DH and DD say I'm naive and that's probably true. Excuse me for trying to believe the best in people.

Being "fake" is so foreign to me that I just don't expect it in others.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I have one co-worker who is a big time brown-noser. Whenever the big-wigs come to visit, she worships the ground that they walk on. She never questions why they do what they do, and truly thinks that they have our best interest at heart.

I often tell my other co-workers that she has her nose so far up their backside, that she's able to tell them if they have polyps or not.

RoughDraft · ‎03-09-2010

@DiscountDiva wrote:
How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

I'm not sure if we're discussing apples or oranges here.

I define charisma as a certain something that emanates from a person who is almost a force of nature, who is charming, interesting and to whom people are drawn.

A person who is polite to his/her co-workers may simply be just that...considerate and polite.

You'll know the difference when you feel a knife in your back.

~The only difference between this place and the Titanic is that the Titanic had a band.~

gailcoco · ‎04-19-2012

I recently met someone who on the outside was very friendly and seemed concerned for whomever she was with but something seemed off. I couldn't and still can't put my finger on why I took an instant dislike for her. I believe she is a total big time phony which was proven to me a few weeks after I met her.

She used her "friendliness" to try and manipulate/influence people around her. When that didn't work she staged emotional meltdowns and then became belligerent when the meltdowns didn't work to her advantage. I ended up dismissing her after only 5 weeks on the job.

Other people told me that she seemed "off" to them also, so I know it just wasn't my feeling. I don't know how to explain it but I know what you mean.

~~66 and owned by cats and dogs.~~

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@DiscountDiva wrote:
How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

People with charisma are nice to everyone, from the CEO to the person who empties the trash each day, everyone gets the same warm hello or a question about family. An ***kisser only bothers being kind to the people he thinks can do something for him. Those people are nice to people in positions of power, but treat a janitor or a server poorly because they aren't in positions to advance said kisser.

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Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

There is no fine line!

RainCityWoman · ‎06-16-2015

Charisma in an intangible quality that only a few have. It can't really be pinpointed as to specific characteristics. It's kind of like pheromones which attract people to certain individuals. People are drawn to those who have Charisma, but there is no concrete definition that truly explains the phenomenon. Some have it; some never will. Possibly even the person who has it doesn't know why or how. In some ways Charisma is the most desirable power to have because it inspires such devotion, but it is also the most dangerous and carries a lot of responsibility.

Charisma is not preplanned; it just IS. Therefore there is no element of phoniness about it. Fakery is contrived all on its own, and there are those who are gullible and believe false personalities, but they are not automatically drawn to that person because of some ethereal aura. That is reserved for the charismatic individual.

italia8140 · ‎10-24-2015

@DiscountDiva wrote:
How do you distinguish between someone having natural charisma and being fake? I HATE HATE HATE when people try use you by acting all nice and interested in what you have to say. There is this one particular person at my job who is so friendly to absolutely everyone that to me she is an ***kisser if you know what I mean.

By having some smarts and being perceptive.