The Elderly - Page 3

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

I was lucky that when the time came and it was obvious my Dad could not come home - he was aquadraplegic and on a ventilator at night, No way on earth I could have cared for him alone 24 hours a day. He was 6'4" and about 250 Lbs. - anyway I went to the rehab center one day and he said he thought it would be a good idea for me to find a place for him to go after the rehab center, because he wasn't getting any stronger. I found a skilled care home for him and was able to hire a nurse aide to be his private duty during the day so she would be there to wash & feed him & get him in his chair, entertain him etc. They got along great and he really liked her.He called the nursing home "That nice place where I live now". I spent as much time as I could with him but I was working 12 hours a day, and his legal problems were a daily hassel too.

ShowMe · ‎09-06-2010

Guess you can put me in the elderly category.....will be 77 the end of May.

I live alone.....but am able to do only so much. Some things I need help with.....laundry and making sure my apartment is kept clean. None of this help is free or paid for by Medicare......

Do my own grocery shopping (via riding cart), have assistance with putting it in my car, but get it out to bring into my apartment on my own....most of the time.

My mind is still pretty darn sharp.....oh, sometimes I have a chemo moment (that's what I call it), but am able to remember everything I wasn't able to at the moment. I pay all my own bills.....and am usually on time with them.

As many of you know, I have been undergoing treatments every other week for cancer. I drive myself to and from the treatments.....and most of the time to my other doctor appointments....except for when I go to my retina specialist and to the hospital for a Pet scan. Have been told to not drive at night, so I don't. As far as the cancer treatments, I will be on them the rest of my life....told this by my oncologist. So, as long as I can drive myself, I will. Will cross that bridge when I get to it.

As far as family goes, it is getting smaller. My sister nor I either one had children.....do have some cousins that are all getting older too. Have lost a few of them, and we really do miss them. None of our parents or aunts and uncles are living any longer.

I consider myself very blessed.....have quite a few very loving friends, and wonderful neighbors that do different things for me. Plus, have the love of all the posters on Mr. Lucky's thread. They are wonderful friends that have been here for me from the beginning of this battle with cancer.

About the phone thing. I never answer calls if I don't know the party calling. Have caller ID, which is a blessing in its self.....

I have always been pretty independent, and find it difficult to ask for help.....but have been doing that more and more lately.

Keep reading, work puzzles, etc.....keep your mind going as long as you can.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

Let's face it if you are lucky enough to reach your 80's you no doubt are not 100% physically or mentally. My MIL was failing, but in her mind she was as sharp as a tack and as soon as her hip healed she was going to drive again. The family is between a rock and a hard place when it comes to getting a loved one to accept help, especially if it concerns finances. My MIL's lawyer told us that the elderly have rights and as long as they think they know what they are doing the family has to abide by her wishes. My MIL died at 89 and left her sons with the biggest mess you can imagine.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@esmeraldagooch wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@castlenv wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
A couple of years after mom passed, I moved dad from FL to our home in UT. He lived with us for four years, until the decision was made to place him in assisted living, dad was 90 at the time. He had health issues, surgeries that led to declining mobility and I wasn't able to give him the supervision and care he needed. Dad was falling a lot, needed help with bathing, etc. Between family, work, and dad it became overwhelming. To this day, I still feel bad and guilty about putting him in assisted living. I don't think he forgave me for that. Pop lived to be 93❤️
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You did the best for him and your family and yourself come first. I know people say that your parents raised you, you owe them but taking care of an elderly parent is not the same as taking care of a child. No way. My favorite scene in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is when Sidney Poitier says to his father, "I owe you nothing. You did what you had to do." Amen!
@kaydee50 ~ thanks and appreciate your thoughts. As far as the
"I owe you nothing" easier said than done. I think for many of us, its just not as simple as that. No one on earth could've done or loved me more and I wish I could of given as much or at the least, the same.
Ive seen quite a few do too much and end up worse than the person they are caring for. Don't beat yourself up.

@esmeraldagooch ~ This is very true. Once you're doing it, sometimes it's like treading water in a riptide...hopefully you get out of it before you drown!

ShowMe · ‎09-06-2010

@Bri21 wrote:
It's heartbreaking. Some are so lonely. We need to take care of our elderly.

Yes it is heartbreaking and it is sad when an elderly person is lonely and has no one to care about them. That is one reason I have been so blessed with having quite a few good friends. It does make a difference.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@ShowMe wrote:
Guess you can put me in the elderly category.....will be 77 the end of May.

I live alone.....but am able to do only so much. Some things I need help with.....laundry and making sure my apartment is kept clean. None of this help is free or paid for by Medicare......

Do my own grocery shopping (via riding cart), have assistance with putting it in my car, but get it out to bring into my apartment on my own....most of the time.

My mind is still pretty darn sharp.....oh, sometimes I have a chemo moment (that's what I call it), but am able to remember everything I wasn't able to at the moment. I pay all my own bills.....and am usually on time with them.

As many of you know, I have been undergoing treatments every other week for cancer. I drive myself to and from the treatments.....and most of the time to my other doctor appointments....except for when I go to my retina specialist and to the hospital for a Pet scan. Have been told to not drive at night, so I don't. As far as the cancer treatments, I will be on them the rest of my life....told this by my oncologist. So, as long as I can drive myself, I will. Will cross that bridge when I get to it.

As far as family goes, it is getting smaller. My sister nor I either one had children.....do have some cousins that are all getting older too. Have lost a few of them, and we really do miss them. None of our parents or aunts and uncles are living any longer.

I consider myself very blessed.....have quite a few very loving friends, and wonderful neighbors that do different things for me. Plus, have the love of all the posters on Mr. Lucky's thread. They are wonderful friends that have been here for me from the beginning of this battle with cancer.

About the phone thing. I never answer calls if I don't know the party calling. Have caller ID, which is a blessing in its self.....

I have always been pretty independent, and find it difficult to ask for help.....but have been doing that more and more lately.

Keep reading, work puzzles, etc.....keep your mind going as long as you can.

@ShowMe ~ God bless you...you're remarkable and I admire your

independence, bravery and fortitude! Saying prayers for you, your health and caring friends.❤️

sweetee2 · ‎06-21-2015

I could write a whole page about what I went through taking care of my dad with MS, but he's been gone for almost 3 years and I'm trying to move on.

Like you said there were 6 of us and then dad started needing help, no one was around.

The one thing that was most infuriating was the lack of reliable home health care. I went through 3 home health companies. There is absolutely NO government regulations with these people. They virtual can do anything they want. They hier anybody they can, whether they have any experience or not. I was told that the problem was that "I was always there." Are you kidding me, of course I'm going to be there.

OK, I done.

When ever I see elderly I always offer my help grocery store, post office, any where. They are always so appreciative.

ShowMe · ‎09-06-2010

@AKgirl2......thanks for your sweet post. Yes, I am very blessed..... And hope I can continue to be as independent as I am.

Believe me, it has been tough.....have had many up and down days..... But more up than down. And hope that can continue too.....

Had a treatment yesterday morning.....and usually the following 4 days are pretty tough. Am usually pretty tired...... Well this morning I had to get up earlier than usual to get my car in to be taken care of.....license renewal checkup....and several other things that needed to be done to it. It passed and got 4 new tires, and a few other things done that need to be done. They brought me home so I could be where I am comfortable, and then came back to get me when my car was ready. Once I got back home, I was exhausted and had to take a nap. But am always happy when I can get something accomplished. Do not have any plans for the rest of the week, so I will have plenty time to recover from my treatment.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@sweetee2 ~ I always try to help people, especially older. Bless you for helping your dad.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@ShowMe wrote:
@AKgirl2......thanks for your sweet post. Yes, I am very blessed..... And hope I can continue to be as independent as I am.

Believe me, it has been tough.....have had many up and down days..... But more up than down. And hope that can continue too.....

Had a treatment yesterday morning.....and usually the following 4 days are pretty tough. Am usually pretty tired...... Well this morning I had to get up earlier than usual to get my car in to be taken care of.....license renewal checkup....and several other things that needed to be done to it. It passed and got 4 new tires, and a few other things done that need to be done. They brought me home so I could be where I am comfortable, and then came back to get me when my car was ready. Once I got back home, I was exhausted and had to take a nap. But am always happy when I can get something accomplished. Do not have any plans for the rest of the week, so I will have plenty time to recover from my treatment.

@ShowMe ~ goodness you did a lot, especially after a treatment! I can't imagine how hard that must be and don't know if I would have that fortitude. How wonderful of the car repair shop to bring you home and pick you up too! Rest easy and feel better🌹