Thanksgiving unfair to Women - Page 4

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@gidgetgh wrote:
I guess it all depends on who your family is. My husband would never, ever, ever sit in the living room while I was in the kitchen doing all the work. He does at least as much as I do, if not more.

We're going out for lunch today, but when we entertain it's 50/50 for us. I am not June Cleaver.

I am not talking about the OP, who I don't know personally. But in general, a note to young women: You have to decide how you want people to treat you and decide what is worth it to you. You are in large part responsible for how people treat you, and what you AGREE to. On the other hand,

I have known TWO women who insisted on doing everything themselves to be in control, then whined about it for the whole year. One would insist on making everything herself from scratch, baking bread, decorating, etc. Then after the meal she'd go on and on about having to do everything.

If you don't want to do it and enjoy it, don't. If you want to pass out tasks to others to help, do so ahead of time. If not, order out, skip it, or go to a restaurant. It's not worth it.

TaxyLady · ‎05-26-2011

@baker wrote:
I come from a family where the men and the children were always waited on. All the women work together on a holiday to make a wonderful meal for everyone and of course the women clean everything up afterward. I wonder if that's why the men don't stray and we are married for life! I guess they literally know what side their bread is buttered on.LOL

You got that right. No divorce in my family for hundreds of years.

brii · ‎06-20-2010

There's no reason for anyone to do all the work.

raven-blackbird · ‎06-03-2010

@TaxyLady wrote:
I just told my husband what I had posted. He said I was wrong. Many men do not relax, talk and watch football. He said many can get a few rounds of golf in before the big meal.

He said he sees nothing wrong with the wife doing all the work and we should not mess with tradition. lol

@TaxyLadywell it IS about tradition, now isn't it..........something we've seemed to have lost over the ages

I came from a farm family also........the women waited on the men, they took care of the children.....the men were usually coming in from the fields, tired and hungry........I carry on that tradition of taking care of the men in the family, that my grandmother followed and see nothing wrong with it.......actually I love it..............................raven

We're not in Kansas anymore ToTo

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@TaxyLady wrote:
@baker wrote:
I come from a family where the men and the children were always waited on. All the women work together on a holiday to make a wonderful meal for everyone and of course the women clean everything up afterward. I wonder if that's why the men don't stray and we are married for life! I guess they literally know what side their bread is buttered on.LOL
You got that right. No divorce in my family for hundreds of years.

Doesn't work that way in my house and no straying for 42 years at this point. . . We put the turkey on this morning together and he's still here and happy! AND he's lucky because being as how we share life, I haven't strayed or kicked HIM out either!

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

When we had Thanksgiving or Christmas at our house, my boyfriend did most of the cooking and I did the baking and we both cleaned up. Now we mostly go to one of his sisters' homes and all of their husbands do the cooking.

jaxs mom · ‎04-18-2012

@baker wrote:
I come from a family where the men and the children were always waited on. All the women work together on a holiday to make a wonderful meal for everyone and of course the women clean everything up afterward. I wonder if that's why the men don't stray and we are married for life! I guess they literally know what side their bread is buttered on.LOL

I'm sure you're not complaining it's unfair either.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval

kcladyz · ‎04-30-2012

Try getting the meals precooked. most grocery stores will precook meals and you pick up or have every bring a dish and in a disposible container.

Also you can eat out. Casinos have big thanksgiving buffets

I do not do thanksgiving. Now I am single io stay at home alone relaxing. when i was married i had to do all the work and i hated it. i am trying to become a vegetarian and i am trying learn to eat this way which is hard. another good excuse to avoid the holiday BS

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

I think it depends upon what your family background was. In my family and my husband's, the women did the majority of the meal preparation and house cleaning. The men would help out here and there, but nothing major.

My husband is one that is accustomed to having the women do it all, because that is what his mother did, and his sisters do the same. Does it irk me, yes, but it is what it is.

He already has been talking about all the baking he wants me to do for Christmas and I am already giving him the evil eye. Since he has four sisters who carry on this tradition I am expected to fall in line. It is OK if it is something you love and enjoy doing, but when it becomes almost a mandate then it becomes a chore.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@Sooner My husband and I were married 38 years when he died and if her was alive we'd still be married (49 years). All of our friends (who are our ages are still married).

Most of my high school friends are either widows or are still married (Face Book).

I have two friends who are married to each other. They got married when we were sophomores in high school! They are still very happily married! She wasn't pregnant (like some thought).

Everyone is different, I guess (look at my family). My mother was still in love with her second husband (married him 2 times) but her feelings were hurt when he messed around. She said that was a big mistake in her life. Who knows?

When you are really in love you don't want anyone else. The feeling you get from being with that person is amazing, wonderful. I remember just hearing my husband's voice (once at Christmas I was shopping and I heard a woman say, "Can I help you sir"? Then I heard his bellowing voice say, "No thank you. I'm looking for my wife to surprise her". The feeling still makes my heart burst. I can still remember the sound of his voice.

Ladies, don't you wish everyone could feel what we have and have had?

I was never going to get married. Then I saw him on the other side of the room and said, "I'm marrying him". My sister said, "You don't even know his name". The next week (dances at Ft Myer during Vietnam War) I asked him his name. In the Army they went by their last name and he told me his last name. From that day on he was known by his last name. Even his Mother sometimes called him that!

I guess that makes me sound dumb....huh? Ha!