Community Chat

[qualitygal]

@Jordan2   One year...we don't stop missing them.  My mom passed in 2011 I think of her often.  

[PamfromCT]

My father passed away so many years ago, and my mother spent 30 years as a widow before she passed at 90.  She has been gone for 11 years now.  Of course, I still miss her.

Everyone is different.  So time and patterns of grief vary.  In my case, I decided to channel a part of the grief I felt about the loss of my mom into volunteer work.  It was something I think she cared very much about, and I felt it was a way to honor her.  But that certainly may not be right for everyone.

[suzyQ3]

@Jordan2, I'm so sorry for your lasting pain; I hope that it will ease up a little in good time.

[Nonametoday]

Return to the fun times and great times you had together, rather than the end of her life.  I suppose many of us have had so much suffering ourselves and seen so much suffering from our parents that it is a respite for them and us to know they are no longer suffering. 

Sure, I would like to have my mother back but not in the condition she was in the last 20 years of her life, nor in the condition I am in now in order to care for her or even to have her care for me.

I count my blessings that my mother was joyful in the end and signing Amazing Grace on her way to have the surgery which never took place.

[hckynut]

@Jordan2 

There is no such thing when one loses their mother as a "specific time to heal". I don't know if one ever really heals from this. 

I can relate to this because my mother has also died. She died before I was 30 years old, and my only life not living in the home with her, was when I was in the United States Army. And I had no father in my life, nor did my 3 older sisters. 

I ended up turning to booze to "supposedly" get me through the worst time. Unfortunately that worst time went on for many years of my life, along with gambling. Took me decades to learn to live without my mother, along with trying my best to keep my addictions under control.

You are not different than the many others of us that understand the pain one suffers when losing their mother.

I am very sorry that you lost your mother and this specific day makes it so painful for you. My thoughts are with you today along with my understanding of how this effects your life. ♥️

hckynut 

[RedTop]

Last week was the 17th anniversary of my dads passing.  

My sadness for that day came when I called my mom to see if she remembered what day it was, and realized she did not.   Mom is slipping farther into dementia, which is harder for me to deal with than death.

I have always felt an incredible peace about losing my dad and know I will see him again.   For now, I am in the exact place my dad loved more than anything, and feel his presence around me every day.   

[PamfromCT]

@hckynut, Your post really touched my heart, John.  I just can’t imagine, being so far away, losing the only parent you ever had.  You had a bad time of it for sure, but you did make it to the other side,  To your credit.  

I do agree that you really ever quite get over losing a parent.

But what one goes through sure makes you sympathetic to others.  

[Goodie2shoes]

@Jordan2  I have a friend who's mom died 3 years ago and he still grieves over her loss. I lost my mom in April of last year from covid and still miss her very much. Before she had covid I used to keep my cell phone on overnight in case the nursing home she was in would call to say her condition had worsened and I still keep my cell phone on overnight. Loosing a loved one is very hard so don;t worry about what others may say.  So sorry for your loss, God Bless

[Mary Bailey]

DH has lost his younger sister (age 21), Dad and Mom (divorced but passed only 18 months apart). 

He doesn't like if I bring up death anniversary. I don't anymore.

But if I start remembering an event, alive and happy he will gladly talk about it

I hope we all remember the good times

My Mom's Mom passed when I was 9.  My Mom still talks of how she was devistated.  Yet she carried on.  I had a wonderful childhood and Mom.  How my life would have been if she let my life stop.

My Mom is 84. I can't imagine life without her.

[Linmo]

@Jordan2 I remember reading your posts last year when your mom was seriously ill and then when she passed.  If it is any comfort at all, I remember thinking at the time how fortunate she was to have you as her daughter.  I hope you will find peace.